Secrets of the Harts

2 December 2010
“So, where you’ve been the past few days?”
“What are you doing here?”

It was Physical Education.

I had been concentrating on dodging the balls that I could and not making the effort to move away from the more difficult ones, since I was not supposed to be an exceptionally good athlete.

After a few rounds, he suggested that we’d combine with the boys, to make it boys versus girls. I had not heard of anything stupider (aside from making run laps) and quickly allowed myself to get bumped to sit out.

Then Dylan strolled over to the side where people who’d been hit sat and whispered that question into my ear.

“You’re not really answering my question, you know.” He rubbed the back of his neck and continued; his eyes fixed on the boys on the opposite side, “Where you’ve been? Even Luke hasn’t seen you.”

I had been with Tia most of the time, though she was a year younger (the same age as Luke) and we did not share any class together. She was easy to talk to and easy to handle. I never told her anything that would’ve been too much for her to handle, even though I had the strangest urge to share about almost everything and to prolong the amount of time I’d spent with her.

She had even come over to my room to visit once.

“I’ve been pretty busy, with something called homework.”

He smiled easily, acknowledging the fact that he never bothered with the work. But it wasn’t that he was unintelligent. He was simply lazy. “Do you want to come by and hang out sometime then?”

I stared at him until he gazed at me. “What makes you think I’ll willingly spend time with you?”

“You do like me, at least to some extent.” When I didn’t stop my staring, he bumped me with his shoulder and added, “It wouldn’t kill you to admit it.”

I shook my head and looked away, trying to distract myself from Dylan’s closeness.

“…funny how he…”
“I heard that she kissed him at Kieran’s…”
“…I know, right?”

I managed to catch a few words in the girls next to me’s conversation before they glanced up, saw me listening and smiled innocently.

It was very suspicious, which could only mean one thing.

“Are they talking about you?”
Dylan startled. “Who?”
“Those girls.”

“What are they even talking about?” He looked bemusedly at me and I slowly realised why.

I had been eavesdropping.

And I had just let him know that.

I pretended that I had not heard his question and added, “Something about Kieran’s party and a girl as well as a kiss.”

He flushed unpleasantly, which only convinced me of the suspiciousness of this subject. Dylan never blushed, not even during Biology when he had to give a presentation about the importance of menstruation. I had been convinced that he had no shame. Yet, here he was—blushing like a schoolboy.

“Uh, right… They’re not talking about me.”

I smiled. “I’m sure they’re not.”

“I’m serious.”

I raised my eyebrows, savouring the fact that there was finally a topic to torment Dylan about.

4 December 2010
“What are you doing here?” yelled a boy.

Realising that an argument was about to break out in the corridors, I quickly picked up a book and tried to read it. I had never felt comfortable listening in on peoples’ fights, even though they were a very public, daily occurrence here. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t actually paying attention to the book. It was worth keeping up that pretence.

“Calm down,” urged another boy, his voice very familiar. “She’s not worth losing it.”

“I know she’s not. But I want to know what the hell she’s doing here!”

Despite my gut warning me that it was not a good idea to get involved, I dropped my book and cracked open my door to the slightest.

Dylan and Luke stood, their backs facing me. But even from my room, I could feel Luke’s hostility emanating from him and Dylan’s struggle to get him calmed down.

And then I saw the girl Luke had been yelling at.

“Tia, I know that you have your…reasons being here. But can you please leave Luke alone? At least until he calms down?”

She opened her mouth but shut it, as though unable to find the right words.

I didn’t understand everything that was happening before my eyes. What I did realise though, something that both Luke and Dylan ignored or were clueless about, was that Tia was clearly unhappy. This was the first time I had seen her so upset, to be the honest.

And I immediately felt guilty, since I had a suspicion that Tia was here to look for me and not for Luke, as they had assumed. Why didn’t she tell them that though?

“Tia. Please,” urge Dylan…almost sounding like he cared?

“But, I’m not here to-”

“Leave me alone, okay?” said Luke, his tone calm but deadly. “You’ve already gotten what you wanted from me. You’re completely assured of that. Though I hate this, I’m going to run away or anything. So you can report back to him and tell him that. And then you can stay the hell away from me.”

My eyebrows rose involuntarily. Why was Luke so angry? And how exactly did he know Tia?

“Luke, don’t do this to her.”

Luke turned to Dylan and folded his arms. “Do what? She expects this from me. After all, Tiara always brings out this side of me.”

She winced but remained mute.

“Don’t you agree?” He looked back at Tia. “You’re the only person I’ve ever known that’d make me embarrass myself in public by yelling a girl. You’re simply special like that.”

There was silence for a few moments as Dylan shifted uncomfortably. I couldn’t see Luke’s reaction to his words but I assumed that he, too, was surprised by how unreasonable he sounded.

But then Tia looked up at him, her face not betraying any of hurt. “Fuck you, Luke.”

Neither of them seemed surprised. Instead, Luke stormed off, shoulder bumping hard against Tia’s, with Dylan following quietly.

As I closed the door quietly behind me, I wondered what on earth I had just witnessed.

5 December 2010
I knocked on Tia’s door and it immediately swung open.

“Christina!” She smiled brightly at me. “Come in!”

I found it strange how she was behaving like her normal, chirpy self, especially after what I’d heard and seen yesterday. I hadn’t thought she’d be so happy. After all, there’d been pretty severe consequences—she’d been called up by the school’s discipline board for using ‘inflammatory language’ and was apparently to be put in detention.

She sat on her bed and I followed.

“So, uh, I heard about what happened yesterday.”

She deflated slightly. “Oh, yes. That was pretty embarrassing.”

I waited.

“Luke’s right, in a way, you know. He always acts like a sarcastic tool when I’m around him. And I always end up saying that to him… We get to each other in a way that’s horrible. But it’s normal. I’m used to it.”

“If you don’t mind me asking…What exactly is your relationship with Luke?”

Tia didn’t seem to find my question nosy, probably because she’d assumed that I was simply curious about my friend’s relationship with my neighbour. Or maybe she just needed to say some things aloud.

“We’re engaged.”
“…”

“Don’t give me that look.” Tia laughed, but it was weak and uncomfortable. “Yeah, I know. It’s not a normal arrangement, but it’s prearranged.”

“But arranged marriages went out of fashion many years ago…”

“Well, it was partly my fault.”

I waited for her to say more, but she didn’t, Instead, Tia changed the topic. “Anyway, in conclusion, Luke and I really don’t get along.”

“But you still like him?”

She flushed. Having grown accustomed to her pale complexion and hence, her tendency of blushing, I no longer suspected her blushes for being insincere. Instead, I’d grown to regard them as a sign of Tia’s uneasiness. “Yes, though I do say ‘fuck you’ to him a lot.”

I wasn’t sure how I knew that she liked Luke. It was more like an educated guess.

“I wish I could be more like you,” continued Tia.

“More like me?” I echoed.

“You’re always so calm; I’ve never seen you railed up. It must be nice to be so controlled, all the time.”

I thought about it, something in her words struck me as wrong. And then I realised what it was. “I do get annoyed. It’s just that you never see it…”

“Like with who?”

I really did not want to say this aloud but I could tell from Tia’s suddenly bright eyes that she needed me to acknowledge some sort of weakness. It was so easy to satisfy her, so why shouldn’t I?

Sighing, I said, “Dylan Fuller.”

“You know Dylan?”

“Yeah, he lives next door with-” I stopped myself.

But Tia didn’t seem to notice. “Well, Dylan doesn’t really strike me as the annoying type.” She added, under her breath, “Not like Luke.”

Luke was not as annoying as Dylan, at least to me.

“I didn’t think that they would live together, even though they’re so close. They’re cousins, you know? Luke’s adopted by Dylan’s uncle.”

“So how did you know them?”

“My father works for Dylan’s father. I played with them when I was younger, so we sort of grew up together.” Tia smiled, as though remembering something. “We had so many ridiculous games.”

A world with arranged marriages, childhood playmates and a boy you fell in love with somewhere along the way. It sounded very fairytale-like if not for the fact that Tia seemed so miserable around Luke and that Luke became so prickly around her.

Why was it that nothing perfect ever existed in reality?

“So you must be that girl,” continued Tia, as though this was significant.

“What girl?”

She looked surprised. “Does Dylan hang out with any other girls here?”

“I don’t think so.” I tried to imagine him getting along with some of the heavily tattooed girls from Bio or even those ‘innocent’ girls from Physical Ed but couldn’t do it without smiling.

“Then you’re the girl I’ve heard people talking about.”

“I still don’t understand what you’re saying, Tia.”

“You’re the girl that kissed Dylan.”

***

I thumped on the door with all my might and nearly smashed Luke’s nose in when he opened the door.

“Whoa.” He took me in—the furious glint in my eyes and the way I radiated anger—and asked, “What’s up?”

“Where’s Dylan?”

A slow smiled developed on his face and it irked me. Did Luke know that I’d kissed Dylan as well? “He’s inside. Do you want me to give you some alone time? Cause it looks like you need it.”

I didn’t want to know what sort of weird thoughts were floating in his head but I brushed past him, barely noticing when he’d shut the door behind him as he escaped to the corridor.

I’d meant to have a word with him about Tia but it didn’t matter now, not when I had to murder Dylan.

“What’s wrong, princess?” Dylan sat up from his bed and stretched lazily. “You look mad.”

I smiled tightly. “Of course I am. When were you going to tell me that I’d embarrassed myself at that party by kissing you? Or did you intend to keep that a secret from me so that you could torture me with that later?”

He looked surprised and my anger receded slightly, until he spoke. “I didn’t think that kissing me would be torture, princess. I’ve been told I’m pretty good, actually.”

“Oh, just-”

“And I didn’t tell you because I figured that if you couldn’t remember it, it doesn’t matter.”

“I’d actually like to know that I’m being talked about, Dylan Fuller.” I folded my arms. “Especially when they’re saying that we’re in some sort of relationship.”

“They are?” His eyes brightened considerably.

I glared at him.

“Oh, princess, you really shouldn’t care so much when people gossip about you.” Dylan smiled lazily at me. “But if you really do care, do you want to go on a date with me?”