The Slut Survival Guide

Secret #8: Mascara might seem like a good idea, but when you're going at it, all it does is smear. Opt for eyeliner instead.

I was five minutes late for my date with Oliver. I walked as fast as I could in high heels from the bus stop to the front of the movie theater, where we were supposed to meet. He was standing near the door, checking his phone.

"Oliver!" I called out, giving a spastic little wave.

He looked up and smiled. "Fashionably late?"

"Sorry, I took the bus and as always, it was late," I apologized, giving him a small smile.

He shook his head, still smiling. "It's fine. Here, I got you a ticket."

"Oh, thanks! I'll, um, pay you back," I said, taking out my wallet.

He grabbed my hand and stopped me. "Don't worry about it. Let's go," he said, holding the door open for me. I smiled at him graciously, and we walked into our theater.

The lights were already off, and the movie was just starting. The title flashed on the screen as Oliver and I found a seat somewhere in the back. Soon enough, Oliver put his arm around my shoulders, and I leaned into him, enjoying his warmth.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I whispered "Sorry" to Oliver as I wriggled out of his embrace and checked my phone. It was a text from an unknown number.

Hey Tanya. It's Cathy. This isn't a new number, don't worry. Just wanted to let you know, there's a party tonight. You should be there.

I clamped my phone shut without responding and found my way back into Oliver's arms. Being a slut could fucking wait.



Cathy threw herself onto my bed and groaned. "Shit, Tanya, my fucking head!"

I sighed and kept looking around the room for Motrin. "I don't think we have any Tanya, sorry. Keep drinking water. You'll be fine," I reassured her, coming over to sit next to her.

"This is the only downside to drinking," Cathy said, making noises again.

"So, how was the party? Sorry I couldn't make it. I was a little busy," I said, deciding not to mention any specifics.

Cathy smiled. "It was a great party. I hooked up with a lot of guys, but I had sex with one, too, and I can't remember who," she mused, pursing her lips in thought.

I shook my head. "Cathy, you whore."

She grinned. "He was so cute, Tanya. He had the most beautiful red hair." She looked off into the distance, but my heart stopped.

"Red hair? Like, how red? Bright red, or more copper red?" I blurted out, inwardly panicking.

She leaned her head to the side and thought for a moment. "Copper," she said.

My mouth fell open. "Tim?!" I yelled.

Cathy grabbed at her head. "Holy fuck, Tanya! Shut up! Ow!"

"Sorry," I said, not really all that sorry. "Was it Tim?"

Cathy shrugged. "Actually, it might have been," she said, grinning.

I closed my eyes and fell back onto my bed. "Fuck."

"What?" she asked.

"Did you tell him anything? He can't know about the guide," I snapped.

"Well, obviously," Cathy said. But I knew better. When Cathy was drunk, she never shut up unless she was making out. Secrets could not be kept by a drunk Cathy.

"Are you sure, Cathy?" I insisted. If anyone found out about the guide, much less Tim, I would be screwed, especially concerning Oliver.

"Of course, Tanya, who do you think I am?" she scoffed, looking offended.

I shrugged. "You do stupid things when you're drunk, Cath."

"Well, yeah, but not that stupid!" she insisted.

"Just promise you won't tell anyone," I said.

Cathy sat up, and looked me right in the eyes. "I promise," she said, her eyes widening and her face turning slightly green. She made a few gagging noises before bolting out of my room to throw up last night's remains in my bathroom.