Pixie Dust

He thought he was hearing things when he heard his brother’s frantic calling. It was probably pixies playing tricks on him, but when he heard it again, turned to see his brother sprinting through the trees, Dean knew something was wrong. Sam was at Bobby’s, or was meant to be, why was he now running through a forest shouting his name? Frowning, Dean had followed his brother, not closely enough to gain his brothers attention, but close enough to know what was going on. He listened, blocking out the chatter of everything around him and when he heard the voice of the Fae Queen, rolled his eyes and walked away. He wasn’t going to get involved in this. Or so he told himself until he looked up from his wondering and spotted Sam being dunked into the lake.

He’d told himself he couldn’t help Sam anymore, that Sam had grown enough not to need his help or protection; or anything from him. But the second Sam hit the surface, the minute he didn’t come up for air, Dean had ripped his shirt off and dived in, his arms swiping desperately to get to his brother but not getting him anywhere. The water was like sludge, a cloud of dark that he couldn’t find his way through. His body ached with fear the longer he was under, the longer Sam was under. He needed to get to him and now!

As if hearing his plea, his wings grew, his eyes changing until he was seeing the world around him in a kind of x-ray night vision. Searching for his brother, he spotted him at the bottom, his body slack and weightless. His body moved before he even thought about it, his wings cutting through the water like a hot knife through butter. He was at his brother’s side almost instantly, his arms wrapping around Sam as he pulled him close and hesitated only a second before pressing his mouth to Sam’s and breathing into him. He did this several times before making for the surface, Sam held tightly to his chest. When he broke the surface, he gasped in air and shook Sam lightly, saying his name shakily.

On the hill, watching over the two, the Fae Queen stood and waited. She had seen through the eyes of the Nymphs, Dean swimming to save his brother, pressing his lips to his desperately to give him air. And now she watched Dean do the same, his heart a frantic flutter in his chest as he became more and more desperate. And with each beat, with each anxious breath, Dean grew closer and closer to becoming Fae permanently. She’d felt the shift in his body when he was in the water, the way his new limbs felt what he felt and worked with him, his lungs keeping him stable under water when most would simply drown. She’d known he’d see through the haze, a mist she’d created specifically to get Dean to push, to search harder and bring what was within him out. And he’d done exactly that.

She grinned as he held his brother close and swam towards the shore. It wouldn’t be long now. And it wasn’t. Moments before Dean made it to the shoreline, Sam coughed and spat up black water, his eyes fluttering opened and closed as he stayed weak in Dean’s arms.

“Hang on Sam, almost there.” Dean kicked harder, swiped at the water faster.

“Dean?” Sam’s throat felt like sandpaper and caused his voice to sound rough and broken.

“Yeah Sam. It’s me.” Dean gripped him tighter, his inner relief clouding his concerns over what this meant. He was meant to be a ghost to his brother, yet now here he was saving his life. When they reached land, Dean dragged Sam up and away from the water; his wings expanding and ‘flapping’ the water away before shrinking back against his body. He searched his brother’s face, anxious as Sam remained bone white and freezing, his throat and chest red from his near drowning. His eyes struggled to stay open, his hair dripping as he stayed on his side and looked up at his big brother.

“Dean.” He was weak as he lifted his arm, resting his hand on Dean’s shoulder as way of thanks.

“Yeah Sammy.” Dean felt himself break inside, looking down at his little brother, who he’d protected his whole life and seeing him close to death. It tore at something inside him and needing more, needing extra, Dean gripped his brother’s hand and pressed it to his cheek by way of letting Sam know he was really there. “I’m here Sam.”

“You saved me.” Sam coughed, a rivulet of water making its way down the side of his mouth as he began to shiver.

“Of course.” Without thinking, without worrying, Dean wrapped his arms around Sam and pulled him into his lap, sharing his body warmth as he rubbed his hands up and down Sam's back. Pressing his lips to Sam wet hair; Dean closed his eyes and wondered why all of a sudden he couldn’t bare the thought of Sam leaving, or him turning Sam away. He needed him. “You’re my baby brother.”

“Yeah?” Sam shifted, his eyes seeking out Dean’s before he smiled weakly and stared.

“Yeah Sam.” Dean blinked; his heart heavy.

“You know, it’s a full moon tonight.” Sam looked up at the sky and watched the moon glow. Dean looked up too, his throat going tight as his body grew warm, steam rising quickly off his body as the remaining water evaporated.

“Sam,” Dean shoved Sam away from him before he got to his feet and gripped his chest. Sam frowned, his eyes frantic as he struggled to stand.

“Dean, are those wings?” Sam’s eyes grew wide as Dean groaned, his back arching, his wings spreading wide and filling out. His head pounded as his body shook, the pain crippling him to his knees. Sam dropped down in front of him and gripped his shoulders.

“Dean what’s wrong with your eyes?”

“Sam?” Dean couldn’t see straight, could only feel that his brother was there as every bone in his body bent and ‘breathed’ on its own. He instantly remembered his dream of his chest cracking open and grew hysterical as he clawed at his flesh. Sam gripped his brother’s hands as blood pooled where he clawed, and pulled them away.

“Stop, Dean. What’s happening? What’s wrong?” Sam gripped his face and made him look at him. Dean was gasping in air, his eyes glowing vibrant green as the forest around them seemed to come alive with noise and light. Sam looked around, his eyes searching when he spotted the woman from before crouched on a giant toadstool. She grinned, her head tilting playfully before she blew him a kiss and smirked.

”Hurry Sam Winchester, save your brother.” Sam shuddered at the voice in his head, dropped his hands from his brother as Dean all but jumped to his feet. Dean could see again, though saw everything was alive and vivacious. Everything pulsed color and sang as he stumbled, the words in his head repeating as if a broken record.

“Know this world, be one with it, see as I do when it’s only moon-lit. Feel the earth speak and cry, forget my words and you’ll surely die. Learn to be as truthful as a flower. Hold no secrets, speak your mind and be as at peace as the stream. Be one with who you are as I am with the woods. Hold no more hate for what you’ve done, grudges will only make you as ugly as the toad. Tell him why you really left, not in anger but as gentle as the breeze. Then and only then, will you be as you are.” Frenzied to stop the pain, pain he knew was now his body morphing to that of the toad, he turned to face his worried brother and stared, his wings shooting out to be free and to show Sam what he was.

“I hear it Sammy.” Dean muttered; his blood boiling inside his veins. “I can hear everything, it’s so loud.”

”Yes.” The Queen’s eyes glowed as she watched Dean.

“Dean what are you talking about?” Sam had to yell over the ringing in his head, the sudden wind that picked up and blew around them.

“Just listen Sam, I don’t have much time. I know what I have to do.” Dean breathed deep, sucked in air and stared at the moss covered ground. “I know what I have to say.”

”Say it.”

“Dean?”

“I don’t hate anymore Sam. I don’t hate what I am, what I’ve done. I don’t despise what I did when I was in hell. I’ve learned over these few days that you can’t go through life holding grudges, you’ll just twist yourself into something ugly.” Dean shouted before looking to his brother. “I don’t want to be a toad.”

“A toad? What are you talking about?” Dean dropped to the ground with an agonizing shout, the bones in his rib cage shuddering out and moving beneath his skin. “Dean!”

“I had to leave Sam,” Dean muttered, his ears beginning to bleed as the Fae Queen grinned and leaned forward, the moon bright and alive above them. “I had to leave you.”

“What? Dean, don’t worry about it, it’s alright. I’m sorry, I know. I’ve had so much time to think and I shouldn’t have told you, I shouldn’t have pushed that on you.” Sam’s cheeks were damp with tears as the earth seemed to vibrate under him, knocking him lower to the ground as it bucked and shifted.

“No Sam.”

”Be as truthful as a flower Dean. Tell him.”

“No? Dean what’s going on?” The second the earth stilled, everything stilled, Dean and Sam made eye contact that held strong; warm brown staring into vibrant green that glowed.

“I love you.” Dean answered, his heart pounding in his chest. “I had to leave, what you were saying was crazy, what you were feeling; it was insane.”

“Dean, it’s alright.” Sam sighed and looked away.

“No, it’s not.” Dean muttered. “It’s not okay because I feel the same. I had to leave you Sammy, because it’s wrong to want you that way. I had to leave because it was the right thing to do. And I hurt every minute I was away from you. I felt so empty. I didn’t think I could handle being with you that way. It’s wrong.”

“And now?”

“I’m being truthful with you. I’m telling you, no more secrets. I love you.” Dean smiled weakly as Sam stared back at him before he to grinned, his dimples making his face bright. The world around them stopped spinning, stop screaming in Dean’s head. The light faded, the colors becoming naturals again. Everything grew fainter until they were kneeling in the moss, the quiet forest around them. Dean looked around, searched his body and found himself fine instead of gushing from a busted chest.

“It is complete.” Dean heard her voice in his head, proud and joyful as he realized he still had wings. He quickly felt his ears and found them pointed. He looked to his brother who was staring at him blankly.

“What color are my eyes?”

“Uh, the same color they were five minutes ago. Completely green, it’s kind of eerie.” Sam replied.

“I’m Fae.” Dean jumped to his feet, almost knocking Sam back. “I’m a Fae Knight. Holy hell!”

“A what?”

”He is Arch Fae.” The Queen answered at the same time she spoke to Dean. ”It is done. You must leave him.”

“Arch Fae? Jesus Dean, should I bow?” Sam got to his feet as he eyed his brother.

“No.” Dean muttered, his eyes going dull and blank. “You should leave.”

“What?” Sam froze before staring in disbelief. “Leave? After what you told me? No way!”

“You have to Sam. We can not be together.” Dean turned, his wings folding close to his body as he made to leave. Sam waited a moment, let it sink in before he ran after his brother and jumped in front of him.

“You tell me you feel the same, make me believe you and think we could be more and then you walk away? Just like last time?”

“It is forbidden now. I can not be by your side Sam. It is not allowed.”

“Who are you? What have you done with Dean?” Sam gripped his brother and shook him twice. “Why are you saying this?”

“Because you are not for me. Now move; I have orders that need seeing to.” Dean side stepped him and continued. Sam’s arms fell down to his side as he watched his brother walk out on him again. His heart broke, a feeling he thought he’d never be able to feel again due to the last time. He was crushed.

”Save him Sam.” Her voice was urgent, pleading in his head. ”Do not let him become nothing.”

“What am I meant to do?” Sam asked; his cheeks wet with fallen tears. “How am I meant to help?”

”Remember my words, Sam Winchester.”

“Dean!” Sam hesitated only a moment before he ran after his brother who had stopped at the top of the hill. He rushed up the knoll, and when he reached his brother, gripped his shoulders and spun him around. With the Queens words humming in his head; ’Your love gives life,’ Sam stepped forward and pressed his lips firmly to Dean’s. At first nothing at all happened, then warmth spread through Dean’s body, his eyes closed as he leaned into Sam’s embrace and felt. His heart swelled within his chest as he kissed Sam powerfully, his hands holding him in place. When they broke for air, Sam rested his forehead against Dean’s and closed his eyes. “Dean?”

“I’m here Sammy.”

“Don’t ever leave me again.”

“I promise.” Dean pressed his lips to Sam’s forehead and smiled. It felt good not to have to lie, to be able to love without feeling sickened by it.

”Have what I can not, brothers Winchester. Cherish your love and for always be one with each other. You are my hope.” The Queen smiled sadly as she stared at the embraced brothers from her spot on top of the toadstool. Her heart gave one dejected thump before again stilling in her chest. With a nod of her head, a pleased giggle and a flick of her wrist, the Fae Queen disappeared in a cloud of Pixie Dust, leaving the brothers; Dean and Sam, to finally be together.