Its Complicated

The morning seemed to drag on. I reluctantly got up and walked outside my room. It was probably around 4oclock and my hair was still a mess, and I was still in my pajamas; a simple white tank and shorts. I walked emotionless down the stairs and straight to the kitchen. I suddenly felt sick like I didn’t want to eat even though I knew I was starving. I sighed and walked outside in my pajamas and sat down on my porch swing. Tears filled my eyes as memories of me and he played in my mind. It was during spring and the air was filled with the scent of pine. We were swinging on my porch swing. We were cuddled up beside each other holding hands. I’m laughing while he’s smiling at me. I remember how he kissed me so softly and whispered “I love you so much Raine I’ll never go away.” I felt tear drops falling off my face. I whispered to myself “If you love me so much… then why…why did you go away?” I laughed at how pitiful I was being. Never before have I imagined myself crying over a guy. Back then before I met him, I never even thought of being in love, or crying because that person didn’t love me back anymore. I laughed again trying to remember what changed? But I know what changed, it was him, he walked into my life.

It was the starting of my sophomore year at Bellevue High School and I was pumped. I was ready for new classes, new chances, clubs, and sports! I was wearing a baby blue blouse and white shorts. My hair long, flowing down my back, with my white headband on. I was rushing through the halls trying to find my friends to see if we had any classes. In the process of running through everyone I manage to bump into someone. Well really it was more like a collision, causing me to fall back. I landed on my butt; embarrassed and a bit pissed I look up to see who was in my way. It was a guy, probably an upper classmen. He was Asian and pretty tall, he wasn’t scrawny, he was actually pretty built. His hair was a medium length spiked up in some parts. He looked down at me and smiled squatting down helping me up. The moment our hands touch, I felt something odd. It was like a spark. I shook my head as I got up trying to shake the feeling away. “I'm sorry” I muttered staring at him. He smiled and shook his head “No problem, catch you later” he simply said walking off. I stared at the empty place where he stood. Reality snapped back when the bell sounded off.

Disappointed I rushed off to my class, I really wanted to meet with my friends. I sighed as I walked unknowingly of who is in my class. I entered my first block, English AP, I was pretty smart and had a lot of upperclassmen classes, that is why it was mandatory for me to see if there were any chances of having classes with friends. I entered the room and looked around, not many people were in yet. I took a seat at the last row in the middle hear the window. I sat down, resting my head on my hand as I stared out the window. I heard bodies shifting in the room. Noticing that more students have arrived I scanned the room. I spotted no one I knew; my disappointment level was getting higher and higher. The classroom was almost full when suddenly someone rushed in as the bell rang. I looked and saw that same guy who I bumped into. My heart skipped a beat as I stared at him. Suddenly our eyes met as I quickly turned my head to the side. I could feel my face getting hot with embarrassment. I noticed that the only desk available was the desk right beside mine. All I could think about was don’t sit beside me, don’t sit beside me. I closed my eyes shut wishing even though I knew he would. I heard some shifting. I slowly turned my head to see him sitting there staring at the front. I studied his facial features; his narrow eyes, cute nose, and his perfect flawless skin. I stared in awed at him. Then suddenly he tilt his head towards me and smiled his perfect smile before he looked back up. I swear I must of died and went to heaven. What was wrong with me? I never felt like this before. Could It be love? No way! I’m not looking for love right now. Little did I know, love was what I found.