Love Among the Pizza Boxes

Okay Riku.
Breathe.
You can do this.
Oh, who am I kidding?
No. Bad Riku. You’re fine.
Just reach up… And knock on the door.
So I do. And I step back once or twice.
Breathe. You can do this.
What if… Oh, I don’t know…
Shut up, Constance. No one likes you.
Breathe.
And Shayla appears at the door, her eyes bright.
She leans against the frame of the door and kind of trips over her feet.
Shayla clears her throat. “Hey Riku.” She lets out a forced cough-laugh.
Oh God… What have I gotten myself into?
I smile easily at her. “Hey Shayla,” I say back.
“So… Would you like to come in?” She smiles and seems to light up the dimming dusk sky.
“Oh… Yeah. I knew that.”
I laugh nervously and go inside after she steps aside.
God. I feel so nervous.
Pull yourself together, man!
She laughs good-naturedly and says, “Well. This is my humble abode.”
The living room is fairly small with a couple of white couches settled onto the cherry wood floor. The light blue walls are cluttered with black and white photos and on the one brick wall hangs a painting of a droopy eyed cow.
Nice.
Okay…
Now.
Say something nice.
“Cows are cool.”
Well aren’t you suave.
I scratch at the back of my neck cause I’m nervous again.
Awesome sauce.
Shayla looks at the picture and laughs. “Yeah. His name is Bernard.”
Then there’s one of those lovely awkward silences.
“Hey. You know how to cook pasta?”
I blink.
Pizza Hut has pasta.
I’ve had to help make it before.
Sure, I know how to make pasta. You just stick it in a boiling pot of water until it isn’t crunchy, right?
“Uh- Maybe.”
That sounded intelligent. Not to mention infinitely helpful.
“Well then this’ll be a good learning experience.” Shayla pokes my nose and marches off to her kitchen which is right off the living room. “Come along, baby cakes. It’s time to make some yum yums.”
I don’t know which one to question: the nose poke, the ‘baby cakes’or the ‘yum yums’
I follow her into the kitchen as I ponder this.
“Hmmm. Baby cakes?” I ask her, trying to hide an amused smirk.
“Yup. You see, I’m very fond of pet names. You will see by the end of the night that you’ve been assigned to a few of them,” she says, all while holding a huge copper pot to her chest.
Quirky. Awesome. Quirky is better than boring.
“Alrighty then,” I laugh. “So. What can I do to help?”
“Well. First you can fill this thing with water.” She plops the pot down into my arms.
I stare at it for a second. Shrug. Go over to the sink and put the pot in it and flip the water on.
“Check.”
“Awesome.”
… She goes over to the sink, grabs the half-empty pot and heaves it onto the stove. She turns it on and the little flame comes to life underneath the pot.
“So. Now we wait for it to boil and yeah… So. What do you want to do while we’re waiting?” She hops up onto the countertop and sets her hands on either side of her.
I hop up next to her and do the same thing with my hands. Except one of ‘em accidentally touches hers'.
Crap.
So I panic. Lift my hand away from hers fast.
“Sorry.” I sound so awkward. So retarded.
Awesome sauce.
“Don’t sweat it.” She grins a silly little grin and puts her hand over mine.
Deer in the headlights. I blink.
“Well then… This is a pleasant surprise.”
She gives out a charming little laugh and says, “Well, we’re on a date aren’t we?”
“Oh, yeah, huh?” Then I let out a not-so-charming nervous laugh and scratch at the back of my neck.
“Forgot so soon? Tsk tsk… So. You never answered my question.”
“The question about what we’re gonna do while we wait?” I shrug. Smile a crooked smile.
I don’t like my crooked smile.
“No clue.”
She smiles back and then the smile morphs into a solicitous little scowl. She strokes her chin thoughtfully. “Well. We could talk… Maybe play patty cake? I dunno…”
“Patty cake it is, then.” I laugh a little and place my hands together in front of me. We’re playing patty cake. Of all things.
“Sweet.” She puts her hands out too. “You wanna start the chant thingy?”
“I kinda forgot the chant thingy.”
Which was true- last time I played patty cake was when I was like, six.
“Mmmkay… Well, do you remember the hand thing?”
I nod. “That much I remember.”
“Good.” She nods. “Y’all ready for this?”
I laugh. “Let’s get ready to rumba.”
Or is it rumble?
Who knows.
Who cares?
“Okey dokey… Patty cake. Patty cake. Baker’s man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can… Roll it… Knead it… Mark it with an… ‘R’… And put it in the oven for Riku and me!” She giggles a little and crinkles her nose. She’s blushing now.
Oh, how cute!
What the hell Riku?!
You sound like a girl.
Fridge you, Constance. No one likes you.
I want to shoot Constance in the non-existent face.
Fudge muffin in a fridge.
Now what do I do?
So I laugh a little. A stupid, not charming at all, extremely weird laugh.
My stomach is acting weird. It’s like, little wings are attacking the acidic walls of my innards.
I really don’t like it.
Yes you do, Riku.
Shut the fudge up, Constance.
I want to murder Constance.
No I don’t. Indirectly, I’d be killing myself. Wait no – I would be killing myself. I don’t wannna die.
I like life.
I like pasta.
I like Shayla.
The water is boiling now. Let’s focus on that. Not the thought that I just had.
I push myself from the counter and stare that the water as it bubbles.
I try and restrain a laugh. It doesn’t work.
So I’m standing there, watching the bubbles, and laughing like a retard.
I stop, clear my throat, and stare at the ground.
“Bubbles,” Shayla says incredulously and props her arm up on my shoulder.
I clear my throat again. “Uh – yeah.”
Bubbles.
BUBBLES.
She begins to laugh a little and says, “I’ll just be putting the pasta in now…”
She goes over to the counter and opens the package of Piccolini mini bow tie pasta and dumps it in the pot.
“Done and done.”
“Awesome.”
Awkward silence.
“So… Now what?”
I really am being retarded. I hate this.
I suck at this.
I never did this kind of stuff with Selphie.
So I’m a little new to this.
Okay…. I’m a lot new.
“You look confused,” Shayla commented.
“What makes you think that?” I ask kinda fast.
Shnikeys.
Take a deep breath.
“Sorry… I’ve never done anything like this. Like… ever.”
“Me neither.” She shrugs and smiles.
“Awesome. Then we’re both rookies. That makes it a little easier.” I smile that stupid crooked smile again.
Ugh. Cursed left side of my face.
Why won’t you lift up as high as the right side?