Sequel: Four Years ›
Status: Completed. Read the sequel "Four Years" :)
My Saving Grace
Back To Life
Alex's POV
"Alexander, that is the second time I've received a call from school. Why do you keep acting out like this? What is going on with you?" My mom asked, shaking her head at me as I sat on the couch. I propped my feet up on the coffeetable and shrugged.
She sighed, taking a seat next to me, "Sweetheart, Rachel is gone. You've got to - "
"Mom! Shut up!" I screamed, getting up off the couch, and running upstairs. I ran into my room and slammed my door. I sunk down to the floor, placing my head in my hands.
A knock at the door startled me. I stood up and walked over to my bed. I threw myself onto it, groaning loudly into the pillow.
"Alex, can I come in?"
"Go away!" I yelled, throwing the pillow at the door. I was so fucking sick of everyone asking me what was wrong. I was just so fucking sick of moping around and practically drowning in my own self-pity.
I got up and walked over to my window. I pulled it open and stepped out onto the roof. I closed it, then walked over to the edge of the roof. I stared down at the ground, contemplating whether I should jump or not.
I walked over to the other side, looking for something to help break my fall. Nothing. I sighed, running my hand through my brown hair, tugging it slightly. I was gonna jump.
I took a deep breath in as I sat down on the edge, letting my feet dangle. I slowly pushed myself off the roof, feeling my heart race as I fell and hit the ground.
I dug my car keys out of my pocket and ran to my car parked on the street. I hopped in and started it immediately. I was going for a drive. I didn't know where. I didn't care where. I just needed to get away from here for awhile.
Rain started to fall all around me as I drove off down a familiar path. Her house. I was driving to her house. I wanted to turn away from her road, but I couldn't. I ended up driving by her house.
I backed up and parked. I stared at her house from across the street, feeling a lump rise it's way up my dry throat. My mouth was bone dry. I was gonna cry soon. Everything was in place.
I noticed Mr. Woods' car was gone. I was totally gonna regret this.
I drove into the driveway and parked it, slowly stepping out of my car. I hadn't been here since the day I found out she ran. My heart literally ached as I stepped on the pavement.
The house that I used to spend so much time in was now so foreign. It's like every memory we ever made here was washed away. It hurt so much.
I stood in front of the house, staring up at the windows that used to belong to her. I remembered every time I would have to crawl out of those windows to escape her father coming down the hall to check on his baby girl. Late night study sessions ended with a kiss as I stood on the roof.
I shook my now wet head and looked under the mat for the key. It was still there. Almost as if her father wished that his beautiful daughter would come back while he was away. It was just there in case. It was heartbreaking.
I unlocked the door and entered the house slowly. Just stepping into the house crushed me. I expected to hear her soft laughter float down the stairs and wrap around me. I traced my fingers along the banister where her soft hands once touched.
I walked up the stairs, following the path I always used to take right behind her. The hallway was the same, only a heavier air filled it. Soft laughter that once filled this hall was now gone. The music that would be blasting from her speakers was gone. Her hushed conversations with Kara that she thought Jack and I couldn't hear were gone. I wanted to turn and run down the stairs and out of the house. It was almost too much to handle.
But I kept going. I pushed open her bedroom door and peered in. Her bed was a mess, just like she always had it. She had always said what was the point in making a bed if you were just gonna mess it up later? Her closet doors were open, showing off a very vacant closet. Hangers laid on the floor from where she ripped the clothes off.
My feet dragged my body further into the room. The teddy bear I gave her on her twelfth birthday was sitting on her dresser by a picture of us. I picked it up and stared at it. This was taken only two months ago. There was a note stuck under the teddy bear. I picked it up slowly and read it.
Alexander William and Rachel Marie. Best friends til the day we die.
That was what did it. I fell to my knees and broke down crying, the lump pushing it's way all the way up my throat. I felt sick to my stomach. I was gonna throw up. I needed a drink so badly.
The life that this room once held was now gone. It was just a hollow shell of a room that held nothing but memories of better days.
How could she have done this? She just ripped out everyone's heart. I couldn't take it anymore.
I got up and ran out of the house quickly, slamming the front door shut behind me. I threw the keys in the potted plant as I flew by it. The rain was heavier now. It matched my mood fucking perfectly.
I hopped in my car and sped off down the road, not even knowing where I was going this time. I drove passed the end of town. I was now on some old back road. I wanted to find her so fucking badly. I contemplated going to find her or not.
I pulled over to the side of some old, muddy road and pulled my cellphone out of my jacket pocket. I dialed one of the numbers I had taken out of Kara's phone.
It was ringing. I listened to the ringing and the rain falling heavily like little bullets on the roof of my car. I shouldn't be out in this mess.
"Hello?" Someone answered. I heard laughter in the background. My breath hitched in my throat as I heard her voice.
"Hello? Is someone there?" She asked again.
"Rachel, what the fuck, come on! We've got to go to dinner!" A guys voice called. She was going out with someone. Did she really get over me that fast?
"Sorry, bro, coming!" She yelled, hanging up the phone.
I threw my phone against the passenger seat and watched as it bounced and hit the dashboard. I screamed as loud as I could and slammed my hands against the steering wheel, beginning to grip it so tightly that my knuckles turned white.
"Fuck!" I screamed again, kicking the side of my door. I ran my hand through my hair, gripping locks of it tightly. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
Tears rolled down my face faster than the rain rolled down the windshield. I was such a fucking mess right now. I stared at my dashboard, looking at the pictures I had of us on it.
I grabbed all of them and opened my glovebox. The note she had written for me fell out. I threw all the pictures into the glovebox, slammed it shut, then picked up the letter. I read it and reread it, tears spilling down my face.
The lines "I want to see your name in lights, Alex. Go out and make me and baby proud. I love you, Alex. Have a fantastic life." really stuck out to me.
I set the note down onto the passengers seat and stared straight ahead. I was gonna do what she said.
"I'm not gonna let you down, Rachel," I whispered softly, pulling off of the side of the road. I turned around and headed home. I had so much to do. I was not gonna let her and my child down. I was gonna show Rachel Marie Woods that I was strong enough to go on without her. I wasn't gonna give up.
I had something to live for again. My life was back.
"Alexander, that is the second time I've received a call from school. Why do you keep acting out like this? What is going on with you?" My mom asked, shaking her head at me as I sat on the couch. I propped my feet up on the coffeetable and shrugged.
She sighed, taking a seat next to me, "Sweetheart, Rachel is gone. You've got to - "
"Mom! Shut up!" I screamed, getting up off the couch, and running upstairs. I ran into my room and slammed my door. I sunk down to the floor, placing my head in my hands.
A knock at the door startled me. I stood up and walked over to my bed. I threw myself onto it, groaning loudly into the pillow.
"Alex, can I come in?"
"Go away!" I yelled, throwing the pillow at the door. I was so fucking sick of everyone asking me what was wrong. I was just so fucking sick of moping around and practically drowning in my own self-pity.
I got up and walked over to my window. I pulled it open and stepped out onto the roof. I closed it, then walked over to the edge of the roof. I stared down at the ground, contemplating whether I should jump or not.
I walked over to the other side, looking for something to help break my fall. Nothing. I sighed, running my hand through my brown hair, tugging it slightly. I was gonna jump.
I took a deep breath in as I sat down on the edge, letting my feet dangle. I slowly pushed myself off the roof, feeling my heart race as I fell and hit the ground.
I dug my car keys out of my pocket and ran to my car parked on the street. I hopped in and started it immediately. I was going for a drive. I didn't know where. I didn't care where. I just needed to get away from here for awhile.
Rain started to fall all around me as I drove off down a familiar path. Her house. I was driving to her house. I wanted to turn away from her road, but I couldn't. I ended up driving by her house.
I backed up and parked. I stared at her house from across the street, feeling a lump rise it's way up my dry throat. My mouth was bone dry. I was gonna cry soon. Everything was in place.
I noticed Mr. Woods' car was gone. I was totally gonna regret this.
I drove into the driveway and parked it, slowly stepping out of my car. I hadn't been here since the day I found out she ran. My heart literally ached as I stepped on the pavement.
The house that I used to spend so much time in was now so foreign. It's like every memory we ever made here was washed away. It hurt so much.
I stood in front of the house, staring up at the windows that used to belong to her. I remembered every time I would have to crawl out of those windows to escape her father coming down the hall to check on his baby girl. Late night study sessions ended with a kiss as I stood on the roof.
I shook my now wet head and looked under the mat for the key. It was still there. Almost as if her father wished that his beautiful daughter would come back while he was away. It was just there in case. It was heartbreaking.
I unlocked the door and entered the house slowly. Just stepping into the house crushed me. I expected to hear her soft laughter float down the stairs and wrap around me. I traced my fingers along the banister where her soft hands once touched.
I walked up the stairs, following the path I always used to take right behind her. The hallway was the same, only a heavier air filled it. Soft laughter that once filled this hall was now gone. The music that would be blasting from her speakers was gone. Her hushed conversations with Kara that she thought Jack and I couldn't hear were gone. I wanted to turn and run down the stairs and out of the house. It was almost too much to handle.
But I kept going. I pushed open her bedroom door and peered in. Her bed was a mess, just like she always had it. She had always said what was the point in making a bed if you were just gonna mess it up later? Her closet doors were open, showing off a very vacant closet. Hangers laid on the floor from where she ripped the clothes off.
My feet dragged my body further into the room. The teddy bear I gave her on her twelfth birthday was sitting on her dresser by a picture of us. I picked it up and stared at it. This was taken only two months ago. There was a note stuck under the teddy bear. I picked it up slowly and read it.
Alexander William and Rachel Marie. Best friends til the day we die.
That was what did it. I fell to my knees and broke down crying, the lump pushing it's way all the way up my throat. I felt sick to my stomach. I was gonna throw up. I needed a drink so badly.
The life that this room once held was now gone. It was just a hollow shell of a room that held nothing but memories of better days.
How could she have done this? She just ripped out everyone's heart. I couldn't take it anymore.
I got up and ran out of the house quickly, slamming the front door shut behind me. I threw the keys in the potted plant as I flew by it. The rain was heavier now. It matched my mood fucking perfectly.
I hopped in my car and sped off down the road, not even knowing where I was going this time. I drove passed the end of town. I was now on some old back road. I wanted to find her so fucking badly. I contemplated going to find her or not.
I pulled over to the side of some old, muddy road and pulled my cellphone out of my jacket pocket. I dialed one of the numbers I had taken out of Kara's phone.
It was ringing. I listened to the ringing and the rain falling heavily like little bullets on the roof of my car. I shouldn't be out in this mess.
"Hello?" Someone answered. I heard laughter in the background. My breath hitched in my throat as I heard her voice.
"Hello? Is someone there?" She asked again.
"Rachel, what the fuck, come on! We've got to go to dinner!" A guys voice called. She was going out with someone. Did she really get over me that fast?
"Sorry, bro, coming!" She yelled, hanging up the phone.
I threw my phone against the passenger seat and watched as it bounced and hit the dashboard. I screamed as loud as I could and slammed my hands against the steering wheel, beginning to grip it so tightly that my knuckles turned white.
"Fuck!" I screamed again, kicking the side of my door. I ran my hand through my hair, gripping locks of it tightly. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
Tears rolled down my face faster than the rain rolled down the windshield. I was such a fucking mess right now. I stared at my dashboard, looking at the pictures I had of us on it.
I grabbed all of them and opened my glovebox. The note she had written for me fell out. I threw all the pictures into the glovebox, slammed it shut, then picked up the letter. I read it and reread it, tears spilling down my face.
The lines "I want to see your name in lights, Alex. Go out and make me and baby proud. I love you, Alex. Have a fantastic life." really stuck out to me.
I set the note down onto the passengers seat and stared straight ahead. I was gonna do what she said.
"I'm not gonna let you down, Rachel," I whispered softly, pulling off of the side of the road. I turned around and headed home. I had so much to do. I was not gonna let her and my child down. I was gonna show Rachel Marie Woods that I was strong enough to go on without her. I wasn't gonna give up.
I had something to live for again. My life was back.
♠ ♠ ♠
title credit://back to life - automatic loveletter. <3this song did definitely inspire this chapter so much. like, read these lyrics.
well okay. i know i haven't updated in forever. a lot has happened between then and now tho omg. my grandpa passed away christmas day, which is a big factor in why i haven't updated. i became super depressed and had severe writers block. so0o0o0o0o0. yeah. that's the bad side of this. :(:(
good news, is i've gotten replies from wentz. hahaheheeheohohoho.
i'll show you my two favorites that made me bawl. ok.
i'm a major dork.
:')
he's answered more, but those two are my absolute favorites. 'cause, you know, it's always nice being told thanks by your fucking hero. :')))))))))))))))))))))
yes, well, all sadness and excitement aside...i enjoy making gaskarth suffer. muaahhahahahah. seriously, this chapter is one of my favorites. and it was written in under an hour! bo0o0o0o0o0o0o0yah!!! which means ignore any typos ok. <.< i hope it's one of your favorites too. :)
rivals are insane
saving mel
tyffanicheyenne
I LOVE YOU! <3
did i do well!?
x.