After Tonight

I had prepared myself for this sight for weeks now, but as Abbey abruptly turned to face me I realized that absolutely nothing could have primed me for this.
Her face was flushed, her eyes wet. I took it all in, from her head to her toes. When my eyes came to rest on her stomach, my own stomach flipped. Underneath a thin, blue sweater she wore a white t-shirt emphasizing the bump. Grace had been updating me on how Abbey was doing, but her descriptions didn’t even begin to describe how Abbey looked. She’d always been beautiful, but now she was radiant. Something about her just sparkled.
It was absolutely breathtaking.
That is, it was until my vision went hazy and my left cheek blazed in pain.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Abbey recoiled her hand. She looked just as surprised that she’d slapped me as I did, her eyes wide.
“Abbey, I uh…” I rubbed my face. She’d walloped me pretty hard, which wasn’t quite the response I’d been expecting.
“You what, Rob?” Her hands were balled at her hips. Her body was shaking, trembling out of some emotion I couldn’t quite place.
“I’ve been staying here.” Her jaw dropped slowly, her face twisting a little bit. I couldn’t tell whether she was really upset or just terribly confused.
“Is this your way of letting me know that you’re done ‘thinking about it’?” Her eyes let go of the tears and she turned away from me. “Or was I supposed to figure it out from those pictures?”
“I made a mistake.”
“Which mistake, Rob?” She whirled around and got in my face. “When you asked me to marry you, when you got me pregnant, when you left me, or when you didn’t return my calls for three months? Or when you started fucking your co-star? I’m running out of fingers.” Abbey wiggled the fingers on her right hand in front of my face.
“And what is this about?” She gestured wildly at her surroundings. “Is this a pity project or what?”
“Can we talk?” My voice was pleading. The expression on her face was conflicting; one minute her face was scrunched in distress, the next it was pure hatred.
“I can’t.” I’d expected a protest. She tried to maneuver her way around me but I wouldn’t let her. “I just need to get the rest of my things.”
“Abbey, please.”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, Rob, with all of this…” Abbey huffed and pushed past me, tears flowing freely down her cheeks.
“Abbey just fucking listen to me. Dammit, I’m begging you.” I followed her.
It happened quickly. But for me, I saw it play out before me in slow motion. Abbey whipped around, ears perking up when I said the word “begging”. As she couldn’t quite figure out what to do, she backed away from me and bumped into the table. One thing led to another and she’d managed to stumble over her own feet. The sudden jolt sent her sprawling to the ground.
“Fuck.” I exhaled sharply, hoping to make it to her before she hit the wood floor. I caught her arm and wrapped my arm beneath her chest as she sank gently to her knees.
I held on to her for a good minute before her ragged breathing snapped me out of my daze. Her body heated blazed through my clothing. The familiar scent of sugar made me a little dizzy but I missed feeling that. As I pulled her to her feet, my arms grazed her stomach. As a first instinct, I let go of her quickly—I’d never touched a pregnant belly.
“Are you alright?” I was slightly panicked as straightened my arms at my side. Again, she turned her back to me. “Abbey, are you alright?”
Tears flooded her eyes as she looked at me. Sobs suddenly escaped her throat, wracking her body. Abbey shook her head furiously, burying her face in her hands.
“Can you talk to me about it?” I was begging now. “Will you talk to me about it?”
Sobbing harder, she took a step back and gripped the edge of the table. Her body shook, nearly convulsing, as she tried to catch her breath. As she looked at me from where she stood, ten feet away. I watched her place a hand on her stomach and wince slightly. It took all of three seconds before I couldn’t hold myself together anymore.
Suddenly the world went silent. I felt time come to a halt as Abbey and I stared at each other through watery eyes.
“Please…Abbey?” I quickly wiped my eyes, trying to keep my voice from cracking. “It’s me. You have to talk to me.”
She looked at me strangely. Pressing her lips together and closing her eyes, she wiped her eyes. Then she nodded.
Suddenly I felt her tears dampen my shirt, but I held onto her tightly. As I kissed her forehead, my own tears silently continued to fall. This was by far the hardest thing I’d ever done. Harder than watching her go, harder than realizing that I had fucked it all up.
I held on to her for what felt like hours, but I just couldn’t let go. I needed to feel what I hadn’t for so long.

Abbey’s P.O.V.
Throughout the course of the evening, I learned that a) Surprises, such as Rob shaking me from my trance, were not good for my heart. And b) I had enough water inside of me to match that of the Hudson River.
Even as he wrapped his arms around and held me so tightly—like I was going to slip away if he didn’t—I couldn’t stop from crying. It had been at least twenty minutes before we let go of one another, but I needed that.
The transition from embracing to talking was an awkward one. When I felt his grasp loosen I backed away, once again unsure of where I stood. He watched me for the longest time as we both took seats across from one another at the kitchen table. The table was the only thing keeping from either attacking him or kissing him—I couldn’t decide which one.
“So…” It was the typical conversation starters for times such as this, or so I suspected. What else was supposed to be said, “Hey you’re looking good”?
“How have you, uh, been?” His blue eyes stared at me earnestly, his hands clasped in front of him on the tabletop.
“Fine, I guess.” I averted my gaze to the ceiling fan. I wasn’t as ready for this as I had thought I was.
“That’s good…” Rob fiddled with his thumbs. “..are you sure?”
“I’m as fine as a pregnant woman whose fiancé cheated on her would be.” I bit my tongue as he winced. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No. I deserved that.”
“I understand you didn’t want the baby, but did you really have to go and do that? What about the three months?”
“Hey, you’re the one who canceled the wedding.”
“I was only thinking ahead. What would have happened if we waited a couple of months?”
“I didn’t mean to do it.” I snorted.
“She was just naked and happened to fall onto your lap?”
“That’s not what I meant.” Irritation flashed across his face for a brief second. “I was so…so out of everything. I was trying so hard to…forget all of this, and well…that didn’t pan out well.”
“Obviously.”
“You’ve got to understand me, Abbey.” His voice was pleading. “This came out of nowhere. I thought we were both on the same page. It was like a sucker-punch to the gut, this whole thing.”
“I know.” I shook my head, remembering it all. “And I’m sorry for that, but was it so wrong for me to hope it would all work out?” Rob stared at me for a moment, eyes blazing with intensity.
“No.” He finally spoke. “No, I guess it wasn’t. But you realize that why I got…scared?”
I nodded.
We were engulfed by another strange silence. Neither of us seemed to know where to take the conversation, so we just stared at one another. I wanted to tell him that I wanted him. And that I had been so, so hurt. I wanted to apologize again for expecting the impossible out of him. I wanted to say so many things but I couldn’t. It was as if I had never learned how to speak in the first place.
“You know I love you…right?” Rob spoke first, reaching across the table to lace his fingers with mind. I shuddered on contact, but didn’t pull away.
“What is this about, Rob?” I blinked away a fresh set of tears and maintained the little composure I held.
“Abbey.” He looked a little defeated, which caused me to feel guilty. He had put everything out there and I squashed it.
“I want to know.” My voice cracked. This kind of stress was not good for the baby.
Rob stared at me for a few seconds. “Abbey, I’m in. All the way. It took me forever to figure it out, but this is what I want now. You and this little thing are all I want now. Forever. However long you want me, I’ll be here.”
I felt my chest tighten and tears form in the corners of my eyes. I squeezed his hand and stood up abruptly. I couldn’t look at him for that moment.
Was this really happening? I had waited for so long to hear this and yet, I couldn’t believe it. I buried my head in my hands as I turned my back to Rob. Minutes passed before I felt his arms wrap around me.
“I’m sorry.” Rob whispered as he rested his chin on my shoulder. I sighed, placing my hand on his cheek.
“I know.” I turned around to face him and buried my head into his chest. I had no idea what this meant.
The seconds ticked on.
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
“I’ve got to go.” I shook my head and stepped away from Rob, who wore a severely pained expression. “I’ve got to sort some things out...up here.” I pointed at my head.
“Alright.” He nodded gravely, blinking away tears.
“I’m sorry.” I tried to smile apologetically, but I ended up with more tears.
“No. No, I understand.
He followed me to the door, moping slightly. I turned to him and said that I’d call him. So I left him standing in the kitchen thinking god-knows-what. It was too much like the first time this all happened.

Rob’s P.O.V.
I watched her go and solemnly closed the door. So it hadn’t all gone according to plan, but at least it was something. Right? Wrong. I hadn’t done all of this for Abbey to just walk away. I wasn’t standing for this.
I opened the door to go after her, only to find the person I was looking for standing in front of me. Her eyes were wide and, for the first time since I’d seen her, dry.
“So you really want to do this?”