Guilty Pleasure

You know one of those nights, where you wait patiently at the bar and a lot of guys offer you drink and you just accept and smile. Then you kind of grew tired of waiting so you flash your fake I.D. and order a Tequila or a Vodka or at least a 'Sex on the beach'

Well for me it was one of those nights. Yes, it happened to me a lot of times so why aren't I used to it?

Half an hour ago; Queen, Rainbow and I walked into Angels and Kings, feeling very pretty. I know it may sound conceited but most the time I never really felt pretty if Queen and Rainbow's with me. I mean for goodness sake they look like Supermodelsonly shorter

Uh-oh. I slipped. Don't tell them please, they'll totally feel bad or something like that and I don't want that to happen. I sighed. I asked the bartender to give me another tequila. God, what's taking him so long? I drank the Tequila. Suddenly I saw Queen walking towards me.

"Hey babe, you doing great?" She smiled.

"Yeah, definitely" Partly true.

"Y'know if you got tired of waiting for them, we could always look for a guy good in-" I cutted her off.

"Queen, ew! Stop it, it gross and I thought you want Michael?" I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Yeah, I want Michael, it's just that he won't like me" I looked at her like she was crazy or something

"You are seriously and utterly crazy! Have you seen the guys looked at you? Seriously." I shook my head.

"Fine, fine. I'll just go dance somewhere. Look for me, okay?" I nodded.

I faced the bartender and he smiled.

"Another Tequila for the fine lady?" He smiled.

"Yes please." I looked down at my lap.

"So, what's your story?" The bartender gave me my drink.

"Oh nothing, just waiting formy ex boyfriend an old friend." I'm starting to feel that this guy is flirting with me.

"Oh." He served me another drink. I looked at him, confusion was swimming in my eyes.

"You look like you needed a drink, don't worry it's on the house."

"Thanks." I smiled at him. He instantly went away. I drank my Tequila and the drink that the guy gave me. This is going to be a long night

6 beers, 8 Tequilas and 2 vodkas later (equivalent into two hours)
He's still not here. I'm starting to give up and I'm drunk.

"Summer?" I looked around and sawmy William there

"Willy Billy! You came!" I slurred. I stood up from the stool and stumbled my way William.

"You're drunk." He looked at me.

"I'm not drunk. I'm completely and 100% sober!" I grinned at him.

"Seat down." He guided me toward the nearest stool.

"No! I need to tell you something" I shouted. I walked or more like stumbled my way to the Smokers area. I looked back and saw William following me.

When we got outside. I looked at the view and I sighed.

"I used to take pictures of lights like these, back in England or at least when I'm sad which is most of time." I looked at him, The look on his face held confusion, anger and probably pity.

"What do you want?" He looked into my eyes and I flinched.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked.

"Partly yes, Partly no." He said.

"Why?" It came out more like a demand rather than a question.

"Because you left me Summer, you left me all alone in my apartment. You made me think that you love me. Now I don't know. Maybe your like them. I don't really know what to do Summer. You broke my heart, shut us out in your life and you left without a note." He looked at the city lights.

"I have to leave William, If I didn't then Mom would do anything to stop our relationship. She wants me to be doctor or a lawyer at least, but I wanted to be a musician or an artist but you know, mom. They gave me a chance and that is England. I have to go to England. I have to chase my dreams and your part of my dreams. then again my mom hates our relationship. She did everything to stop it. You have to believe me. If I could stay here in Chicago, I would but I couldn't." by now I was crying, I can't believe that I can still speak straight while crying. I continued.

"She threatened me if I didn't end it with you, she would. And I could only imagine what she's doing so I had to do it. She already hates me since I was kid and you know my needs William. I'm sorry. I didn't really mean to hurt you. I love you, William. There wasn't a day that I wasn't thinking of you. I wish I could take it all back and never let that happen. I'm so sorry William, I really am. I love you so much.. Take me back please." I sobbed. I couldn't take it anymore. All of the emotions came pouring out once.

"Summer, you could have done something. If you really love me. You would have fought for me, for us! I thought we would last forever?! You were the one who told me that but look you were the one who also broke it!" He looked at me with anger swimming in his eyes. He continued

"I was a mess! I was so sad to the point that Sisky Biz, Mike, Chizzy and Butcher are starting to thing that I needed to see a shrink! Besides, you cheated on me! Your already engaged and you lied to me countless of times!" I instantly sobered up, when I heard this.

"I did no such thing! I am not engaged, I didn't lie to you and I did not cheat on you!" Then suddenly it came crashing down... Mom.

"God! I seriously hate my Mom! I fucking hate you Matilda Williams! I hope you fucking rot in hell!" I screamed. William looked at me funny.

"I know you hated her since the beginning but I never thought that it was this bad." He chuckled.

"Well now you know, I mean try being hated for what you didn't do. It wasn't my fault that she was such a whore-y slut and she got pregnant with me! How stupid can she get she forgot to take her pill and never gave my dad a condom?! It wasn't my fault that her parents disowned her because she got pregnant! And it wasn't my fucking fault that she got pregnant with some other man and-" I cutted myself off.

Uh-oh.

"You were a mistake?" William's eyes softened.

"Yeah. That's why my dad married my mom. Stupid right? Wait I'm not baiting you to love me back, okay?" I laughed. Eh, I think I'm still drunk.

"I know. It's okay." He smiled. Oh how I miss that smile of his.

We remained silent for a few minutes.

"So where do we stand?" I asked.

"Let's just be friends. For now at least." He smiled.

"Okay, William." I hugged him. at least those we were friends better that nothing.

"Let's head inside." I said.

"Wait." He murmured.

I looked at him.

"You know what I don't understand is that we gave up before we gave it a chance, long distance relationship and fighting for what we love, I mean" He looked at me.

"I'm sorry. We'll give it a try next time,if there is a next time" I said jokingly. Did you know that jokes are half meant or sometimes true.

We went inside and drank. I saw Mike talking to Rainbow and having a good time. I smiled at the two they would make a great couple, if only Mike wasn't angry at me...
At the corner of my eye I saw Adam glaring at me. I went to the bartender and ordered a beer. He handed me one and went to Adam.

"What do you want?" He was still glaring at me.

"I'm sorry!" I shouted over the blaring music. I could feel the tears coming in again.

"I'm sorry, I broke your best friend's heart! I really am. I have too. I need too." I cried. Adam's eyes softened and hugged me.

"Shh. don't cry. I'll try to understand. Well once you explain it to me so I guess truce for now." He smiled.

"Okay. But does this mean I could call you Sisky Biz now?" I asked.
He laughed and nodded his haed.

"But not the previous nicknames, I'll let you call me that once you explained." I hugged him.

I smiled at him and I drank my almost empty beer and went to find Queen and Rainbow.

I bumped into someone and looked up. It was William.

"You looking for Queen and Rainbow?" He shouted. I nodded at him.

"Queen left.. with Michael and as for Rainbow, her and Mike are playing tonsil hockey so if you..." He raised his eyebrows. I blushed.

"Tell Rainbow, I went home. Thanks."I walked away but he stopped me.

"I'll take you home" My heart skipped a beat.

"Okay."

We went outside and hailed a cab. I mumbled my address and then I instantly fell asleep in WIlliam's comfy, bony shoulder. I felt him laugh.

I was being woken up by a William. He was shaking me.

"Summer, Summer. Wake up you're home." He said. I looked outside and indeed I am home. As I reached for my money, William's hand stopped me.

"I'll pay, period." He said. I sighed. We went out the cab and he walked me to the door.

"Thanks." I kissed his cheek. I hope that was okay.

"Welcome' He blushed.

As I was about to open the door, William held my hand.

"Yes?" I looked at him, hoping that he would tell me that he loves me and wants to take me back.

"I forgot to tell you, You look beautiful, You always look beautiful." He tucked a strand of my hair and without knowing he kissed me on the lips. I kissed back. His hand circled my waist while I wrapped my arms around his neck. We pulled away. He smiled at me and I blushed.

"See you soon." He started to walk away.

"William, wait!" I shouted. He looked at me.

"Stay with me, tonight."I said hopefully. He nodded.

I lead him to my room and removed my heels. I grabbed a towel and looked at him.

"Make yourself at home" I said. He removed his jeans and removed his polo. I handed him a shirt.

"This is my shirt." He looked amused.

"Yeah, I kept it. It was one of the things that reminded me of you. That shirt made me hold on, I always sleep on it until one day it didn't smelled like you. It smelled more like me. so I stopped wearing it. I would just hug it every night." I blushed. What is up with word vomit tonight?

He just smiled and wore it. I went to the bathroom and did my usual night routine. After my night routine. I saw William asleep at my bed. I smiled I went to bed and layed down beside him.

"I love you William Beckett. Don't leave me." I murmured.

"Don' worry I won't leave you, you're too beautiful to be left alone. I love you too." He murmured. I blushed that was so embarrassing. He was suppose to be asleep.

He shifted and faced me.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." I whispered back and with that I fell asleep in the arms of William Eugene Beckett Jr.

You know one of those nights when you feel so down and then with a simple explanation it suddenly goes alright, not totally fine but it's getting straight. Well I guess tonight in of those nights.There was so much words left unsaid, maybe next time, I'll tell him this unsaid words.