Me or the Music?

Matt's POV

I couldn't imagine what Marie was feeling as she sat in the kitchen on a chair, one of the last pieces of furniture left, her eyes distant, not here. Her hands shook. Her legs tapped against the floor.

I took my phone from my pocket and walked to the hall, I couldn't go tonight, I couldn't leave her like this. I couldn't do that to her. I clicked on Brian's name and took a deep breath, hearing Marie's sobs from the other room.

"Hey man, you on your way over?" Brian answered quickly.

"Actually, man..." I took a breath "I'm not coming. Listen, you know I want to be there, you know that... Marie..."

"Matt?" Brian asked hastily "Is she ok? What's going on? Is she ok? Do we need to come?" He asked quickly.

"No... I don't... No." I shook my head, not hearing the door open beside me. "Her mom.. Her mom killed herself and.. I don't think I can go away tonight."

"Oh, man, I'm.. I'm sorry. Yah, don't worry about it. Want me to come over-"

"You're what?"

I turned beside me, where Marie stood, holding the doorjamb to steady herself "You're going."

"Marie I can't. I can't leave you like this." I shook my head.

"Don't let her say anything!" Brian yelled from the phone.

"I'll call you right back dude." I said in to the phone and hung up, placing it back in my pocket "Marie, I'm staying with you. Brian wants me to-"

"No, Matt. You're his best man... you told him you weren't coming, that's bullshit. You have to go." Her eyes focused on mine "I want you to. I will be ok... I was expecting this.. sort of." She shrugged "I knew she couldn't live without him. Now, please go? Please, you need to be there for Brian." She tugged at my arm "Please, you need to go... do it for me? Have fun for me?" She pleaded.

"Babe-"

"Don't. You need to go, you've been stuck up in here with me the past few months and it's killing you. I see it." She sighed "Please go."

"Marie, I can't leave you. You're breaking right here, in front of me. I love you."

"And I love you, Matt, that's why you need to go. I will be ok. It's not going to kill me to be alone for one night. If anything I can stay up all night and watch sad movies and cry by myself and not feel bad that you'd stay up with me." She laughed slightly "Call Brian back, and get your ass over there." She stood on her toes carefully and pecked my lips.

"Well... Ok. I'll drive you to the house first though." I put my arm around her and kissed her temple. We still hadn't conquered the whole car thing since the accident, since I barely ever let her out without me anyways.

"Ok." She smiled, holding my arm as we walked out of the house.

I piled my luggage in to the back of the SUV, hearing Marie mumbling under her breath from the front seat "You ok?" I asked.

"Fine." She quickly placed her purse down and smiled back at me "I love you."

I smiled and shook my head, she was definitely hiding the fact she was not going to be ok. I quickly took my phone out and shot Jackie a text, asking her to check in on Marie tonight. I know she would figure it out but I didn't care, she needed to be checked on. The first night, in our new house, without me, and with this tragedy. I felt like shit for not staying, but I knew it would cause so much more trouble if I insisted on staying.

I drove in silence, well not completely, Marie had turned the radio on to a local rock station. She quietly hummed along with each song, her voice faltering now and then. I took her hand in mine, realizing how badly she was shaking. Her eyes were dry though, but her body shook. Once again she had probably drank too much coffee, like she had been doing way too often lately.

"I can't wait." She smiled, speaking suddenly, as we pulled in to our new driveway. "For you to be home... so we can enjoy this together." She looked over at me, leaning towards my lips "I love you... and I want you to have fun baby."

"I will, but I'm going to call you and check in ok? And I want you to call me if anything happens ok?" I asked, holding her chin in my hands as she nodded "I love you so much and I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I promise." She smiled and pecked my cheek, I looked at her confused "What?"

"That's all I get?" I fake pouted "I'm leaving for the night and I get a cheek kiss?"

She laughed and pressed her lips to mine. I started to deepen the kiss but she pulled away "You'll be late, Matt, go. I love you. Tell Brian I love him and congrats, and have fun please?"

"I will." I smiled as she got out of the car, her ass catching my eye. She was wearing short shorts and a sweater, I think being afraid of losing her was making me realize exactly what I had in my hands...

And I wasn't losing her.