Please Don't Cross Me, I Asked Nicely

A couple of weeks later, Nick and I had another tutoring session. This time, it was sunny and slightly warmer than the previous time.

We hadn’t spoken much since then nor had I asked about him and Vic hanging out. I tried forgetting about it, but I couldn’t.

Why the hell was she hanging out with Nick, anyway? Mel was lost as well. She didn’t know about them hanging out that day, but she did tell me that they had been hanging out with one another and I soon began to worry.

Was I losing Nick to my sister? No, Vic’s changed. She wouldn’t do that to me. Would she?

“Earth to Rose”, Nick’s voice said, bringing me out of my thoughts as I saw his fingers snapping in front of my face.

I hadn’t realized I had stopped playing after my mind drifted off about my problems.

“Are you going to start playing?” he asked a hint of concern in his voice.

“Y-yeah”, I answered, thinking of the chords before I started playing them.

I thought of the beat of the song, the chords coming to me as though it was second nature to me. I played three-quarters of the way through the song before I messed up for the first time that day. I had a look of disappointment on my face. I messed up when I was almost there.
Nick cheered, smiling all the while, actually showing his teeth as he clapped a little, taking little notice to my disappointment.

“Good job, Rose. You made it almost all the way through the song only messing up once. Congrats”, he said with a slight hint of sarcasm, but I knew he was joking.

I shook my head feverishly as I began playing again, determined more than ever to get it fully right.

“R-Rose! You don’t have to play it again so soon! Celebrate this small feat”, Nick cried over the loud guitar.

“No! I’m going to get it right! It has to be perfect!” I exclaimed, my fingers gliding easily as I played the right chords, the song replaying in my head, opening my own mouth to sing it once I got near the end.

“We get closer and closer again,
But we’re fallin’ apart,
I’m losin’, you’re losin’ a friend.
It’s always over before we start!

You’re askin’ for love
And I wish I believed you,
But it’s easy to see that it’s over!
There’s no one to blame!
No, it’ll never be the saaaame!

No, it’ll never be the saaaame!
No, it’ll never be the same!
‘Cause it’s over and there’s no one to blame!
It’ll never be the same!
‘Cause it’s over, there’s no one to blame!
It’ll never be the same!

I concluded, playing the last few chords as I heaved a few breaths.

Silence reigned over us before either of us spoke.

“R-Rose, what was that?” Nick asked in a serious tone.

“N-nothing”, I answered, closing my eyes as I felt my voice quiver.

“It’s not nothing. Tell me”, he said in a slightly demanding tone.

I felt my defensive side kick in and opened my mouth before I could stop myself.

“No. You don’t need to know anything”, I answered in a cold, harsh tone.

I gave him a hard look as he tried reading me again, but sighed in an annoyed tone.

“Fine. Don’t bother coming back for lessons”, he said, brushing past me as he placed his guitar down, holding out his hand to me once he finished with his own.

“No. You can’t just stop giving me lessons just because I won’t tell you what’s on my mind. We’re taking a break, remember?” I asked with an attitude.

“Damn it, Rose. Why are you being so fucking difficult?!” he yelled, but I didn’t get as scared as it wasn't the first time he yelled at me.

“Because you’re fucking difficult! You wanted to take a break, yet you decide to just move on by going out with my sister?! Really, Nick?! HAVE YOU HONESTLY STOOPED THAT LOW?!” I yelled back.

“STOP FUCKING SAYING THAT! SHE AND I ARE JUST-”, he began, but I cut across him.

“FRIENDS, RIGHT?! IF YOU’RE ‘JUST FRIENDS’ THEN WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HANGING OUT WITH HER. It’s like you just up and said, ‘fuck Rose. I’ll just talk to Vic instead’!” I exclaimed, not yelling when I said the last sentence.

“We never set any boundaries of who we can and can’t talk to! Why are you making such a big deal out of this? Why do you keep thinking I’m falling for Vic?!” he asked just as angrily, but in a calmer tone than his yelling.

“BECAUSE YOU ARE, NICK!” I got out.

Silence fell over us once again before I spoke in a quieter tone.

“You are, Nick. I see it so much, but I don’t want to believe it to be true. I’m scared. I’m scared of losing you to her. I’m scared of you falling for her whenever we argue like this. I know it’s pushing you away from me. I can see that”, I said, pouring my heart and soul out to him.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t see what you see”, he said, more than likely mocking me slightly, but I didn’t let it phase me.

“I won’t ask about how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking exactly. I’m going to give you your space that you wanted. You don’t have to tutor me anymore. I’m pretty sure I have the song memorized and I’ll keep practicing on my own somehow”, I said lying to myself more than I was to him.

“I just don’t know right now”, he said, as I began to turn away from him, crushing my heart even more.

“And I understand that. Like I said before, see you around, Nick”, I said before I took off the guitar, setting it down gently then exited the door once more.

...

“HE SAID WHAT?!” Mel exclaimed angrily. She began putting on her black converses before I stopped her.

“What are you doing?” I asked, trying to keep myself from crying for the umpteenth time.

Of course, I told Mel what happened and even thought it was only half an hour from the time in which everything happened, I’d felt like I’d cried for hours.

“I’m gonna kick his ass is what I’m gonna do!” she answered as though it were obvious.

“Mel-”, I began, but she cut across me.

“Don’t ‘Mel’ me, Rose. I’m so sick of him and his bullshit! I don’t need to see you constantly cry and getting hurt over Nick! He’s just being a total douche right now!” she said, rambling before she finally sat back down on my bed.

I didn’t speak as I laid back down, staring at the ceiling wondering about it all. How the hell could everything turn sour in a period of months? He and I were happy in September and October, then it all went downhill from there.

I tried thinking of if it as though it was my fault, but I stopped once Mel spoke as I heard my anime ringtone go off.

“It’s your phone, Rosie. You should answer it”, she said in a calmer tone.

I felt her gaze watch me as I answered the phone shakily seeing Joe flash on my caller id.

“Hey, Joe”, I said, clearing my throat afterward.

“Hey, Rosie! Anything changed yet?” he asked with some hope in his tone.

“Nothing. I think it’s probably-”, I began, but he cut across me.

“Don’t say that , Rose. Please don’t say it”, he begged, groaning afterward.

“Why? It’s more than likely-”, I began, but he cut across me again.

“I refuse to believe that, alright?!” he practically yelled into the phone.

I took a sharp breath as I prepared myself for his input. Joe was honest just like Mel, but the only differences between those two was Mel defended me whenever she felt like she needed to. Joe, however, was more of a waiting until it was absolutely necessary before interfering.

“Look. I want to see you and Nick happy again together. Even though you guys are going through a rough patch right now, I’m still hoping, praying for things to work out. I want to see some type of goodness happen close to me since I don’t have anything going good for myself right now”, he said blatantly.

I glanced at Mel who had turned on the TV to watch some show.

“Then say it, Joe. You have to make it happen”, I said with certainty, but he got the hint.

“No way, Rose. I cannot tell her that I love her”, he replied.

“Why not? Even though things aren’t working out for me, I’d like to see you happy, too as well as the other person”, I said, not looking at Mel anymore.

“No”, he said in a tone that said he wasn’t going to change his mind.

“Screw this”, I said, turning to Mel.

“Rose! Rosalina, don’t do what I think you’re about to do!” he exclaimed.

“Melanie”, I said in a serious tone.

Her attention went to me quickly.

“What? Somethin’ wrong?” she asked.

“Yes, there is”, I answered.

“What? What is it? Did he say anything? Oh my gosh! Don’t tell me I have to kill him!” she groaned.

“No! Mel-”, I began, but Joe cut across me in my ear.

“No, Rose!” he exclaimed.

“Joe’s in love with you”, I said, ignoring him and her upset expression as she was thinking of the work she’d have to do to kill Nick.

Both of them were silent but I could actually see the shock on her face.

“No he doesn’t”, she said blatantly, turning back to the TV, but I slapped her hand, then turned the TV off.

“Yes, he does!” I said incredulously.

“I-is that Joe you’re talking to now?” she asked hesitantly. I nodded to her.

“L-let me talk to him”, she said. I nodded, handing the phone to her, then grabbed my keys as I headed out of the door to give them privacy.

At first I thought about what I had done, but I knew they both had to get this out in the open and regardless if it was forced by me or never done, I’d rather it be forced. They deserved to be happy. Then, on the other hand, I decided not to just sit outside the door.

I thought of seeing Nick and how awful I probably looked from the puffy, red eyes I more than likely had.

I went back into our dorm and grabbed my coat before heading out of the Dorm building once more.