With Love Comes Pain, but What About Forgiveness?

I was approximately two months pregnant and if I wanted to get to have Joe believe it was his baby, which I did, I needed to tell him that I was pregnant now so that when the baby was born the numbers could add up somewhat.

There was a pregnancy test under the restroom sink, which I had bought yesterday. I took it quickly and waited patiently for the results to show up; I already knew what the test was going to read simply because I took a test a month prior. The word ‘pregnant’ showed up on the test, I grabbed it quickly and walked out of the restroom.

“Joe,” I called Joe’s name loudly and it boomed through our brand new house, “Oh, Joseph, where are you?” I sang it louder this time and all of a sudden he came into the hallway.

“Yeah, baby?” he said in an energetic tone as he walked up to me slowly, I waved the pregnancy test in front of his face and smiled, “Is that what I think it is?”

My headed nodded quickly as I watched his face brighten, “It is,” I told him honestly as I pulled the test towards me, “Would you like to know the results?”

“Of course,” he said as he reached for it but I pulled it back quickly and laughed a little bit, “Come on; don’t do that to me; that’s mean.”

“Do you want to touch something that I just peed on?” I told him as we laughed together, his face then turned serious and he patiently waited for me to give him the results, “We need to start shopping for baby clothes, because you, my love, are going to be a daddy.”

Once my sentence was completed he lifted me up and spun me around in circles, “That is the best news that I’ve ever gotten in my whole life,” he said to me in my ear, I could hear the smile in his voice, “And to know you’re the one mothering my child makes it even better.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck, “I’m happy too,” I told him truthfully, I was happy that I was pregnant because he was happy, even if he didn’t know the baby wasn’t his, “I guess it happened on our wedding night, crazy huh?”

“We lost our virginity and probably conceived a child in one day,” he said as he laughed lightly and set me down gently, “Man, we’ve got amazing talent, baby,” he joked.

There was a huge part of me that felt the need to come clean, not only did he think the baby was his now, but he also thinks he was my first, which obviously, he wasn’t. I only had sex one time before my wedding night and it was the biggest mistake that I’ve ever made and hopefully the only mistake that I’ll ever make.

Two months earlier.

Nick and I were in the room that Joe and I shared, he was giving me his opinions on what my wedding vows to his brother should be. I didn’t want to write anything to corny because everyone would be watching; knowing me I would say something that would embarrass Joe and he wouldn’t ever let me live it down.

“I don’t know why you’re marrying him,” Nick said with absolutely no emotion as he crossed his arms in front of him, “I mean, he’s my brother and I love him but if he’s going to do what he did then you shouldn’t marry him.”

I put the pen down and looked up at him, “If he’s going to do what?” I asked him hesitantly as my heart stopped, “What did he do?” A million and one things ran through my mind as I patiently waited for him to answer.

“He cheated on you a few months ago,” he said in a monotone, I studied his face to see if he was lying but I couldn’t tell, I can usually always tell, “Oh; you mean he didn’t tell you?” I shook my head as I felt the tears in my eyes to start well up, “Hmm, well he told me that he did and that you forgave him.”

“Please tell me that you’re lying,” I told him as I felt the tears begin to pour out of my eyes, “Please, Nick, tell me that what you’re saying isn’t true.”

“I wish it was a lie,” he said as he shook his head and wrapped his arms around me in a comforting way, “I told him that if I was him I wouldn’t ever cheat on a girl, especially someone as amazing as you.”

All of my emotions tumbled down on me at once, love, hate, hurt, anger, jealousy and one word kept on screaming in my ear, the word was ‘revenge’.

How could I get my revenge? What would hurt him the most? I thought about it for a few moments as I rested my head on Nick’s shoulder and cried. I realized the revenge I could get was right here in front of me. I ran my fingers through Nick’s head of curls, pulled his face towards me, and kissed him roughly on the lips. This was my revenge.