After Tonight

When I swung open the door to the flat, an eerie silence and musky smell greeted me. I set my bag down, sighing heavily. It looked like Abbey hadn’t set foot inside since she left. I caught myself waiting for Jude to pounce and was sadly disappointed when she was nowhere in sight.
…
“So you got my email?” Grace sounded quite pleased with herself.
“Yeah. Thanks…I guess.”
After the pictures of Megan and I were plastered all over the tabloids, I knew I needed to do something spectacular. I needed to be that guy that Abbey had loved again. He’d somehow gotten lost in the shuffle of things not long ago. I had to get her back.
I needed her.
Since I couldn’t call Abbey myself, I had to get an insider. I needed Grace. Grace would have to help me. Something she was unsurprisingly happy to do.
“I’m sure you know this, but she’s got a number on your head right now.” Grace snickered slightly. “So does my dad.”
“I figured.” I sighed wearily—I was not finding this at all humorous.
“But that’s not to say she wouldn’t want you back—I know she does. She says it every so often.” When I heard that, I felt a smile coming on.
“What should I do? I can’t just walk into your parents’ house and tell her I’m sorry.”
“Yeah I know. But this has to be from you. When you figure out what to do, we’ll help you—Allie, Tom and I.”
“One more thing.”
“Yeah?”
“How is she?”
“She’s positively glowing. She’s got a little bump under her shirt—it’s incredible.” In my head I could see her perfectly, and every so often I would remind that little life was a part of me too.
…
I wracked my brain for hours. Cup of coffee after cup of coffee. I sat at the kitchen table, mindlessly twiddling my thumbs as I waited for a thought to fall into my lap.
I lingered around the door to our guest bedroom. I was a little hesitant to enter, due to the massive piles of stuff covering every square inch of the floor. When my parents left after the holidays, it had turned into a junk room. Abbey and I would basically open the door and toss something in before closing the door again.
But it wasn’t just that. I’d suddenly been struck with an idea as I stood there. By crossing over that threshold, I would be putting myself on the line. I’d never done that for anyone. Ever. I couldn’t quite get a handle on my own thoughts, but there was no turning back. This one was for all the marbles.
I was going to fix it up—and I was hardly a handy person, let me tell you. But if I wanted Abbey back, I had to want the baby. And if we were having a baby, that baby would need a place to stay. Voila. If Abbey saw this, she would know.
Now I just had to get the hardware store.

Abbey’s P.O.V.
“You don’t want this one.” Grace circled the small living room with her hands planted firmly on her hips.
“I agree.” Allie nodded, slurping on her smoothie.
I’d woken up the morning of my apartment hunt with a huge craving for smoothies. Five hours later, we were each armed with a large smoothie—strawberry banana for me and the baby—and were checking off apartment after apartment on my list.
“Why?” I pulled out the straw and licked it clean—so good.
“Because…” Grace looked at Allie. “The landlord gives me the creeps. I think I might have seen him on Dateline, or something…”
“Er. Yeah. And it smells horrible in the kitchen. There is no way any of that is up to code.”
“Whatever. Believe me, if there was something to smell I would smell it.”
“Let’s go to the next one.” Allie looked askance at Grace, who in return made a strange face.
I guess they really hated this apartment—as well as the last three we’d looked at.
…
“So when do we get to go shopping for some more clothes?”
After another hour or so, I decided I needed to eat. Grace and Allie happily obliged. It seemed like anything that could take my mind off of a new apartment was something worth pursuing. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something was off about it all.
“Soon.” I shoved a forkful of lettuce into my mouth. I’d only bought minimal maternity clothing for the first few months, but was in desperate need of some things with more give—my stomach grew at the speed of light.
“Good. Maybe we can go today—apartments can only be so interesting.”
“Yeah! Ooh, I’d love to help you pick out some maternity clothes! They’ve got some really great stuff now.” Grace smiled brightly.
“That’s fine. I don’t mind taking a break from apartments.” I sipped my water. I figured that because I’d dragged them around the West Side for hours, I could compromise. “It’s sort of depressing me anyway—thinking about a new apartment.”
And there was the look again. Grace’s eyes widened a little and Allie suddenly became totally engrossed in her tuna sandwich.
“Have you heard from him?”
“No.” I shook my head and looked out into the street. It was a beautiful summer day—a couple of weeks before the canceled wedding date—and the sidewalks were filled with tourists and locals alike. I watched a young couple walk by the café, hand in hand. She giggled as the man leaned down to kiss her neck.
“It’s been what, three months?”
“Yeah.” I sighed. I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t known what to say for three months. “I, I don’t think he’s coming back.”
“What if he did?” Grace stared hard into my eyes.
What if Rob did come back? What if he decided he wanted to do this with me? Would I smack the hell out of him? Would I run into his arms and kiss him until I couldn’t breathe? Would I cry until every drop of moisture in my body was squeezed out?
These were the questions that had plagued my mind ever since I wheeled my suitcase out, leaving Rob standing in my wake.
“I need to use the restroom.” I ignored the question and blinked away the tears that had formed. There was no use getting my hopes up.

Rob’s P.O.V.
Tom and Josh came over to help me clear out the guest room. Each time I crossed the threshold of the nursery, I couldn’t breathe. I had never thought this was happen to me.
That whole ordeal took two days. Grace and Allie were over later on to help me wipe down the walls. According to Allie, the walls needed to be cleaned before they were primed. She claimed that was how they did it on Trading Spaces. Within a week or two, Abbey’s favorite color covered the walls.
I had to admit I was quite pleased with myself.
The girls had gotten Abbey to show them what furniture she had in mind. They told me she’d taken them to look at new apartments and was already planning the baby’s room. But I beat her to it. After the paint dried and the floors were cleaned, Tom and I moved the baby furniture in.
“I can’t believe I’m drinking a beer, sitting here with you and putting together a fucking baby crib.” His body shook with laughter as he popped another screw into the slot.
“I don’t believe it either.” And the truth was I really couldn’t. Old Rob would never have done this. However, this was new Rob—the one that left his pregnant girlfriend, cheated on her and then realized he couldn’t go on without her—the one that was going to be a father.
“Hell, what was it, ten years ago we were talking about living it up in Hollywood. Where did that idea go?”
I laughed, remembering feeling that the world was mine for the taking. And then I saw myself with a little girl. She looked like Abbey.
“I wonder what it’s going to be.” By that point, Tom had set down the screwdriver and was sipping his beer. “What are you going to do if it’s a boy?”
“What’s with that tone? Is there something wrong with a boy?”
“Are you going to teach him how to style his hair? Come on now, you aren’t exactly a manly man.”
“And you’re point is?” I laughed, resting against the wall.
“What are you going to do if it’s a girl?”
“Is there another option you’re going to give me?” I shook my head. “You might as well just ask what I’m going to do if it’s a fucking duck or something, because I have no idea either way.”
“You’re going to be fine,” Tom said gesturing around the room. “This thing you’ve got here with Abbey, it’s one of a kind. And now there’s going to be a miniature running around? Too good to be true.”
The more I thought about it, the more I worried about fucking it up.
“So, you’ve done all of this—now how are you going to get her here?”
“Haven’t gotten that far yet.” I drained my beer and closed my eyes. “I have no idea.” In my head, Abbey was grinning at me. She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me ravenously, like I had been one of her cravings. In my head we were happy.

Abbey’s P.O.V.
I found an apartment. It was a lot smaller than what Rob and I had but there were two bedrooms and the place allowed dogs. It was even in the Village—which meant a short hike to the bakery. All in all, it was pretty perfect—minus the fact that it wouldn’t include a certain scruffy Englishman.
Grace and Allie congratulated me with meek enthusiasm but I ignored it. I had to get a life going for this little babe.
I made an offer and all I had to do was wait. That was the scary part. I’d finally found something that could be good for me but who knew if I would even have a chance at it?
What I really needed to do was go back to my own apartment and pack the rest of my things. I didn’t like the thought of moving out—we had worked really hard to make that apartment our own. I went through the numbers a dozen times but there was no way I could keep it on my own.
…
I stood in front of the red door proudly displaying the number 309 in silver. My chest got tight as I tried to recount why I had returned. It was at least ten minutes before I slid my key into the lock.
This had to be swift. I wasn’t going to linger. All I needed to do was pack my things and decide what furniture I wanted to keep. Quick, easy, painless.
At least I thought it was going to be quick, easy and painless. But when I opened the door, I was greeted by the soft sound of music. The floor lamp in the living room was on, as well as the kitchen light. My body froze. Somebody was inside.
Rob.
“Breathe.” I coaxed myself further into my home.
I noticed a sliver of light underneath the door to our bedroom. The faint sound of running water blended into whatever play list Rob had on his iPod. The place looked as if nobody had ever left it. Surprisingly, it was spotless. The floors were shiny, the pillows on the couch fluffed. Everything passed the White Glove Inspection.
But something was off.
Wandering around, as though hypnotized by the strange atmosphere, I walked through the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was completely stocked. Very strange. When I took time to look at the items, I nearly choked on my own saliva. These foods were the things I had been craving since the beginning of my pregnancy. Strawberry yogurt, kiwi, grapefruit, Colby-jack cheese—it was all there! The freezer held three cartons of Ben & Jerry’s, as well as Ego blueberry waffles. Absolutely befuddled, I opened the cupboards. To my continuous surprise, I found bags of Goldfish crackers, Cheerios and dried apricots—and Red Vine licorice! Out of all of that, the only thing Rob ate was the Goldfish and the occasional licorice whip. What if he’d brought back that skanky co-star of his? I suddenly got light-headed, too shocked at my surroundings.
I moved out of the kitchen, rubbing my stomach as I felt a slight pain. I walked by the table, running my fingers across the clean surface. When I had left, there had been spaghetti sauce on it. Rob’s guitar rested up against the wall in the corner. If the music and running shower weren’t enough clues, the guitar said it all. He really was here. For the first time in almost four months, Rob and I were only a couple hundred feet from one another.
I wasn’t sure whether to flee the scene or take a seat somewhere. Would it be weird if he walked out and saw me sitting at the kitchen table? What if the girl walked out first? Would she scream and think I was a psychotic neighbor who had just let herself in?
Despite that last thought, I sat down at the table. I held my head in my hands and took deep breaths, trying to calm my nerves. My doctor warned me that stress or high anxiety was not good for the baby.
“What to do, what to do?” I chanted in a soft, sing-song voice. In my head I weighed my options.
If Rob came out and he was alone, we could talk. We desperately needed to talk. There were so many things that had been left unsaid and so many things that needed to be sorted out. If Rob came out with another woman, I would simply hide.
OK. So that wasn’t the most rational thing to do if he had a “friend” over.
As I continued my scattered thinking, something caught my eye. My guest room used to plum-colored.
I stood up slowly and padded lightly across the floor. Nothing could have shocked me more than I what I saw.
Instead of the usual clutter, the guest room was as clean as the rest of the apartment. Instead of the deep plum walls, I was staring at a soft, almost white sea-foam green. Instead of a queen-size bed, there was a baby crib to the right of the window.
“Oh.” My fingers pressed against my pursed lips as I took everything in. Tears bubbled up and began to streak down my cheeks.
I took another step and I was inside the room. It was amazing. There was a crib and a changing table. There was a set of drawers and a rocking chair. I ran my fingers across everything, making sure it wasn’t a mirage.
It was real. This was a room for a baby.
“Abbey?” An all-to familiar voice jarred me from my thoughts. He sounded surprised. Well no, that would be an understatement.
I turned around slowly and there he was.