Scream Me a Dream

“Well?” Elizabeth hedged, looking at her husband with a raised eyebrow.

Jonah shook his head. “We’ll discuss this at the table; go get Aida.” He said looking back at his wife, who glanced at Soya before turning on her heel and walking up the steps to get her youngest daughter.

“How did your mother find out you were here?” Jonah asked once Elizabeth was out of ear shot.

“I have no idea.” Soya admitted, before remembering the magazines. “Well…Ville and I ended up on some magazines, but they were entertainment ones, mamma doesn’t read those.”

“Except at the salon, which she went to today.” Jonah sighed, helping Soya out of her coat. “You look wonderful pikku tanssija.”

“Thanks isi.” Soya smiled fixing her sleeve.

“Come, let’s sit at the table.”

“Papa.” Soya said touching his arm lightly, only to be surprised when she felt how loose her father’s shirt was around his arm.

“Yes?”

Soya dropped her arm and smiled lightly. “After dinner, do you mind if we talk in your office?”

Jonah nodded. “Of course Soya, is it something serious?”

Soya shrugged following him into the dining room. “I’m not sure yet.”

“Well, you have me intrigued.” Jonah chuckled, pulling out her chair for her. Soya sat, sending him a smile before grabbing the linen napkin and smoothing it down on her lap. Aida walked into the dining room quietly, her eyes to the ground, causing Soya to wince at the action. Her mother followed, sitting at the other end of the table, across from Jonah.

They sat silently as Niina came and served the first course of hernekeitto, or pea soup, making Soya inwardly wince as she remembered each and every tense dinner she’d had in that house. It wasn’t until she’d had dinner at Ville’s house with his family at fifteen that she had realized dinners were not meant to be spent in silence.

“Well, aren’t you going to say something Jonah?” Elizabeth asked, once Niina had disappeared back into the kitchen.

“What’s to say Elizabeth?” Jonah asked picking up his spoon.

“What’s to say?” Elizabeth asked in disbelief. “Your daughter disobeyed you!”

“Did she?” Jonah said. “Because I was positive that I had told Soya back in June that I would love to see her back home where she belongs.”

“You did what?” Elizabeth asked her eyes wide.

“I gave Soya the permission to come back, not that she needs it.” Jonah said looking at his oldest daughter. “She’s old enough to make her own decisions and she has been for a while.”

“Old enough to make her own decisions?” Elizabeth repeated slowly. “You think her breaking off an eight year relationship with Josef to be with that Valo boy is a good decision?” Elizabeth asked, spitting out the word ‘Valo’ as if it were a curse word.

“For one, Josef is more likely to enjoy ‘that Valo boy’s’ company then Soya’s, he’s is no longer a boy Liz, and he has a name. Ville’s a good man and a perfect match for Soya, I couldn’t have asked for better.” Jonah said, smiling lightly at Soya, patting her hand, as she watched in disbelief as her parents argued.

“What has gotten into you?!” Elizabeth asked her voice rising. “He’s good for her? He’s the reason we sent Soya away in the first place!”

“Wait, what?!” Soya asked looked over at her mother. “I thought I got sent away because of the guitar that you found underneath my bed!”

“Of course that wasn’t the reason, Soya!” Elizabeth said, glaring at her daughter.

“Liz.” Jonah said patiently eyeing his wife. “You told me that we had to send Soya away because those boys were bad influences on her.”

“They were!” Elizabeth argued.

“You told me that Soya’s friendship with those boys was affecting her schoolwork, her performance in her dance classes and she was starting to act out at home; the guitar proving it.”

“What!” Soya asked, her wide eyes turning to her mother who was staring at Jonah. Her hanging out with the boys never affected any other aspect of her life; she hadn’t allowed it to, fearing that if her grades slipped or her performance in dance suffered her mother wouldn’t allow her to go out after her classes. It looked like her hard work was pointless if her mother had always planned to send her off no matter what.

“I’ve talked to those boys Elizabeth,” Jonah said swirling his soup with his spoon. “And they showed nothing but remorse and guilt for getting Soya sent away for a guitar.”

“I did what was best!”

“Enough!” Jonah hissed looking at his wife. “Soya, take your sister to her room.”

“But-”

“Now, Soya.”

Soya nodded, standing up and placing her napkin on the table, motioning for Aida to follow her. Aida scurried off her chair and around the table, grabbing Soya’s hand as they walked out of the dining room and towards the stairs, hearing the muffled argument coming from the dining room. Soya took Aida half way up the steps before letting go of her sister’s hand.

“Go.”

“But isi said to take me to my room.”

“Go Aida.” Soya said. “You know the way to your own room.”

Aida watched Soya, before frowning at her. “Are you going to go listen?”

“Aida, go.” Soya said, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. “Close your door.”

“Fine.” Aida muttered. “I hate hernekeitto anyway, it’s too green.”

Soya shook her head, watching as Aida walked up the rest of the steps. Once Soya heard the lock click in place, she made her way back downstairs, going into the kitchen and peeking her head in, making sure Niina wasn’t in the kitchen as the woman practically lived in the room. Seeing that the kitchen was clear, Soya walked in, before leaning against the wall next to the door that lead into the dining room, hearing her parents’ muffled voices.

Biting her lip, she shook her head at her actions, pressing the tip of her shoe to the door and pushing it lightly to create an opening, making their voices clearer.

“…done Elizabeth, this manipulation of yours, it’s done!”

“Manipulation!” Elizabeth hissed. “I did it for her own good!”

“Her own good or yours?!” Jonah asked, his voice raising the angrier he became. “What was your plan for Aida, Liz? Ship her off to Soya in New York the minute she was old enough?”

“Had that been my plan she would have been shipped off the minute she could walk!”

Soya covered her mouth as she heard her mother’s harsh words; it was one thing to know her mother hadn’t wanted children, another to hear it coming directly from her mother’s mouth.

“Enough Elizabeth, that’s enough.” Jonah said harshly. “You can’t have me all to yourself anymore Liz, we’re not eighteen! We’re not children anymore!”

“You can’t honestly believe-”

“Of course I do! You were never good at sharing me even with my own parents! Enough is enough Elizabeth, I would hope with the status of my health you would have learned to love our children.”

“I never wanted children, I told you that-“

“But we had them!” Jonah argued. “And it’s time you stop acting like a child and grow up Liz! I’m sick, I’m dying, what’s going to happen when I’m gone? With Soya? With Aida?!”

Soya clenched her fingers against her lips to keep in the squeak as she heard her father’s words.

“Don’t-“

“I’m serious, are you going to live here by yourself, while Niina raises your daughter!”

“Of course not!”

“Are you going to continue raising her then?”

“Jonah!”

“I will not allow you to pawn our daughter off to Soya, you hear me Liz? Grow up!”

“Soya!”

Soya moved her foot, causing the door to slam against the wood, as she turned with wide eyes to look at Niina.

“Get away from that door!” Niina reprimanded. “You know better than to eavesdrop.”

Soya froze as she felt her heart beat rapidly against her chest, only to feel the door open next to her, a hand resting on her arm.

“Soya.” Her father whispered.

“I need…” Soya looked down at the ground trying to catch her breath.

“Come on, let’s get you outside. Niina, check on Aida for me, she hasn’t eaten.”

“Of course sir.” She heard Niina’s voice and even watched as Niina walked past her, but the voice seemed far away as her father led her towards the front door.

“Sit here, I’m going to go grab Nathan, he’ll drive you home.”

“No, I’m…”

“No, I refuse to let you drive like this,” Jonah said firmly. “Sit.”

Soya fell to the step that was outside the door, staring at the ground, her hand coming to her chest as she felt it still beating much too fast to be considered normal. Her other arm came around her stomach holding it as she felt it churn.

“Soya.”

“I’m fine.” She croaked.

“How much did you hear?” Jonah asked carefully, crouching down next to Soya and placing his hand on her shoulder.

“How much is too much?” Soya whispered, still staring at the ground.

“Soya I think we should talk.”

“Really?” Soya asked, looking up at her father with wide grey eyes. “Because apparently it’s not something you want to talk about.”

“Oh Soya.” Jonah sighed.

She shook her head. “I just want to go home, I want…I need Ville right now.”

“All right.” Jonah nodded rubbing her shoulder lightly, as the black town car pulled up to the door, Nathan rushing out and opening the door. “Come on, up.”

“I can stand.” Soya said, pushing herself up and walking to the car, not allowing her father to see just how unsteady her legs were.

“Soya, I would like to talk to you about this.”

“I just…”

“It’s fine, call me when you’re ready.” Jonah said, leaning forward to kiss her temple and closing the door behind her. She curled her fingers around her stomach as she felt knots starting to take form at its pit.

She felt like she had only blinked before she felt Nathan parking the car in front of Ville’s tower and helping her out of the car.

“I can walk.” She said quietly, watching as he grabbed her clutch and jacket from the car seat.

“Yes, I know Miss. Soya; I’m just making sure you make it to the door safely.” Nathan assured. “Do I knock?”

“Key, it’s in my purse.” Soya muttered, feeling her stomach heave even more as her father’s words repeated in her head.

“Right.” Nathan said, opening the small clutch only for the door to swing open.

“Hey, that was quick…what’s going on?”

Soya rushed past Ville and up the stairs, only for Ville to look up when he heard a door slam and Soya’s retching filling the house. He turned back to Nathan who held out Soya’s purse and coat. “What happened?” Ville asked with wide eyes.

Nathan gave a nervous laugh as he ran a hand through his hair. “Soya may have eavesdropped on a conversation not meant for her.”

Ville sighed and nodded “Thank you for bringing her back.”

“Of course.”

Ville watched Nathan make his way back to the car before he closed the door, locking it and dropping Soya’s coat and purse before rushing up the stairs, finding Soya bent over the toilet. “Jesus Soya.” Ville muttered, pulling her hair away from her face, searching the counter to find one of her hair bands and tying her hair back.

Soya curled her fingers against the porcelain tank as the food she’d eaten during the day emptied into the bowl before she pulled away from the toilet leaning her back against the tub tiredly, closing her eyes.

“What the hell happened?” Ville asked, as he ran a wash cloth under the tap, before crouching next to her and wiping her face softly.

“My dad’s dying.”

Ville froze his hand on her chin, meeting her eyes which were starting to water. “Oh, sweetheart.”

“I…” Soya bit down on her lip as she shook her head feeling the air trap in her throat as she tried to breath. “I don’t know…”

“Hey, come here.” Ville said sitting next to her and pulling her closer. “Did he tell you?”

“I overheard it.” Soya whispered, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Can we go outside for a while?”

“We?” Ville asked, surprised she’d wanted him with her. He’d come to learn with Soya, she liked to internalize things and process them before she shared and that was even if she willingly gave him the information.

“Yeah, we.” She said with a nod.

“All right, let’s get you out of these clothes first and into something a bit warmer.”

Soya nodded, as Ville stood holding out his hand, she grasped his hand and winced when she saw the mess in the toilet.

“Sorry.” She muttered, pushing the lever to flush and going to the sink to brush her teeth, wanting to get rid of the aftertaste in her mouth.

“Trust me, that toilet has seen worse.” Ville teased.

“Ew.” Soya said around her toothbrush, scrunching her nose at him, before she spit out the toothpaste, covering her mouth. She wiped her mouth with the clean portion of the wash cloth Ville had used, before allowing him to pull her out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. She sat on the bed, toeing off her heels only to blink when Ville held out one of his shirts for her.

“I might as well start giving them to you,” Ville said, pulling her hands up so she was standing and unzipping the back of her dress. “You’ll just end up stealing them anyway.”

Soya smiled softly as she took her arms out of the sleeves of the dress, letting the fabric fall to the ground, allowing Ville a view of her black lace bra and the matching panties she had on underneath her tights. Ville pulled her arms up, pulling the “Bad Brains” shirt on for her before rummaging through his drawers where Soya had put some of her clothes, producing a pair of her yoga pants.

“Tights on or off?” he asked as he crouched in front of her.

“On. I can dress myself, you know?” She said, stepping through the pants and using Ville’s shoulder as a support.

“I know, but I want to help.” Ville admitted, handing her the grey Ugg boots she’d left by the entry way of the door. She sat down and started to pull them on, only for Ville to hand her a pair of black and white socks. “These first.” He said. “It’s starting to get cold outside; I don’t want you to freeze.”

“Starting to?” She asked with a raised eyebrow as she set her boots down and pulled the socks on over her tights. “It’s Finland, Ville; of course it’s cold this time of year.”

Ville grinned at her as she pulled on her boots. “But you’re used to New York winters; Finland winters are so very different.”

“That, you don’t have to remind me of.” Soya smiled as he pulled on a black hoodie before grabbing a blanket from his closet; that caused Soya to smile as she saw Jack Skellington’s face littered on the black plush fabric.

“It was a gift.” Ville said as they started out of the room and down the stairs.

“I like it.” Soya said, touching the soft fabric that she knew would be warm once they were wrapped up in it. “Who gave it to you?”

Ville grinned as he opened the door for her, closing it behind him as they walked to the circular metal chair he had in his yard. “Mama did.” Ville said, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders and sitting on the seat, before pulling Soya on top of him and wrapping the blanket around her body as she rested her head on his shoulder, her legs resting over his. “Last year for my birthday.”

“It’s warm.” Soya said softly, as Ville rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

“It’s a blanket, it’s meant to be warm.” Ville teased softly as she picked at the strings coming from his hoodie. “How’d you find out?” he asked carefully, his hand still continuing its path up and down her soft arm.

Soya’s breath caught in her throat as she thought about what she had overheard.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” Ville said quickly, not wanting to push her.

“I want to.” Soya said quickly, lifting her head slightly to look at him. “I never tell you about what my father and I talk about do I?” she asked, raising her hand to caress his cheek.

Ville shrugged lightly, tilting his head to kiss her palm. “I figure those conversations are between you and your father, conversations long past due.”

“You figure right.” She said smiling lightly, her thumb still moving softly against his rapidly cooling cheek. “He told me my mother never wanted children.” She said, moving her gaze from Ville’s as she saw the pity quickly filling the emerald orbs, focusing on her thumb as it moved. She bit her lip as she thought about the conversation she’d had with her father nearly a month ago, “It hurt hearing it from him, nearly killed me hearing it from my own mother’s lips tonight.”

“Soya.” Ville started only for Soya to cut him off with a shake of her head, pieces of hair falling from the loose band.

“I think my heart hurts more for Aida.” She said, moving her gaze back to his. “We had an argument; my mother saw the pictures in the magazines at the salon, she was more upset that my father approved of us than about me actually being back home.”

“Your mother really does not like me, does she?” Ville asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t feel bad about it.” Soya said, the corner of her lip tugging up. “I’m starting to learn that my mother doesn’t really like anyone.”

“What happened?”

“My father sent us out of the room; I snuck in through the kitchen and overheard the rest of their conversation. They were talking about me and Aida, and who would take care of Aida when he was gone.”

“Did he say he was dying?” Ville asked.

Soya nodded. “He did, I…um,…” she closed her eyes as she thought about what happened next, after she’d heard those words everything else had become a blur. “I think Niina caught me listening in; I…um…remember my father shuffling me out of the kitchen, telling me he didn’t want me to drive, next thing I know, I’m here, leaning over a toilet.”

Ville squeezed her arm, leaning forward to kiss her temple. “Shock.”

“Yes.” Soya nodded.

“Soya,” Ville started only to shake his head. “Nevermind.”

“No, please talk.” She said, turning his face to hers again. “I want to hear what you think.”

Ville lifted his hand to cup her own cheek, bringing her down to kiss her, before pulling back and running his thumb over her lower lip. “I know it’s a shock.” He said quietly. “Finding out that not only is your father sick, but that he may be possibly dying.”

Soya frowned. “It’s not a possibly.”

“Wait, listen.” Ville said patiently, still watching her as her hand dropped from his cheek to rest on his chest. “Understandably, you hear the word dying and your mind jumps to obviously negative situations especially since you’ve already had those thoughts in your head.”

“But if someone says they’re dying, then of course my mind jumps to the negative, it’s death.”

“I think you should talk to your father about this Soya.”

“But-”

“No buts Soya, I think it’s really important you have this conversation with him. Yes, you know he’s sick, but how sick? Is it something that is affecting him right now, or something that is gradually going to affect his life? Aida said he had doctors, meaning he’s getting things taken care of. He may be dying Soya, but you don’t know how and you don’t know when. I really do think you have to talk to him.”

Soya felt her eyes water as she thought about what Ville was telling her, she never in a million years thought she would have to have that type of conversation with anyone, let alone her own father.

“Oh, kultaseni.” Ville cooed, running his thumb underneath her eye softly as he saw a tear fall. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“But you’re right.” She said as she felt more slip down her cheeks. “As much as I don’t want to have that conversation with him, I have to.”

“Who wants to have that conversation Soya? With anyone; I know when my mama and daddy start talking about life insurance policies around me, it makes me cringe. It’s not something any child wants to think about, let alone talk about with their parents. It’s hard, but at this point do you really want to fill your head with assumptions, rather than getting all the facts?”

“I know, I just…” Soya sighed and rested her head on Ville shoulder again.

“I know, love, I know.” Ville assured, moving his hand to rest on her back and rub circles, trying to sooth her.

Soya felt her eyes close as she focused on Ville’s hand and the circles he was making on her back, while his other hand had found its way underneath her shirt, having rested it on her hip while his thumb ran up and down slowly. She moved her head slightly so she could watch him, his own eyes closed, before opening them almost as if he could feel her watching him.

“I want it to snow.” She said softly, watching as the corners of his lips tugged up.

“Do you?”

Soya nodded. “Good things always come when it snows. I feel like I’m falling apart with every new piece of information I find out about my family, so if snow comes, something good will happen.”

Ville chuckled. “I never knew that.”

“My theory has held up all throughout my life, I think once it snows, I’ll stop falling apart.”

Ville chuckled, leaning down and kissing her forehead. “Don’t worry love, we’ll fall apart together.”

Soya smiled, liking the idea of not being alone, even if what he said did sound oddly familiar. She started to lay her head back down on his shoulder, only to sit up and stare at him. “Did you just quote your own song lyric to me?”

“And what if I did?” Ville asked with a smirk.

Soya shook her head, a soft laugh escaping her lips. “I guess it’s the thought that counts.” She said laying her head back down, only to feel his head lean down so his lips were near her ear, before she heard the soft hum coming from his throat, making a shiver run down her spine.

“Let’s fall apart together now.” He sang softly, causing a smile to tug on her lips as she moved her arms to hug him tightly.