Tell Me That You Love Me And It'll Be Alright

Night was slowly creeping in, painting the sky with an array of colors- oranges, yellows, pinks, reds. The sun was slowly inching down beyond the horizon and I still hadn’t seen Pat. I'd given up on finding the longhaired drummer. It was obvious he was hiding from me.

I let out a sigh and retreated back to the bus. Today was supposed to be a great day; instead, I spent it being depressed because my best friend was ignoring me. I was nearing the bus when I heard shouting. Of course, you'd have to be deaf not to hear it in the quite area the buses parked in. I approached the bus slowly, trying to understand what was going on.

"Why does it even matter? Why is this such a big deal?" Pat's voice rang out loud and clear.

"Oh I don’t know... Because you're supposed to be her best friend? How can you just ditch her like this on her fucking birthday?" Garrett's voice wasn’t as loud as Pat's, but you could hear the anger in his tone.

I pressed my ear against the side of the bus, trying to hear what Pat had to say, but he was speaking too softly for me to hear anything other than some muffled noises.

"Hurt? She's already hurt, you fucking asshole!" Never in my life had I heard Halvo sound so angry.

It fell quiet for a while. All I could hear were the muffled sounds of their argument. No matter how hard I strained, I couldn’t understand what was being said. The sun had long since gone down, and the orange sky was fading into a dark blue. The night was cooling off, and I shivered as a cool breeze brushed against my legs.

"It isn’t polite to eavesdrop, you know," a voice laughed from behind me. I spun around and spotted Justin standing a few feet away.

"It isn’t polite to sneak up on a girl either," I responded, rubbing my arms in an attempt to warm them.

Justin put his hand on my arm. "You're freezing! Let's get you inside before you freeze to death or something," he said, wrapping one arm around my shoulders.

I pulled away. "I... I can't go in. Not yet at least. They're kind of, um, arguing about me? I don't think I'm welcome in there," I said quietly, shifting back and forth on my feet.
Justin pulled off his plain black zip-up and handed it to me. "I do not want to be responsible for you getting hypothermia or something."

I rolled my eyes at him, but took the hoodie on anyway. "It's not that cold," I muttered, but my shivering ceased as I pulled the warm black fabric over my arms.

We stood in silence for a few moments, and I tried to use this opportunity to hear what was being said inside the bus, but it was to no avail. Whatever they were saying was too quite to make it through the thick bus walls.

"Are you okay?" Justin asked finally. I gave him a questioning look, then nodded. "I mean, are you really okay? I know this hasn’t been the best birthday, and I know you're upset. So really, are you okay?"

That was a good question. Was I okay? At this point, I really didn’t even know anymore. I shrugged, but when I opened my mouth to speak, I was cut off. The bus door swung open, and I was thankful that I was on the opposite side of the bus.

"Fuck you guys!" Pat yelled, stomping off the bus. "I'm her fucking best friend. It is not okay that I'm in love with her!"

I covered my mouth with my hand to keep from letting out a gasp. Had I really just heard that? I peered around the corner of the bus, seeing Pat stomp off towards the grounds.
After a few moments of awkward silence, waiting on the side of the bus, Justin grabbed my hand. "Let's get you inside, okay?"

I just nodded, still too shocked to say anything. As soon as Justin led me onto the bus, both Garrett and Eric's eyes fell upon me.

"Oh love, please tell me you didn’t hear all that..." Eric said softly, walking over to wrap his arms around me.

"Why is he doing this?" I asked, my voice almost inaudible.

"It's because he's scared, Rae. Pat really, really cares about you. He's scared that he'll lose you as a friend, and he's scared of being hurt," Garrett said, looking up at me from his spot on the couch. Justin had joined him on the couch, the concern heavy in his eyes.

"Did he ever think that I'm scared too?" I asked softly, tears falling from my eyes as I buried my face in Halvo's chest.

He leaned back, placing his hand under my chin and forcing me to look at him. "Come on, Rae. Cheer up. It's bonfire birthday party time," he smiled, wiping away the tears with his thumb.

My eyes widened in surprise. "Birthday party time?" I stuttered out.

He grinned widely. "Yes! You didn’t really think we wouldn’t throw you a party, did you?" He released me, taking a step back.

"Well, I... I wasn’t expecting an actual party," I admitted sheepishly.

Halvo rolled his eyes, giving me a gentle nudge towards the bunk area. "Go get your pretty self changed, it's party time!" He grinned, playfully slapping my butt as I walked by.

"Don't push your luck, Mister Halvorsen!" I called over my shoulder, pushing through the curtain to the bunk area. The laughter of Garrett and Justin filled the front room, laughing at Halvo, I assumed.

I pulled off Justin's hoodie, putting a Glamour Kills one on instead. I knew it wasn’t mine, it was Pat's. The guys often shared hoodies or t-shirts with me, so it wasn't uncommon for me to borrow their clothes. I just wanted something to remind me of my best friend, even though he was avoiding me.

Next, I traded my Converse and shorts for a pair of electric blue skinny jeans and purple Vans. I quickly did my makeup, and put on a "Party On" Jac Vanek bracelet, before emerging from the bunk area. I tossed Justin's hoodie back to him.

"Took you long enough," Garrett said, rolling his eyes. I playfully slapped his arm. His jaw dropped in fake shock, as he rubbed the spot I hit him "You meany!"

Eric pushed him aside, linking his arm with mine. "Let's go party!" He exclaimed loudly, pulling me along as he marched off the bus. The cool night air was much more comfortable now that my legs and arms were covered. The scent of smoke lingered in the air, getting heavier as the orange glow of a bonfire grew brighter.

People were gathered around the orange flames, plastic cups and beer bottles in hand. As they spotted me, random 'happy-birthday's were being yelled at me.

I smiled widely, thanking everyone, before going to get a beer. Halvo and I just sat Indian-style, facing each other, the fire off to our side. I took a sip of beer. "Thank you," I said quietly, staring down at the grass.

"For what?"

I offered him a weak smile. "For everything, I guess. For today. You've been here for me the whole day, and I really appreciate that."

Eric reached over, entwining his hand with mine. "Don't even mention it. You're one of my favorite people in the whole wide world- you know I'd do anything for you."
I just nodded, a silence falling upon us. It was only broken by the occasional person coming over to wish me a happy birthday. I took a sip of my beer, noticing a figure standing next to us.

"Rae, I... can we talk? Please?" The lanky figure asked.

"You have a lot of nerve-"

I cut Eric off, squeezing his hand. "It's fine," I told him, standing up. I turned back to the longhaired boy. "So, let's talk."

"Look, I...." he paused, glancing down at Eric who was watching us intently. Instead of continuing, he grabbed my hand, gently pulling me away from Eric, "Come on."
Finally, we were far enough away from Halvo to be out of earshot and out of sight. "So, you wanted to talk?"

Pat let out a small sigh. "Reagan, I am so sorry. I was being a total dick today."
I nodded. "Yeah, you kind of were," I chuckled. "What did I do that made you avoid me like that?"

His face was close to mine. So close that I could feel his cool breath brushing against my face. It smelt sweet, like marshmallows or something sugary like that. Someone had obviously been eating s'mores. "Believe me Rae, it wasn’t your fault. I was just being a dumbass. I'm so sorry," Pat said softly. His hand reached up, his fingertips brushing against my cheek as he pushed a few strands of hair behind my ear. My heart skipped a beat at the contact.

"I forgive you," I said quietly, looking down at the grass. It had a faint orange tinge from the light cast off from the bonfire. I couldn’t look at Pat. His face was too close to mine, it was too tempting.

"Then why won't you look at me?" Pat's calloused hands cupped my face, forcing me to look up at him.

Our faces were already so close. I leaned even closer slowly, as did he, our lips merely centimeters apart. "Just fucking kiss her already!" A way less than sober John yelled from a few feet away. My cheeks flushed, and I torn myself away from Pat. I turned my face away from him, a wave of my auburn hair falling from behind my ear.

"John, no, you stupid drunk. Leave them alone!" I heard Kenny yell at him.

"But he should just kiss her already! We all knew it would happen eventually!" John announced loudly. This was followed by his shouts of protest, and I assumed Kennedy was dragging him away from us.

My cheeks were still burning with embarrassment and I couldn't bring myself to look at Pat anymore.

"Reagan?" He said softly, tucking the loose strands of hair behind my ear. I shouldn’t help but shuttered at the feeling. "Rae, will you look at me? Please."

Slowly, I turned my head back towards him, looking up at the taller drummer. "Yes, Pat?" I asked, biting down on my lip.

"I uh, I sort of didn’t get you a birthday gift... So I was hoping that this would work instead," Pat stuttered out. I briefly gave him a confused look, but before I could even question what he meant, his soft, pink lips pressed against mine.

My eyes fluttered shut. Pat was kissing me. Pat fucking Kirch was kissing me. My best friend for years, the boy I was falling madly in love with, was kissing me. But it was over all too quickly.

A bright flash of light, almost like lightning, caused us to pull apart quickly. I spun around to discover Jared standing a few feet away, holding a camera. "It's about time you two kissed!"
I wanted to smack him. I almost did, but Pat grabbed me by my waist, holding me back. Instead, I just flipped Jared off. He chuckled, but headed back towards the fire.

Slowly, I turned back to Pat. Why was I so nervous? He was the one who kissed me! He laughed softly. "Well, this is kind of awkward now..."

I couldn’t help but smile at that. "Just to let you know," I whispered, standing up on my tippy-toes so I was closer to him. "That was one of the best birthday gifts I've gotten all day."
His arms snaked around my waist, and he ducked down a bit, his lips almost touching mine. But once again, we were interrupted.

"He kissed you?" Sierra screamed. "Oh my god! Oh my- oh, am I interrupting something?" She looked embarrassed as she realized she ruined Pat and my moment. "I'll just... I'm gonna leave you two alone now."

"So, where were we?" I asked Pat, looking into his deep, chocolaty eyes.

"I think we were right here," he whispered before pressing his lips against mine. That moment, the contact of our lips, made up for the rest of the day. Eventually, we pulled away, breathing heavily. Pat leaned his forehead against mine. "Hey Rae?"

"Hmm?"

"I really hope you had a happy birthday," Pat said, kissing me again. And with his lips against mine, I did have a happy birthday.