Scream Me a Dream

Friday July 24, 2010
Huvilakatu, Helsinki, Finland
12:20 pm

“I can’t believe we’re actually late.” Mige muttered as they walked down the street towards the restaurant that they were meant to meet Jonah Toivonen at.

“And I can’t believe you actually wore jeans with fucking holes in them.” Linde muttered back as he pulled open the door to the restaurant and walked towards the podium where the maître d’ was standing. “Hei, we’re here for lunch with Mr. Toivonen.”

“Ah, yes, this way.” The maître d’ said with a smile, only to raise his eyebrow at Mige’s jeans before leading them back into the restaurant.

“Of all the things for you to wear to lunch with Soya’s father, you wear that.” Linde said shaking his head; as much as he wanted to be upset, he couldn’t help but be amused at his friend.

“I wore the suit jacket didn’t I?” Mige grumbled.

Linde looked at the black suit jacket that Mige had worn over a band t-shit and rolled his eyes.

“Ah! Gentlemen!” They both turned and saw Jonah Toivonen standing, wiping his lips with a linen napkin before grasping their hands in a handshake. “Forgive me for starting without you, I was hungrier than I thought.”

“No, I’m sorry we’re late,” Linde said as he and Mige both took a seat when Jonah waved his hand at to do so, before he did the same. Linde couldn’t shake the feeling that the man sitting in front of them definitely wasn’t the Jonah Toivonen he remembered from his youth.

The Jonah from thirteen years ago, Linde remembered, was nearly intimidating with a mere look. His face had been fuller, his body filled out; the man sitting in front of them was much thinner than Linde remembered in the society pages of the paper, his eyes seemed a bit softer too, if not showing signs of fatigue.

“My meeting ran late this morning and I’m Mige’s ride.” Linde finally said, averting his gaze down to his napkin, before unfolding it and smoothing it down on his lap.

“Work is work, what can we do.” Jonah shrugged and gave them a smile. “I took the liberty of ordering for you, if that’s all right?”

“That’s fine.” Mige said with a nod, Jonah gave a nod of approval and raised his hand to the waiter who was apparently waiting in the wings for his signal, seconds later their food was placed in front of them, while the waiter asked for drink orders.

“The water’s fine.” Linde said waving his hand at the glasses of water in front of them before Mige could respond.

“I don’t think we officially met from when Soya was younger. I remember you boys dropping her off a few times.” Jonah told them.

“Ah, only a couple times.” Linde agreed.

“Let me see, you’re Linde then? I talked to you last night.” Jonah said gesturing towards Linde. “And Mige? Is that correct?”

Mige nodded. “Yes, that’s right.”

Jonah looked at the empty seat at their table, before his gaze went back to Linde, raising an eyebrow. “Isn’t there a third young man that was usually with you?”

Linde smirked, not being able to hide it. “Yes, Ville, Soya is actually trying to surprise Ville with her return.”

“Oh?”

“They’re very close.” Mige explained. “It’s been hell trying to hide all this from him.”

Jonah raised his eyebrow, but gave a nod. “Interesting, so Ville, he’s…the voice of the band, correct? The singer?”

“Yes.” Linde nodded.

“And you two?” Jonah asked gesturing between them.

“I play guitar.” Linde told him.

“I play bass, though Linde has his own side band as well.” Mige said.

“Do you?” Jonah asked, turning to Linde. “Does it do well?”

“It does.” Linde nodded.

“Are you on break then, or are you done touring?” Jonah gave a silent laugh. “I’m quite naïve with how all this band thing works.”

Linde gave a light smile as Mige picked the food on the plate; they both weren’t sure what had been placed in front of them. “We’re almost done; we have one more show in Pori, before we’re done.”

“Pori, that’s interesting.”

“It’s a summer festival.” Mige explained, “It’s us with a lot of other bands, they’re always fun.”

Linde hesitated before asking his question. “Has Soya told you her plan to return?”

“Not much of it, I’m afraid. I offered to pay for her plane tickets as well as her living arrangements but it seems my daughter’s quite adamant in paying her own way. I don’t even think she wanted to tell me about the flat you found for her. I’m assuming she has a set plan.”

“She…uh…” Mige hesitated, looking at Linde, who shrugged slightly. Both weren’t sure how much they wanted to tell Soya’s father and how much they were allowed to say.

“You can speak freely,” Jonah said with a nod. “I already know of her return, there’s no sense in keeping the when from me.”

“I’m picking her up from the Pori airport at seven in the morning on the seventh of August.” Linde told him.

“Pori…” Jonah said. “Where you’re playing?”

Linde nodded. “She’ll be at the festival all day; we’re staying two days in Pori for our set and the next day to see some other bands.” He looked at Mige who smirked. “We have her room accommodations set, as well as her backstage pass.”

“It looks like Soya has it all figured out.” Jonah said quietly, setting his fork on his empty plate.

“She’s always been independent.” Mige said carefully. “Even since we met her, she preferred doing things her way and not burden others.”

Jonah nodded slowly. “Of course she has.” He reached for his water glass and took a small sip, before looking at the full plates across from Mige and Linde. “French cuisine not to your fancy?” He smirked.

“Not really.” Mige said honestly, pushing the plate away, causing Linde to nudge him.

“Soya isn’t fond of it either, I don’t blame you.” Jonah chuckled. “If you’re finished, I’d like to take a look at the flat.”

“We’re finished.” Linde said, causing Jonah to nod and wave his hand for the check. Linde reached for the bill, only for Jonah to raise his brow at Linde in disbelief. “I’ll take care of it Mr. Toivonen.”

“It’s Jonah, and I invited you out, though I appreciate the offer.” Jonah said, taking the check from Linde’s fingers, looking at it briefly, before taking bills out of his wallet and leaving the money on the table. “Is it close by?”

“Right down the block, I’ve called the owner of the Kuutamo and she said it would be open for us to go in.” Mige said as they left the restaurant, walking down the block, closer to the colorful apartment buildings that made up the street. Linde stopped in front of one of the glass doors, causing Jonah to look up at the building.

“Blue?”

“We thought her favorite color would be a good selling point.” Linde said, taking the key out of his pocket and opening the door, allowing Jonah in first as he and Mige followed. “She’s on the top floor, unfortunately the lift’s broken.”

“It’s fine.” Jonah said as he followed the two up the stairs, Mige turned around once they were on the second floor landing and saw Jonah following slowly behind them.

“Not as quick as I used to be.” Jonah said with a light smile, though Mige noticed that Jonah was a bit out of breath by the time they reached the third floor, where Linde had already unlocked the door, and left it open for them.

“The flats up here have a great view of the Baltic.” Mige said as they walked into the apartment.

“We figure,” Linde started as he shut the door behind Jonah “Soya’s gone thirteen years without the view, why deprive her of it now?”

Jonah nodded slowly as he looked around the large empty living room. “We used to take Soya out there when she was younger, nearly every weekend.”

“Why’d you stop?” Mige asked absently, only for Linde to hit his arm in warning.

Jonah chuckled softly, before turning to them. “Work, money, staying as far away from my own home as possible; I believe these things were high on my priority list.” Jonah shrugged as he walked around the apartment taking it in. “When Soya turned five, she took a liking to ballet, as you know, and ballet classes on the weekends were much more important at the time. How many bedrooms?”

“Two.” Linde said quietly, watching Jonah as he started towards the arched doorway that led to the kitchen. “We know Soya enjoys cooking, so we picked the one with the bigger kitchen.”

“Does she?” Jonah asked, looking at Linde.

“According to Ville.” Mige said. “He stayed in New York a bit longer than we did and got to see her house over there, he told us that she had a state of the art kitchen because she and Josef cook a lot due to their diet during seasons.”

“We’re looking into getting the oven and refrigerator upgraded before she moves in.” Linde told him, leaning against the counter.

“Did Soya give you any idea as to furnishings?” Jonah asked absently as he walked out of the kitchen and down the hall.

Linde smirked and resisted the urge to tug on one of his dreadlocks that he had tied up in a ponytail. “We actually have my girlfriend and Mige’s wife on the job.”

“I’m sorry?”

Mige shrugged as he walked behind Jonah as Jonah opened the door to the master bedroom and walked in. “Soya’s trying so hard to surprise Ville, we thought it would be nice to surprise her with an already furnished apartment; Toni, Linde’s girlfriend, and Vedrana, my wife, are getting information out of Ville to see what they should buy.”

“Out of your own pocket?” Jonah said looking around the large space impressed.

“Yes, out of our own pocket.” Linde nodded.

“Bathrooms?”

“One, it’s at the end of the hall.” Mige said pointing down the hall.

“It’s a nice flat, big.” Jonah said. “Do you think she’ll like it?”

“We’ve sent her pictures; she liked it enough to want to put a down payment on it.” Linde said.

Jonah looked over at them, before giving a light frown. “You had the key to the front door.”

Linde straightened and nodded. “I did.”

“Did you already pay for the apartment?” Jonah asked.

Linde swallowed nervously, before giving a slight nod. “We both did, we told Soya we would, but I don’t think she believed we would actually do it.”

“We just didn’t want her to lose it.” Mige said with a shrug.

Jonah nodded slightly, before leaving the room and walking down the hall to the bathroom, he opened the door and raised an eyebrow.

“It’s a big bathroom.”

Linde nodded. “It’s meant to be the master bathroom; we thought that the separate shower and bathtub would be nice for Soya.”

Jonah nodded as he looked around the bathroom, there was a door connecting the bathroom to the master bedroom while to the right was corner shower, then next to it sat a large antique clawfoot tub and double sink with a large mirror to his left next to the door.

“Do you men have any ideas as to what you plan to do with the apartment?”

“Like with furnishings?” Mige asked as they followed Jonah out of the bathroom and let him look into the second bedroom, which was almost half the size of the master bedrooms but still large.

Jonah nodded. “Yes.”

Linde shrugged. “We were thinking of just putting in the basics and letting Soya get the little things done.” Linde bit the inside of his cheek, what he didn’t want to tell Jonah was that he, Mige, Burton and Gas had a bet going as to how long Soya would actually stay in the apartment before moving in with Ville.

“But any ideas,” Jonah repeated as he looked at the white walls. “Like painting?”

“We were thinking of painting.” Mige nodded hesitating before expanding on the information, when Jonah looked over at him. “We were thinking a cream for the master bedroom.”

“Black trim.” Linde added, they had talked about it with Toni and Vedrana over dinner the night before and had decided to start painting during the weekend.

Jonah nodded. “And for the bathroom?”

“We were thinking a light blue, while painting the living room a darker red.”

“Dark red?” Jonah asked, passing Linde and Mige and going back to the living room. “It’s a large space. The darker color is going to make the room seem smaller.”

“We want that effect.” Linde admitted, causing Jonah to raise an eyebrow. Linde shrugged. “Soya’s always liked things to have a home feel, we figured that even with the large space, she’d want the feel of it being smaller.”

“We plan to get large bookcases too.” Mige said, as he pointed to the wall closest to the front door. “Cover that entire wall with them, along with the back wall.”

“The dining room is through here.” Linde said, pointing towards the doorway near the corner of the living room. The only thing separating the dining room from the kitchen was the kitchen counter that was open to give the open airy feeling. The back wall of the dining room had French doors that led to a small balcony.

Jonah went over and opened the doors, stepping outside and looking out at the view of the Baltic Sea.

“What do you think?” Mige asked nervously, other than questions Jonah hadn’t really given his opinion of the apartment.

Jonah turned and leaned against the balcony wall crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at the younger men. “How long has it been since you both saw Soya?”

Linde blinked. “Saw?” He thought about it and shrugged. “I don’t know, about a week ago? We did a video chat during one of our rehearsals.”

Jonah chuckled softly. “No, I mean before you reconnected, how long has it been…ten, eleven years?”

“Thirteen.” Mige corrected.

“Right,” Jonah nodded. “Thirteen. How long did you know her before she left?”

“A year.” Linde said roughly. “A bit more than that.”

“I’ve known Soya for twenty eight years, for the most part I watched her grow up, become a respectable young lady, a wonderful dancer, traveled with her on and off for the last eight years.” He gave a bitter chuckle. “Yet, I didn’t even know my own daughter knew how to cook or that her favorite color was blue. How is it that you two, who haven’t seen her in more than a decade, are able to remember those details, yet I never knew them?”

Linde and Mige stared at Jonah in shock as Jonah gave a tired sigh; this was definitely not the Jonah Toivonen from thirteen years ago.

“I’m a sick man gentleman,” Jonah admitted. “And I’d like to do right by my daughter while I’m still here to do it.”

Linde started to speak, but found himself unable to, what the hell did Jonah mean? There had been nothing in the papers about him having an illness and if Jonah Toivonen was ill, the papers would have reported it.

Jonah chuckled. “I know what you are thinking, Linde, we’ve kept my illness quiet for a reason and that reason is Soya. She tends to keep up to date in the going ons here in Finland and we’re trying to…”

“Shield her from this?” Mige said, his voice holding a hard edge to it.

Linde frowned. “Is this why Soya hasn’t been allowed home in nearly thirteen years?”

Jonah stiffened. “Only the last three.”

“What about the other ten!” Linde nearly yelled, even then his voice had gotten higher. “Do you eve realize what you sending Soya away did to us? Did to Ville?”

“Look-” Jonah began only to have Linde cut him off.

“No, you look,” Linde started. “You sent Soya away over a guitar! A guitar I gave her because she had a talent that needed to be shared!”

“Linde.” Mige said, grabbing his friends arm, “Stop.”

“No” Linde said shaking his head. “It needs to be said and God knows Soya won’t say it.”

“Linde.” Mige warned.

“No,” Jonah told Mige softly, though he kept eye contact with a glaring Linde. “Let him get it off his chest I can tell this has been thirteen years in the making, go ahead, say it.”

“Do you even realize what you pulled her away from?” Linde asked. “Do you even realize the connection she had and still has with Ville? Do you realize how much they love each other and how far their relationship got pushed back because you sent her to New York?!”

Jonah frowned. “Still has? She’s with Josef; she can’t have a connection with another man,”

“And you’re fucking blind if you think she’s with Josef.” Linde hissed.

“Enough, Linde.” Mige hissed. “This isn’t ours to share.”

Jonah blinked at Linde, before shaking his head with a laugh. “God, she never told us she was actually with him, did she?” he muttered more to himself, though his voice carried over to Linde and Mige.

“What?” Mige asked in surprise.

“Elizabeth, when she first saw Josef with Soya, she assumed they were together, neither Soya nor Josef ever confirmed or denied it. God, I can’t believe I missed that. Five years and I’m figuring this out now.” Jonah laughed. “I have been blind.”

“Linde didn’t mean you were blind, Mr. Toivonen,” Mige said, causing Linde to glare at him. “It’s just, you have to understand, for the last thirteen years we’ve been harboring guilt for getting Soya sent away. We never intended for Soya to get in trouble because we gave her a guitar to practice on.”

“I never agreed with sending her away, you know? Not fully.” Jonah admitted.

“Then why did you?” Linde asked.

Jonah sighed. “I will be the first to admit, I’m not the best father. I wasn’t home enough and when I was, the last thing I wanted to do was be with my daughter. I regret that now.” He rubbed a hand tiredly over his face before he continued. “Elizabeth has been at home, she was the one doing the child rearing, and if she said we had to send Soya away for her own good, then send Soya away we did.”

“Her own good?” Linde asked quietly.

“I only saw Soya with you boys a couple of times, I wasn’t to judge the relationship I knew nothing about, but Elizabeth watched the relationship develop, and I agreed that Soya at sixteen had no businesses associating with boys older than herself.”

“We weren’t doing anything wrong though.” Mige said. “We were…”

Jonah raised an eyebrow as Mige trailed off. “I assume that you weren’t visiting museums or libraries as Soya told us.”

“We were at my house, most of the time anyway.” Linde admitted, finding no point in lying now, especially when Jonah was laying everything out on the table for them. He figured he might as well do the same. “My parents were always there and Soya was never left alone, if we weren’t at my house, we were at a music shop or a coffee shop. We weren’t doing anything wrong.”

“We never drank in front of her.” Mige continued following Linde’s lead. “Ville even cut down on smoking in front of her; we barely cursed in front of the girl, let alone tried to influence her to make the wrong decisions. We treated her as a sister.”

“Even when we left her alone with Ville, they were always at his parents house either babysitting Jesse or with Anita and Kari. We were doing nothing wrong.” Linde repeated. “She shouldn’t have been sent away.”

“No,” Jonah said quietly. “She shouldn’t have and I’ll have to live with the decision I made thirteen years ago. I’m only sorry you felt guilt over this situation.”

They stood silently on the balcony; the only sound surrounding them was the quiet hum of cars on the street below, as they allowed the words that were shared to be processed.

“I’d like to request something of you.” Jonah said, breaking the silence, he looked at Linde and Mige when they didn’t respond.

“Sorry.” Linde said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I think we’d like to hear the request before we agree.”

“Wise.” Jonah nodded. “I’d like you to write down everything you spend on the apartment, including the deposit you put down, from furnishing to towels, to the electrics you fill her kitchen with, every dollar you spend I want to know.”

“Why?” Mige asked.

“Because I’d like to reimburse you the money, if not, give you the money to spend.”

“And take the credit?” Linde muttered what he thought was low enough for only him to hear, but looked up when Jonah chuckled.

“Of course not, I would never take the credit for something you and your significant others worked so hard on, but I’d prefer it if you spent my money instead of your own.” Jonah admitted. “I would have done it for Soya had she told me her plans, but for obvious reasons she’s leaving me out.”

Linde looked over at Mige, they had a silent conversation, before Linde looked back over to Jonah. “I think…” Linde sighed.

“Go on.” Jonah nodded.

“I think that Soya’s not sure how to react to your….interest?” Linde said slowly and unsurely, not sure he should be speaking his mind as he was. He only remembered the silent and stony Jonah, not this open and honest one.

Jonah gave a quiet chuckle and nodded slightly. “I was a mean son of a bitch when Soya was younger, and I don’t blame her. My seven year old doesn’t even believe me half the time, when I ask her if she wants to spend time with me. I’m making an honest effort to be a better father with Aida, I fear it’s too late with Soya.”

Mige looked at Linde, before saying his piece. “I don’t think it’s too late.” Mige said slowly.

Jonah raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Mige nodded. “Really.”

“That’s a relief to know.” He admitted before he looked around the balcony, giving a nod of approval. “You boys did well, Soya will love it.”

Linde shrugged. “I don’t think Soya really cares where she lives as long as she’s here at home where she belongs.”

“I’m sure she does.” Jonah said slowly, realizing he deserved Linde’s words. “I have a meeting to get to now, but thank you for humoring me and showing me the flat.”

Linde nodded. “We should probably get to band practice, my phone’s been vibrating the entire time, I’m sure Ville’s wondering where we are.”

Jonah nodded as they started out of the apartment, Linde making sure the door was locked before following Mige and Jonah down the stairs.

“Do you need a ride?” Jonah asked.

“No, I have my car.” Linde said. “But thank you for the offer.”

“When do you think you’ll start work on the apartment?” Jonah asked once they were outside, walking back towards Linde’s car.

Mige shrugged. “We have this weekend free; we want it to be ready by the time Soya gets here.”

“Well, like I said, I’ll reimburse you anything you have spent or are planning on spending on the apartment. If you want to make estimations and let me know how much you need I’ll give you the money, up to you.” Jonah said with a decisive nod.

“Thank you, but we’re fine with paying for everything.” Linde said as Mige nodded in agreement.

“Yes, but I’m not,” Jonah admitted. “I’d actually prefer you use my money in this, if you don’t I’ll make the estimations myself, using the highest price items and send you an amount that is probably much more than what you actually spent.”

Mige snorted, causing Linde to look at him in amusement, while Jonah raised an eyebrow in question. “Sorry,” Mige chuckled. “It’s just, you and Soya are much more alike than you give yourself credit for. That’s definitely something she would do.”

“We’ll give you the amount once everything’s paid for.” Linde said slowly, giving into Jonah, knowing that if he was anything like his daughter, he would be on their backs about wanting the amount.

Jonah gave a small smirk. “I want receipts as well; I don’t want to be deceived.”

“Done.” Mige nodded.

“Good, now I’ll let you go. Thank you again for showing me the flat.”

“Our pleasure.” Linde said, giving a small smile.

Jonah was about to walk away as Linde opened the door to the driver’s side and Mige prepared to get into the passenger, only to stop the two. “Tell me something.”

“Yes?” Mige asked.

“Ville? Is he good for my Soya?”

Linde couldn’t help but grin. “He’s perfect for Soya.”

Jonah gave a slow nod. “He makes her happy?”

“Extremely.” Mige agreed.

“Good.” Jonah said. “That’s all I want for my daughter.” With that said, Jonah turned and started walking away.

Linde got into the car as Mige closed the door and gave a large sigh of relief.

“And you thought I was going to embarrass Soya.” Mige muttered putting on his seatbelt as Linde started the car. “I can’t believe you yelled at him.”

“Shut up.” Linde muttered.

“Linde?” Mige asked as Linde started towards their rehearsal space.

“Yeah?”

“How sick do you think Jonah is?”

Linde released a breath and shook his head. “I have no idea Mige, it’s probably nothing serious.”

“Yeah.” Mige nodded. “Yeah, nothing serious.”