Never Have I Fallen, But I'm Fallin For You

I sit there and realized that I had possibly made another big mistake. I realized that I loved Brett. I loved him more than I thought and I wanted him to be mine. And no super star Senior will change any of that. Now you see? I told you I was going to regret saying those words. But the only thing is, is that I can’t take back the yes I gave to Bryce. Soon winter break will be over. I had another week before I go back to boring East Brooke High School. The only thing that made it fun was Brett. And now he won’t be there to cheer me up when Pre-Cal is crappy. Gah! I missed his goofy laugh. His sparkling smile that now made my heart melt when I looked at our old pictures. I ruined a good thing. If I ever see him again, I am definitely not going to mess it up again. That is if he still loves me by the time we see each other. That is if we see each other again.

The week went by quick. And before I knew it, it was Saturday morning. The day that could possibly change my life forever. Wow, I am extremely mellow dramatic. And I prayed that tonight won’t be life altering. I decided to pick out my outfit not really caring what I looked like. I could have gone in a sweatshirt and sweats for all I cared but I decided to actually try and dress presentable. I chose to wear a white tank top with dark wash denim jeans, my zebra high socks, my black leather jacket, and my black cowboy boots. Well they looked like cowboy boots. Comfy yet totally cute. Especially since apparently we’re going to play mini golf and have pizza. I’m actually kind of excited about going out with Bryce tonight. It sounds like a lot of fun. I think I might actually enjoy myself. Bryce gets there exactly on time. He comes to door with flowers and chocolates. Classic. And, the flowers were roses! Red roses. Red is the color of love. Oooh crap! Oh boy. More love. I can NOT think about love. I have to think about other things. I shake off the thought like a speck of lint. “Alright, you ready to go?” Bryce said happily. “Yeah! Totally.” I said ready to have some fun. Bryce opens the passenger door for me. I thank him while subconsciously blush. He does the same. How cute. He blushes. I giggle. Nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting right?

We arrive at Mickey’s Mini Golf Course. It was soo cute!! It had all the Disney characters. “This place is ah-dorable!” I said high pitched. I quickly cover my mouth embarrassed at the squeal. I see Bryce relax a little. “Really? I thought you’d like it.” He said smiling. “It so weird how you know me so well. It’s kinda creepy. You stalking me?” I said punching him in the arm. “Yeah, I guess I do.” He smiled. I will tell you this now, Bryce never stops smiling. And maybe that’s why I had a crush on him all these years. A smile never faded from his face and I loved that about him. I smile. Ugh. Why is that Bryce has to be extremely attractive? I mean his hair, his eyes, his SIX PACK. Good grief he was gorgeous in a football player kind of way. Ha. Woooow. I am SOOOO weird!

We walk to the first hole. It was Minnie Mouse. I loved Minnie Mouse. Tonight was going to be so much fun. I had a feeling that this was going to take away some of that stress that I was feeling. I think this was exactly what I needed. Not curly fries. No offense to my mother but a girl likes to keep her thin figure. The first time I tried to hit the ball, I missed. Bryce and I cracked up. “Wow. You need help?” Bryce said still laughing. “Uh yeah.” I said still giggling. “Alright. Well first off, you’re WAY too tense. Relax a little. Loosen up.” He said. I let him help me swing the golf club even though I knew how. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to think. Maybe, loving Brett is a bad idea? Maybe I should just forget about him. Forever? My mind was so clouded with thoughtless thoughts that had no meaning. They were just there taking up space. And that space should be used for something else. Something more productive. Something not so depressing. Because when I’m depressed, I make everyone else around me suffer. That’s not fair to them. And I didn’t want to make people feel my pain. I needed an attitude adjustment. After having this talk with myself inside my head, I completely changed from this oh woe is me, to yeah, I can do this. “So how come I haven’t seen Brett at school lately?” Bryce said. “Brett? Brett who?” I said dumb founded. “Oh c’mon. I know you guys got in a fight because I kissed you. And I think I did a pretty good job thank you very much.” He said smiling. “Oh trust me, you did.” I said blushing remembering the kiss that changed my life. Being with Bryce felt natural like it was as easy breathing air. How cheesy. But it was and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

I smile to myself. Bryce laughs. I giggled because his laugh was so adorable. Everything about him was adorable and sweet. Why did he have to be so sweet and understanding? I had no idea. “But yeah, so where has he been?” Man! Bryce was persistent. “Um………………….he transferred to a boarding school in Southern California.” I said acting bored. “Oh. Why?” He asked not interested either. “Actually, I don’t know.” I said this as the truth. I didn’t know why he transferred and apparently I wasn’t going to find out. But why did Brett switch schools? You don’t think…………… “Hey you don’t think he switched schools because I kissed you do you?” He said worried. “Oh I hope not. N sides that would be kind of ridiculous to completely switch schools out of town and out of state.” I said trying to believe my own words. I was worried more than him. “Because that would really suck. Then I’d be ashamed and feel extremely horrible for being uncontrollably attracted to you.” He said sincerely. “Yeah, me too.” I said almost in a whisper.
Wow. I never thought of it that way. I wonder if that was the real reason Brett left completely. Was his love for me REALLY too much for him to handle? Poor Brett. I am such a bad friend. I can’t believe all these years we’ve been friends. I never knew that his feelings for me were more than friendly feelings and it was so obvious. Those glances that he gave me like I was the most beautiful girl in the world. (Which I’m not). When he would hold my hand and never want to let it go, when he would kiss me on the cheek wanting more than that a little peck, and the biggest one of them all, him flipping out when Bryce kissed me. Brett had been so sweet and loving toward me. Emphasis on the loving. And I’ve been just treating him like a best friend and nothing more. See this is why it’s hard to have attractive guys as a best friend because then you start to have feelings for each other and all hell breaks loose then out of no it’s he wants to do all that whambam-thank-you-ma’am. And then you know for sure everything’s screwed.

But it was obvious I had to move on. Obviously he did when he was sucking face with that other girl. I have to admit she was rather pretty. Ya know in her own kind of way. She was a living Barbie. That’s all I’m going to say about her. I should move on right? I mean I need to so I guess I’m going to move on. I look at Bryce who’s probably wondering what I was thinking about. “Everything ok?” Bryce asked. “Perfect.” I replied. I look at Bryce directly into his ocean blue eyes. I get on my tippy toes and kiss him swiftly. “What was that for?” He said stunned. “Does it have to be for something?” I asked. “Well no.” He said. “Ok then.” I said. “So we guna finish playing mini golf?” He said with a huge smile on his face. I told you, he NEVER stops smiling. If he wasn’t so cute, I’d find it kind of weird. “Of course. But I’m guna whoop your butt!” I was flirting with him. That’s ok right? He snorts. “Pft, yeah ok suure.” He said. He was flirting with me too. “Game on.” I replied with a devilish smile. I got a hole-in-one three times and Bryce got it four times. I was kind of disappointed when I didn’t win but I had so much fun. It was exactly what I needed. Especially since the whole Brett loving me thing hasn’t been going so well. It gave me a chance to actually breathe and feel like a normal teenager. Not one of those drama filled ones. It felt……………………….refreshing. “So what are we guna do now?” I asked. “We’re going to eat pizza. If that’s ok.” Bryce added quickly. Pizza. Brett. Change subject. I had to get over the fact that Pizza was Brett and I’s favorite food. It brought back memories. I-I-I can’t think about the. It will make me depressed. “Pizza’s cool.” I said casually. We grab a table under a beautiful palm tree. The funny part was that tinker bell would slowly come out of the top of the palm tree. The other funny part was that it scared the heck out of me and Bryce. We laughed at our embarrassment. “Some palm tree huh?” He said still chuckling. “Ha. Yeah. I thought she was going to come and chop off my head with her wand.” I said laughing. “I mean just look at her!” I said in hysteria. “I know. Crazy how lighting can change a cute little fairy into an evil looking fairy.” Bryce said. “Shhhh! She’ll here you. If I were you I’d keep quiet. I wouldn’t want to be the first one to get there head sliced off by a crazy cute evil fairy.” I said joking. “Ha-Ha.” Bryce said in between laughs. Scratch that. I’m having an amazing time with him. We make each other laugh. And it’s a kind of laugh that makes you grab your stomach because it’s hurting so bad kind of laugh. And I haven’t laughed like that in FOREVER.