To Live Her Life

Oceané woke up in the room alone, just like the last time. Since she was brought there, she hasn't dared to leave it unless she needed to. When she woke up around dinner time yesterday she continued to stay in bed, sitting there or laying down, just thinking. That is until she needed the bathroom, thus case she snuck like a spy would around the deserted house. No one was there still, at least not in the living room. For this she was grateful. As the day drew on and the night had long since set in, a rustling at the door came. She backed up, scared, against the wall before jumping off of the bed and crawling underneath it. She took a blanket quickly from off the top and pushed herself flush against the wall underneath. Two male voices and sets of boots moved around the room before eventually they stopped and snores in turn took over. What scared her most was that neither of the two were Youri; each of their voices sounded different, not like his did to her. She was in this all alone.

Youri came in a while after that and began yelling as he saw his clearly empty bed. He woke up the “voices” (as Oceané referred to them as) with his angry screams and then there were three arguing ones coming from elsewhere in the small room. Youri just wanted to know where she went, but neither Erik nor Lev had seen her when they came in.

It was then that she decided to crawl out of the safe place, from underneath the bed. Since Youri was there, her hearing his voice that is, all the fright left her shaking and sleepy body. Jaws dropped and talking resumed while Youri sighed in relief and grabbed her, pulling her quickly completely from underneath the bed and upwards off of the floor, hugging her tiny body tightly to his chest. He actually thought that someone had gotten in and taken her...or done something to her. He was more than relieved upon seeing her innocent looking face and body unharmed.

Introductions were made, food was eaten and then Youri fell asleep. Oceané decided to clean up around the messy room since no one else was awake then, for some odd unknown reason and then later she herself fell asleep on the floor.

Someone had to have moved her at some point in time because she woke up this particular morning, on the soft plush and snugly bed, covers and blanket encircled her sweaty body. It was Erik who had done so; Youri woke up to having her hair in his face and her body flush up against his side. Youri moved carefully around and over top of her, not wanting to move in the first place as he was content in between her body and the cool wall behind his back, to leave for his next work shift in the shop. Hence, this is where they are now...her waking up alone...like the previous time since she had been at the “base.”

Around noon, Youri walked back to the apartment. Greedily wiping at the sweat, dirt and grease that had been left all over tan skinned arms and around his eyes and face. Oceané sat cross legged on the floor, her abaya on once again over the clothes Youri had given her the day before. She found a small bouncy ball on one of the dressers which she let drop to the floor, watching giddily as it flew upwards in the air. To her this was amusing, she after all had never ever seen such a thing; right now it was the funnest toy in the world. Youri stopped before reaching for the door knob, hearing giggles and the soft sounding Arabic language coming from said giddy girl.

“Occceeeeaaaannnnéeee” His voice taunted from the other side. The giggles stopped as did all sound but a slight thud noise on the wood. Cracking the door and peaking his head in a small red and black checkered bouncy ball rolled away from her body and underneath Erik's bed. Her face looked pale as if she had seen a ghost; a semi smile still never left though. She was “caught” red handed, or would have been if she was actually doing something bad. He opened the door fully and shook his head playfully at the sight of what was going on inside. Bending down he grabbed the ball from underneath the bed and bounced it twice, then after placing it in her hand he sat next to her on the floor.

Oceané sat still, wondering what was going to happen next. Youri had sat down beside her and well...he was just there. Usually by now he would have said something, just by habit, despite knowing it would do no good. Now, he sat. Still, calm. His feet and legs out in front of his body as his back rest against the bed. She could tell something was wrong by the way he stared down at his hands and sighed deeply, almost as a groan, every so often.

Oceané's eyes never left his body, well the side of his face really. She was concerned, she had never seen him “distraught” before. See him act as he was now, before. And in many more ways than one, it concerned her. She didn't know if it were a bed mood, which had never before ended up well in the end for her, or if it was something about her. He couldn't just come out and say it, she couldn't just ask him about it either.

They remained thinking in two different worlds.

As Youri suddenly jerked and made himself stand, not expecting it, Oceané shrieked suddenly and flinched. She ended up trying to hide her embarrassment when he offered her his outstretched hand while looking at her oddly. Oddly amused.

-

Youri had to take Oceané to see the commander. He had refused to see Youri before because she hadn't been with him that first night, last night...or rather yesterday morning. It was still dark at the time he went then.

He regretted his decision not to take her, he had since gotten punished with extra “chores” and extra work hours for two weeks minimum. But this was also only after he explained why he hadn't brought her. It should have been much worse and it would have been if not for one gracious attribute. The commander surprisingly was a very understanding man, he fully agreed with the fact that she needed sleep from exhaustion as did he, though Youri still disobeyed orders. Strict orders. Hence the punishment. It wasn't as bad as it could be, yet it still meant that Oceané would be left alone for more, longer periods of time from now until the end of his punishment. Two weeks from now. The only times he would be around her for the time being were while she was sleeping in the very early morning hours. Then he would go to sleep as well, how was he supposed to gain her trust if he were never there for her?

And it is only a matter of time before everyone finds out that she is here, spending all her time in an apartment room. Of more important concern, were those already bunking with him in the apartment.
They hadn't seen her, heard her or knew of her but once they do she probably wouldn't be safe anymore. She couldn't stay in that room forever and they would certainly try to get in, or lay in wait for her to have no choice but to come out.

Youri pushed the thoughts from his mind as they left hand in hand from the building entirely. Outside was much cooler than expected, after all they were in the mountains. Oceané shook like a leaf; not having been ready for, nor ever experiencing the cold weather before. However the cold was an ordinary occurrence for this part of Saudi Arabia. Although she was actually used to the more desert parts; the heat, dry air, sweltering sun, soft breezes that did nothing for a person. Here was a 180, opposite spin for what she was accustomed to. Cold, damp, humid at times but rainy, and cloudy almost all the time.

Though these conditions, the colder, mountainous region, were allies to the Ukrainian military as well as those who joined them and will be in the future, within just a matter of time. Coverage gave them the upper hand in the situation since they were hidden and not easily traceable while the “enemies” of Saudi military forces, were.

The rain was light, only sprinkles. Yet to Oceané it was like a downpour. Without really caring about what she thought, Youri pulled her to him and into his arms for a sense of warmth that he knew she needed. Shocked at first, her arms continued limp at her sides as her face was forcibly buried in his own side. She finally loosened up wit time and wrapped her arms loosely around his waist. Although that was only as the rain began falling harder, pelting her thin skin like needles would; pinching and stinging upon impact.

From there they walked to the commanders cabin, or actually it was a half destroyed home, it was perfect for him and only him. Large and spacious, it had even been deserted before the Ukrainian military arrived, the building had long since been forgotten by any Arabic citizen... for a very unknown reason.

Oceané knew however what it was, just by the marking upon the top of the outer doors frame.

She had only heard stories from her brothers, but nevertheless, each one put nightmares in her mind and sent shivers down her spine. It was painted on (the marking) with a mixture of clay, a solvent , white colored sealer and tint of red coloring...blood. She had never seen one before but the swirls and long, bold, thick lines made her stop and stare at the mark. It was hard to explain thing the way her brothers had told her originally, however the people who made those markings were enemies of her country. The people who lived in these buildings with the marking were enemies; even though they were technically her own people.

“...التمرد" She muttered to herself, that is what they were referred to as...the rebellion.

Youri stared at her frozen, staring form. Looking from her to the building she was looking at intently.

From what Oceané's brothers had told her, these people took their own people and killed them. Tortured them and raped them for no reason, just for their own fun and “enjoyment.” The Saudi military was trying to find these and kill them or in the least, take them into custody before this turn of events making the search take a seat on the back burner for the time being.

Even before Ukraine invaded, a hushed civil war was taking place within her own county.

“що?” (What?) His voice was rough and questioning. She ripped herself away from Youri, stepping backwards slowly, fearfully. She gulped visibly, was wide eyed and her body was getting more and more damp by the passing seconds standing in the rain. “Oceané, що-?” She stepped back further as Youri tried to grab her. There was no way she was going to let him take her inside there, he probably thought she was so naïve...that she didn't know or have a clue what was inside.

" الله ، ينبغي أن يكون على علم ، أنا... الأول ينبغي أن يكون" (God, I should have known... I should have-) She started mumbling frantically, tears springing to her eyes. Youri came closer and closer, quicker than she could step backwards. She did only what she could... she ran.

He was taking her there to let her be tortured, she thought she trusted him. That she could trust him. But obviously that wasn't true...

He didn't look like someone who would be part of the rebellion, not that he could by not being Arabic in the first place. She was just completely confused. She thought he was apart of some military...but maybe, just maybe she was wrong she thought to herself. Had she judged him wrong? Was he one of the men her brothers had warned her of, had told her were against her country?

Youri watched her run away from him, he just stood there thinking...why would she run in the first place? Although still, he had to get her before she was killed, before she was shot for being Arabic and running, trying to get away.

The muddy ground was slippery, which was an advantage to him more than anything, his boots had traction while her bare feet had none at all. Once catching up to her, he was able to grab her flailing body. He just listened, while struggling with her body that was now flush against his chest. She was trying to pry his hands off as she spoke, as she sobbed and hunched over in emotional distress.

من فضلك ، من فضلك أنا لا أميل ، وأعدكم أن تفعل أي شيء فقط لا تقتلني... أنا آسف يوري من" فضلك! من فضلك لا أميل... لم أكن أقصد ، وأنا متعود أن يكون سيئا مرة أخرى فقط لا تأخذني في هناك. لا أميل السماح لهم يصب لي من فضلك لا.” Was all that was heard over and over, she yelled on and on, virtually pleading with him not to take her in there, not to let them hurt her and kill her. It was all she could do as he picked her up and made her go inside. She screamed frantically. Hitting, shoving and trying to make her body detach from his own but it was of no use.

Youri was worried and concerned for her, he had never seen her act as she was currently. All the screaming and flailing around. There was something that she was thinking, something she knew that he didn't... and probably never would. Her screaming voice echoed through the concrete walled building, the commanders house/ office. Dirt lined the floor and cobwebs flowed in every imaginable direction overhead in the corners and against the cold cement walls.

“зупинити його!” (Stop it!) Youri screamed commandingly back over top her own voice while shaking her frail body somewhat back and forth. She seemed to cower and all she thought about was what they were going to do to her. How they would torture her, and how much worse it would be from the typical beating that her father put upon her.

How incredibly worse it would be...

“що біс візьми, відбувається тут Юрію?” (What the hell is going on out here Youri!?) The commander yelled when he appeared in sight of the two younger “teenagers.”

“Я не знаю, вона тільки почала безконтрольного...” (I don't know she just started freaking out...) The commander simply responded to his words by opening a door to their left side.

“покласти її в” (Put her in..) The commander spoke in monotone. Youri wasn't about to disobey orders now. After all, he couldn't risk it. So Youri did as he was told.

Oceané shook in Youri's arms, when she was sat down in the cold dark room things only got worse. The real realizations sat in then, especially when Youri walked away leaving her there alone. She sobbed asking for him not 'to leave me.' All it got out of him was a brief glance back in her direction as the commander yelled at him to 'hurry it up, I don't have all day kid.'

He would never tell anyone but it shattered his heart having to leave her there. Seeing her tear covered face, the tears that had yet to spill over in her eyes, how she made herself into a ball looking form with her knees tucked to her chin while she sat against the wall where he sat her down, how the water pooled around her body from her soaked through clothes and skin. Everything about her melted him inside.

But then the heavy steel door was put into place, shut and locked. He could hear her crying inside as he walked away, behind the commander into his “office” room. And things only gotten worse.