Say You Remember Me

“Wake up,” a hazy voice said. “Wake up…..”

It sounded as if they were over water, and I guess that made me the one under water. But when I opened my eyes, I found it worse than being under water. I was laying flat on my back with someone leaning over me, her brown curls touching my cheeks. I blinked once. Twice.

“Am I….Dead?” That bitch Nicole staked me! I knew it!

She shook her head, smiling sadly. “No, you’re not dead.”

I stared at her. “I don’t understand…..”
“Oh, Damon,” she sighed, standing up gracefully, without a sound.

I stood up, not as graceful, but I didn’t care. I just kept staring at the lovely girl who I thought I would never see again. I was afraid to even move. I didn’t want her to leave.

She kept that sad smile, even though she was less than three feet away from me. “I’ve never seen you speechless before, darling.”

“I’ve…..never heard you call me darling before….” I said awkwardly, not with my usual sarcastic tone. I took a slow, tentative step toward her. “Liv…”

She held out a hand to me. “Damon.”

I took her hand to find it was cold, but I didn’t care. I pulled her into my arms and just held her. I didn’t want to think, ‘She’s dead. This is only a dream; you’ll wake up and she’ll be gone. She’ll still be dead’. I was just relieved to see her, to live in the moment that was, ‘You’re here! I can’t believe I’m even seeing you! I love you!’

“I’ve missed you so much,” I murmured in her hair.

She sighed. “It won’t do you any good, missing me.”

“I know…” I said somewhat in a snort and growl.

She pulled away to look at me, her hazel eyes gleaming. I caressed her cheek, never satisfied with any other beautiful woman since she came along. “But, still, you….miss me.”

“I do, I miss everything about you,” I admitted, for once not caring about my self image or any shit like that. Only her. “I miss your smile, your voice, your eyes, even your weird taste in music. I just miss you.”

Liv smiled. “I love you, Damon.”

I cupped her face. “You have no idea,” but when I went to kiss her, she blew into smoke, falling out of my arms and life once again.

I woke up in a foul and dangerous mood. Dreams like that were great while it was still a dream, but when I woke up, it just seemed even harder to face the day than it had yesterday. It was easier to be in a bad way than it was to face how I was really feeling.

Nicole was absolutely oblivious. “So, how long did you and Liv go out?”

I glared at the road ahead.

“C’mon, Damon,” she scolded. “It’s not that hard of a question.”

“Four months,” I mumbled, knowing she’d never shut up if I didn’t say anything.

“Wow. I don’t if that’s long for you, but—”

“It was.”

“Oh…..It was for Liv, too…..”

Any conversations I avoided by swerving too fast, causing Nicole to swear in surprise and then persist to cuss me out. It was better than talking about the past. I didn’t even know what I’d do after I killed Jeremy, after drinking a nice bottle of scotch. Maybe I’d go back to Fell’s Church; my original home, after all. Stefan and Elena wouldn’t there; they were lov’n L.A too much, not to mention unnecessarily keeping me updated on everyone else’s lives.

Nicole sighed heavily. “Damon, we’ve been in the car for twenty-eight hours. You think we could stop?”

“Where would you like to stop?” I snorted. “We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

Nicole suddenly stiffened, her electric eyes turning as black as mine. She rolled down the window, sniffing the air like a dog.

I automatically started to slow down, watching her instead of the road. I kept quiet, not wanting to interrupt her, erm, sniffing.

Her eyes widened, without changing back to their normal color, went wide and she gasped. “Stop the car!”

I stomped on the brake, the Ferrari screeching to a halt. Before it was all the way stopped, Nicole jumped out of the car, her hands clenched to fists and sniffing the air like a mad mutt.

I followed her out, still in the middle of the road. No one had better fuck up this car, I thought while storming after the crazy-dog-Nicole. That’s all I need right now.

Nicole, shivering, went deeper into the trees, up a hill. I picked the most perfect time to stop in a random dirt road! I glanced behind me to check the car. Still there. I grumbled under my breath, though silently praying Nicole was hot on Jeremy’s trail.

When I got closer, though, I noticed Nicole wasn’t shivering. Her skin was actually crawling. If that's what happened to vampires when they neared their sire, I was glad Katherine was dead. As crazy as that sounds, with pining for her for years, I really was glad she was dead.

Nicole’s lip was pulled back in a silent snarl and I only now noticed the tiny flecks of blue in her black eyes. That wasn’t good; it meant she was losing the trail.

Desperation hit me and I had to smother it, otherwise I’d ruin it even more. But I had to find Jeremy.

Nicole yowled suddenly, holding her head and dropping to her knees.

I searched desperately for any sign of Jeremy.

“Not here….” Nicole growled, still holding her head.

I dropped down as well. “Where is he?”

She shook her head, breathing hard, though she hardly needed to. “Gone……Don’t know where….”

“But he was here?”

She nodded.

I didn’t realize how tightly my hands were clenched. “How long ago?”

Nicole shrugged. “A week ago, at the least.”

Oh, fuck no.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I watched the desperation in those black eyes as Damon stood up, walking away from me in a rage.

“Damon….” I started, getting up slowly.

“No,” growled. “Leave me alone.”

I was worried he was going to leave me in the middle of nowhere, but he wasn’t walking in the direction of his car. He was going deeper into the woods. Not a minute later, I saw—from a good distance, maybe half a mile ahead—I saw a couple tress fall down and guessed the reason.

It was such a shame Liv died. She had a great boyfriend. He loved her, even still. He was going to avenge her.

Suddenly, my stomach didn’t feel very well. Not only was it because I hadn’t fed in a whole day and a half, but I felt ill at my non-beating heart. I was the reason she was dead. If I hadn’t had a freaking affair with Jeremy, than maybe he wouldn’t have gone crazy and they could have lived happily ever after.

No, Nicole, a distant part of me said. Jeremy was always crazy. Maybe he wouldn’t have killed her right away, maybe he would have killed her sooner. You would never know, though. Because he was psychotic.

I went over to lean against the Ferrari to wait for Damon to get over his temper tantrum. No, I knew better than that. It wasn’t a temper tantrum. It was the result of a man who thinks he’s close to resolving the death of a loved one. He was disappointed. But somehow even that seemed unfitting. Not enough.

He really loved her……

What would I do if I had that kind of love? Probably find someway to ruin it.

But oh well. I deserved everything that came to me; no sense in denying it. I only wished I could have seen Liv one last time; tell her how sorry I was. Truly.

“Ugh,” I groaned, feeling a migraine coming on. Unfortunately, Tylenol or Advil wouldn’t help with that, which meant I had to go hunting. For blood. Great. The world’s most squeamish vampire. I should have known better, anyway. It seemed like a good idea at the time, to be turned into a sexy vampire and be sixteen forever. I should have realized I’d make a lousy vampire, what with fainting every month when I got my period. Oh yay, since you’re a vampire, now, that’s all gone! Only downside? Now you have to drink blood instead of having to deal with it occasionally. Wow, such a trade in!

I groaned louder. “I’m going hunting, Damon!” I shouted into the woods, not really expecting him to hear me. “You might as well, too! Don’t leave without me!”

In a lazy and exhausted way, I ran toward moderate civilization. I was lucky enough to find a nice, bulky hiker. No conversation, though. It was just easier to take what I needed, glamour him, and leave.