Status: Currently on hold (evil writer's block) though I fully intend to finish this story eventually.
My Favorite Part Was Dying
Dead!
Gerard stared down at the carpet in Dr. Robinson's office. He still couldn't really believe what his parents had done to him.
"Gerard, can you look at me?" Dr. Robinson's voice broke through his thoughts. Gerard looked up at the man. Tall, thin, incredibly pale, starting to bald, with watery silver eyes staring right through Gerard over his oval glasses. Gerard looked down again.
"Can you tell me what it's like when you see Mikey?" He asked clearly and slowly, as though he were talking to a small child.
"You don't get to call him Mikey, you don't even know him." Gerard muttered quietly.
"Don't? So you regard Michael as still being alive?"
Gerard sighed and closed his eyes. "No, he's dead, I know that. Cancer destroyed him." Tears were threatening to spill from his closed eyes. He clenched his jaw and willed himself not to show any more weakness.
"Destroyed? Powerful choice. So you know he's dead, but you don't actually believe it?"
Gerard sighed again and steeled himself to speak. "He was destroyed. Cancer isn't an easy way to die. It's not like some eighty-year-old that goes in his sleep. And I do know that he's dead."
Dr. Robinson began again, "But I didn't ask if you knew, I asked if you believed." Gerard looked up into his eyes again. Something about his face showed that he was enjoying twisting Gerard's words around, analyzing every last detail. Gerard kept eye contact as he spoke.
"I believe my brother is dead. And I also believe that I would like to go back to my room and curl up in my comfy little straight-jacket with a book."
Dr. Robinson banished the smile that had started on his lips, "You know we haven't needed to restrain you, and we won't, so long as you cooperate."
"Is that a threat?" Gerard asked, raising his eyebrows. Dr. Robinson made a note in his file, no doubt something along the lines of "shows signs of paranoia." Gerard suppressed a groan.
"Can I please go back to my room?"
Dr. Robinson nodded, standing up and walking Gerard to the door. A large, intimidating male nurse was standing on the other side, ready to transport Gerard back to his cell. The doctor nodded curtly at the nurse and closed his door.
"What's your name?" Gerard asked as they walked down the long white corridor. The nurse looked at him curiously.
"Jacob. You're, uh, Gerard, right?" His voice was deep but kind and soothing, completely unfitting to his appearance. Gerard nodded. They walked in silence, unbearable silence.
"Do you like working here?" Gerard asked, watching the tall man intently. Jacob smiled humorlessly at him.
"What do you think?" he said quietly, as if afraid to be overheard in the deserted hallway. They continued talking through the long walk back to Gerard's room. Finally, they reached it. Gerard almost wanted to ask Jacob to stay. He couldn't stand being alone in his perfect prison. Jacob kept up good conversation, and he was a decent man, unlike Dr. Robinson. Gerard almost had the words out when Jacob beat him to it.
"I can't stay, but I'll check in on you and try to make sure you get treated well. Most of the nurses here are good, they won't give you any trouble. It was nice talkin' to you, a lot of the patients here are either completely insane or are just spoiled brats.... Don't tell anyone I said that." he added the last part in a whisper.
Gerard nodded and smiled. Jacob waved and closed the door, locking it with a little click. Gerard wondered if his parents realized that Dr. Robinson had ordered the staff to keep him locked in his room. He pulled his sketchpad from the top dresser drawer that stood by his uncomfortable hospital bed. He sat down and flipped through the pages, looking at all his drawings. His fingers itched to create more, but his pencils had been taken away -- "Dangerous objects."
He groaned and dropped the book on the floor, pulling the covers over his head and wishing that the terrifying diagnosis his brother received two years ago had been nothing more than a nightmare.
Oh take me from the hospital bed
Wouldn't it be grand? It ain't exactly what you planned.
And wouldn't it be great If we were...
"Gerard, can you look at me?" Dr. Robinson's voice broke through his thoughts. Gerard looked up at the man. Tall, thin, incredibly pale, starting to bald, with watery silver eyes staring right through Gerard over his oval glasses. Gerard looked down again.
"Can you tell me what it's like when you see Mikey?" He asked clearly and slowly, as though he were talking to a small child.
"You don't get to call him Mikey, you don't even know him." Gerard muttered quietly.
"Don't? So you regard Michael as still being alive?"
Gerard sighed and closed his eyes. "No, he's dead, I know that. Cancer destroyed him." Tears were threatening to spill from his closed eyes. He clenched his jaw and willed himself not to show any more weakness.
"Destroyed? Powerful choice. So you know he's dead, but you don't actually believe it?"
Gerard sighed again and steeled himself to speak. "He was destroyed. Cancer isn't an easy way to die. It's not like some eighty-year-old that goes in his sleep. And I do know that he's dead."
Dr. Robinson began again, "But I didn't ask if you knew, I asked if you believed." Gerard looked up into his eyes again. Something about his face showed that he was enjoying twisting Gerard's words around, analyzing every last detail. Gerard kept eye contact as he spoke.
"I believe my brother is dead. And I also believe that I would like to go back to my room and curl up in my comfy little straight-jacket with a book."
Dr. Robinson banished the smile that had started on his lips, "You know we haven't needed to restrain you, and we won't, so long as you cooperate."
"Is that a threat?" Gerard asked, raising his eyebrows. Dr. Robinson made a note in his file, no doubt something along the lines of "shows signs of paranoia." Gerard suppressed a groan.
"Can I please go back to my room?"
Dr. Robinson nodded, standing up and walking Gerard to the door. A large, intimidating male nurse was standing on the other side, ready to transport Gerard back to his cell. The doctor nodded curtly at the nurse and closed his door.
"What's your name?" Gerard asked as they walked down the long white corridor. The nurse looked at him curiously.
"Jacob. You're, uh, Gerard, right?" His voice was deep but kind and soothing, completely unfitting to his appearance. Gerard nodded. They walked in silence, unbearable silence.
"Do you like working here?" Gerard asked, watching the tall man intently. Jacob smiled humorlessly at him.
"What do you think?" he said quietly, as if afraid to be overheard in the deserted hallway. They continued talking through the long walk back to Gerard's room. Finally, they reached it. Gerard almost wanted to ask Jacob to stay. He couldn't stand being alone in his perfect prison. Jacob kept up good conversation, and he was a decent man, unlike Dr. Robinson. Gerard almost had the words out when Jacob beat him to it.
"I can't stay, but I'll check in on you and try to make sure you get treated well. Most of the nurses here are good, they won't give you any trouble. It was nice talkin' to you, a lot of the patients here are either completely insane or are just spoiled brats.... Don't tell anyone I said that." he added the last part in a whisper.
Gerard nodded and smiled. Jacob waved and closed the door, locking it with a little click. Gerard wondered if his parents realized that Dr. Robinson had ordered the staff to keep him locked in his room. He pulled his sketchpad from the top dresser drawer that stood by his uncomfortable hospital bed. He sat down and flipped through the pages, looking at all his drawings. His fingers itched to create more, but his pencils had been taken away -- "Dangerous objects."
He groaned and dropped the book on the floor, pulling the covers over his head and wishing that the terrifying diagnosis his brother received two years ago had been nothing more than a nightmare.
Oh take me from the hospital bed
Wouldn't it be grand? It ain't exactly what you planned.
And wouldn't it be great If we were...
♠ ♠ ♠
Please, tell me what you think!~aep