Please Don't Cross Me, I Asked Nicely

A month and some days passed making it Sunday, February 14th, Valentine’s Day; my new least favorite holiday of the year.

I realized a couple of days after turning in the form for my schedule for next year that I needed to talk to Nick about the song whether I liked it or not.

So, on now, to me, the worst holiday of the entire year, I knocked on Nick’s door, sighing as I thought of the conversation Mel and I had numerous times.

“Just talk to him, Rose. You guys took a break, not signed some sort of document that said you’ll never speak to each other again!” Mel exclaimed angrily.

“You don’t understand, though! It’s odd enough seeing him in every class as it is! Do you know how I long to feel his touch, his lips on mine again? This suuuuckkkks!” I exclaimed, falling onto my bed.

“Well, the reality is that whether you like it or not, you made a promise to Nick, Joe, and Kevin, so since Nick is the only non-busy person you can talk to about the song, you don’t have a choice”, she concluded, diverting her attention back to her science homework.

Thanks a lot, Mel. I thought before knocking on Nick’s door once again.

It swung open, revealing a fully-clothed Nick. He was in a black tank top and shorts.

His eyes landed on me, staring with such intensity that I stared back at him.

“Uh, yes?” he asked after a while, but it wasn’t with an attitude.

“The song you and your brothers are going to play. I have to learn the chords, remember?” I asked, rubbing my arm lightly.

“Oh. Oh! Y-you still want to perform with us?” he asked in surprise.

“Yeah. I made a promise and I’m going to keep it”, I said with a fake smile.

His face was emotionless, though. A part of me wished I could read him, but I knew this was just as awkward for him as it was for me.

“So, we’re heading down to the lounge?” he asked, grabbing his shoes, some socks, and his keys.

“Yeah. Where is the performance going to be, anyway?” I asked, the words falling out before I could stop them.

“Uh, we haven’t decided yet. Probably somewhere in Dallas”, he answered coolly.

“Texas?!” I squeaked. Nick chuckled lightly.

“It’s no big, Rose. Just think of it like the performance on New Year’s”, he answered.

“Easy for you to say. You’ve performed in front of an audience before. Why does it have to be Texas, anyway?” I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

“Well, it’s my Grandpa’s birthday, so, I was hoping I could-show you off to him..but that was before we decided to…you know”, he said, trailing off awkwardly.

“I still want to do it”, I said with determination.

“Really?” he asked in shock once more.

“Yes”, I answered calmly, biting my lip afterward.

If it meant hanging out with him again, I was going to do whatever it took to get his attention back while giving him his space.

“O-OK, then”, he said, leading the way to the lounge.

…

When we reached it, it was surprisingly empty again. I rubbed my arm nervously as Nick went backstage again, getting a black, electric guitar. I sighed quietly as I took it with my small hands (compared to his, anyway), gripping it lightly as he pulled the strap over my shoulder for me. I mumbled a low “thanks” before waiting for him to grab one of his own.

Once he did, he plugged both guitars in, getting ready himself.

“We’ll go over the first part of the song, OK? I’ll sing the parts since Joe and Kevin aren’t here, don’t expect it to sound fantastic as it should, alright?” he asked.

I nodded once more. What was wrong with me? Was I going to become a mute around Nick?

My attention diverted back to him as I watched him play the first few notes, catching on slowly after a few tries, but by the third, I had it packed down.

“Alright. You’ve got the first verse down, now let’s try the chorus, then both parts together, alright?” he asked.

I watched him play, really getting into the music once he finished the chorus. My eyes were on him the entire time, taking in every note and chord he played as well as sung.

Needless to say, Nick’s voice was beautiful.

About an hour later, I had half of the song memorized, but I kept messing up on some parts. I began to grow frustrated after a while and I noticed Nick do the same.

“No”, he said, interrupting me when I played the wrong note for the tenth time in a row. “It’s like this”, he said, playing the chords perfectly.

“It’s hard, Nick. It’s not going to come easily to me like you, you know?” I asked with an attitude.

“If you’d concentrate harder, you’ll be able to get it easier”, he said in the same tone as I did, ticking me off even more. He stared intently at me again as though he were trying to read me, but I didn’t show any emotion besides anger or at least that’s what I thought that was all I was showing.

His face softened for a second before it went blank again as I spoke.

“It’s not that easy to transition from acoustic to electric so you shouldn’t expect me to get it all down in one day. Isn’t that what practicing is for?” I asked, stopping as the door opened.

Both me and Nick’s eyes landed on Vic’s figure. She was wearing black sweat pants, shoes, tank, and a matching jacket as though she was going to go on a run. I then stared at Nick, putting two and two together.

He and Vic were going to hang out with one another! The nerve of those two!

I sighed quietly as Vic’s face showed slight surprise and horror all in one expression as she stared at the two of us.

“Shit, um”, she mumbled, but I heard her and I’m sure Nick did as well. She played with her hair which was in a high ponytail before speaking again.

“I-if you guys were busy, then I could come back later-”, she began, but both Nick and I cut across her saying “no”, but I added more.

“It’s OK, Vic, really”, I said, lying through my teeth.

I saw Nick’s eyes land on me once again as I spoke. They didn’t leave me as I spoke once more.

“If you have other things to do, then we can always reschedule, right?” I asked, plastering a smile on my lips while inside, my heart was breaking.

I glanced at Nick before looking at Vic again. She looked too stunned to say anything at first before she actually did.

“Er… No, it’s fine”, she said with a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

This was starting to get too awkward. I took the guitar off, setting it down, carefully on the stage before flashing Nick a smile, another fake one.

“It’s OK. You know where to find me when you’re free again. See ya around”, I walked to the door, Vic moving out of the way.

I turned quickly to her, smiling at her as well before saying “bye” to her also.

“R-Rose”, Nick called, but I ignored him, exiting the door.

I allowed my feet to carry me wherever they pleased, somehow ending up at the tree my mom more than likely sat under. Even though it was cold outside, it soothed me as the pain filled me and soon enough, my heart literally ached as the usual pains came back.

I put a hand to the tree as I began my breathing routine, a tear escaping me as I thought everything over.

Either Nick already moved on or they’re just friends. I didn’t want to think about it any longer until a voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Rose? Are you alright?” Jake asked.

I turned to face him. He was wearing a blue shirt and jeans with a black, leather jacket on.

I nodded to him in return, inhaling once again as the pain persisted.

“Rose, are you having heart pains?” he asked, knowing my routine. I nodded again getting a sigh out of him.

“Fuck. What happened? You usually don’t get those unless you’re really upset or they’re just sporadic”, he said in a concerned tone.

I stared into his dark brown eyes and saw the concern in those as well.

“I-I’m fine”, I said, but Jake didn’t buy it.

“Did Vic do something?” he asked, reading me like a book like he used to.

“No. I’m fine. I just got upset about something. That’s all”, I lied.

“Is it about Nick? Are you two OK?” he asked. Boy, he just didn’t know when to quit.

“Jake, please. Just leave me alone”, I said in a cold tone.

He frowned at me and nodded before reluctantly turning and walking away from me.

Damn. That was weird. What was weirder was that as Jake was walking away, my heart pains began to lessen.