Ready For Your Love

"Here, you have the rest of my pizza. I'm about to blow up." I say, while pushing the box with the rest of my pizza to Frank.

"What, you think I'm a garbage can or something? I can't see, let alone eat even more pizza." Frank sighs. I laugh, grab a slice and push it into his face.

"You're looking at it right now!" I laugh.

"No, I'm not. My eyes are closed, if they weren't I'd get cheese in my eye." He replies.

"Damn, no fair." I say and put the now pretty fucked up slice back in the box.

"You fancy a movie?" Frank asks as he gets up. I shrug, then nod.

"Sure" I smile. I get up and start cleaning up our dining mess while Frank rolls down the shutters and puts the dvd he had 'stolen' into the player.
I lay my now sleeping Kayla in her buggy, making sure she lies there comfy.
Frank moves the bed and makes sure you can watch the movie from there without forcing anything.
I grab drinks and chips; just in case we get a craving for it although we're stuffed, and put them next to the bed.
Both getting situated on the bed during the legal shit that you can't skip, Frank snakes his arms around me, while I lay in front of him, back against his thigh; kind of spooning on my own and hugging his arm, my head on his chest. It looks weird, and it's hard to imagine, but it's incredibly comfortable.

Time elapse

Frank and I silently laugh as another horror-cliché passes the screen. I love this movie, but still, it sure has its retarded parts.

I feel myself getting tired, so I turn to Frank to ask if he wants some coffee too.
I wouldn't get an answer anyway, because the cutie had fallen asleep.
I glance at my other cutie; she's still fast asleep too. I cuddle into Frank and I suddenly realize how much I missed this all. I yawn.

I still love my Frankie.

Time elapse
I sigh, as my reflection in the mirror is proof of how messy my hair had become through the night. I peek into the other room to see both my angels still sleeping. Time for me to grab a quick shower and go to the bakery's down the street.

About 50 minutes later, there's a pretty broad breakfast ready on the counter. I shove a few things on the floor aside, walk over to the closet and take out a foldable table. I normally don't use it, because it's just Kayla and me and I'm too lazy to clean it three times per day, so I simply don't use it. I set the table, put the breakfast on it and admire my 'hard' work for a while. I want to put the breakfast to a use, but not on my own, and I don't want to wake Frankie either. He's gorgeous when he's asleep.

I sit down on the bed, push a lock of hair out of the boy's face. He amazes me. And he manages to amaze me every single time; over and over again.

I remember the day we first met. It was the year of 2000, and only the second time I had ever been to America. My first visit was at the young age of 2, on holiday with my family. This second time was 16 years later, running away from my family to hide from certain problems.

Frank had been in a very drunk state; with a very drunk, and driving Gerard. I had just left the airport and due to the lack of cabs for some reason; I was walking to my hotel. Or more like wandering around, seen as I had not a single clue of where my hotel was. The boys started somewhat 'flirting', then drove onto the sidewalk, nearly killing me. I, being an impulsive 18-year old, had gotten into the car and had driven myself into lots of trouble with those two wasted kids. Frank had seemed like an amazingly cool kid, but my interest lay more on Gerard's side. He intrigued me.

Now, that is when we first met for me.

This is going to sound weird, but starting from when I landed, I would live under a fake ID and the name of Christine Blaken for about 2 years, for multiple reasons. No one knows that Christine and Lynn make the same person, except for Frank. Certain things, important things that still influence us today, had happened between 'Christine' and Frank.

The first time we met as Frank and Lynn, was in 2004, back when I sang in Simple Plan. I think it was at an after party or something; I don't remember very well, because I was extremely drunk. That night would be one of the last nights I would ever get drunk again, by the way. This second time that we 'first' met, Frank had been really drunk too. It seems like the kid only meets me when he's drunk. I had to be careful to hide the fact that I already knew the guys, which is very, very hard when you're as wasted as I was that night and extremely happy to see the guys you spent 2 years with, but had to leave very sudden, for reasons I might explain later. That, too, is a long story.

Frank and I have a special bond, and lots of people don't approve of it. Most likely because they're jealous.

We've been through a lot together, even with me disappearing for 2 years, then both being on a different tour and stuff. We kind of ---

"Hey, day dreamer. Whatcha thinking about?" Frank asks, prodding me. I never noticed him waking up? Wow, I guess I must have been real caught up in my train of thoughts.

"About us through the years, sleeping beauty." He nods, but doesn't say anything. Then he notices the breakfast.

"Wow, you've been up for a while already?" He laughs.

"Yeah." I nod. "This might just be one of the first times Kayla isn't awake yet."

"You should have taken an advantage!" Frank says.

"I did." I laugh. "I made breakfast, now use it!" Frank laughs too and sits down at the table. He just looks at the food and sighs.

"What?" I ask, as I sit down as well. Frank pouts.

"I don't know what to pick, it seems ages ago since I had a breakfast like this!"

"Haha, same here, kiddo." I reply, pretty much taking one of each kind of coffeecake, some fruit, a toast and some eggs. Frank stares at me wide-eyed.

"You must be starving" He says surprised. I laugh.

"No, like I said, it's just been ages since I've had a wide breakfast, or since I've been in a hotel. How come it's been ages for you, you guys stay at hotels pretty frequently ?" I ask, then taking a bite from an éclair.

"Yeah; but for some stupid reason we had to sleep in our bus for like, the last month or something. I don't know why." Frank answers, finally starting to take a few pieces of fruit, being really careful.

"Frank, doll, for starters, your bus is huge and you have all the time of the world on there, as if you can't have a huge breakfast in it. Second, the breakfast does not bite, in fact, you have to bite it." I say, while cocking an eyebrow at the boy's actions. He stares at me wide-eyed, as if he's a 5-year old and I just caught him taking cookies after I had told him he couldn't have any. He keeps quiet, although I had expected some sarcastic comeback.

After a short minute of silence and eating, Frank looks up at me. "Soo, you were thinking about us earlier, about which part of our history were you thinking when I disturbed you?" He looks at me curiously.

"I was thinking about how we've been through a lot together, and that many people don't like our relationship."

"They're just jealous" Frank quickly says. I nod. Frank sometimes still believes I have trouble with people's judgements. I have already taken peace with the closed-mind mass. They can be as ignorant as they want to be, they won't pull me into it.

"I dreamt about us. You know what 'us' I mean." Frank whispers. I put my head down. I know very well which us he means.

"The same part as always?" I whisper back. Frank slightly nods.

"I just wish we would have kept going." He looks at me.

"I know, babe. It's weird how that dickhead got replaced by the new Eyeball Records head, like a week or something after." I'm still whispering, I can't help it. It seems that all of a sudden my voice refuses to actually talk, and I think Frank's voice is doing the same.

"I can't help it, Lynn. I can't help the way I feel, so I can't make the dreams go away." Frank starts. His voice trembles. "I loved you so much. You were the best I ever had. Sometimes I want that fucking day to be a fucking nightmare so bad, that I even start to believe it was. I love Jamia, I really do, but I can't love her with all my heart, because you still own a piece of it. You know that I would have picked you that day. And I'd still pick you. It was horrible that the ass made me pick between you or the band. The band's my life, but you were my everything. I still don't regret locking us into that room, although your decision to break up was one of the worst things that happened to me. To be honest, it feels like yesterday, I can still hear the guys banging on the door, the head of the company shouting so damn loud, and it still hurts like it was yesterday. When I think about it, I should have picked you. My Chem would have been picked up by some other label." Frank's voice dies for a moment.

"But no label would have suited the band. Plus, you would have picked a girl before the band, that wouldn't work too well for the guys." I whisper. I don't want to hurt him, but we both know that it's true. Frank nods, then continues.

"I still can't believe he made me pick, just because he had a crush on you too." A silence follows, because the cold truth had been thrown on the table. That was the hardest part. We were forced apart, no matter how much we loved each other.
"But we somehow moved on. And look at us now. I'm getting married, you have a daughter and got cheated on." Frank wipes away a tear that had escaped from his eye.
"I still love you, you know that? And I always will. I don't mind loving you either. I know that isn't very right when I'm getting married to an other girl, but Jamia said she's okay with it. Jamia told me you're one of her best friends, she'll always be there for you, even though you're the girl her fiancé can't get out of his head. She knows I'm happy with her, and that it's unfair how we got driven apart, she understands that I still love you. She's taken peace with it, and that's one of the many reasons why she's so amazing." Frank sighs, softly smiles and ends his speech that way.

"I still love you too, you have no idea." is all I can say.

We both finish our breakfast in silence. We get up, clear the table, put the used cutlery and all that jazz in the sink and put the cleaned up table back in the closet. After the sink's filled with water, we do the dishes. We still haven't said a word. When everything's cleaned up, we turn to each other. Before you could even blink my arms were around Frank's neck, his around my waist and our lips attached. I don't know how much later, but Kayla wakes up and lets out a giggle. We part our lips but stay in each other's embrace.

"I know he's my best friend and all, but I hate Gerard for what he did to you."