No One Ever Taught Me Who I Was Supposed to Be
"What’s your favorite band?"
"So Gerard... " Frank started. He was feeling the awkwardness of talking to me. I’m an awkward person. I can’t talk to people...
But can you blame me?
My mother left me when I was two. My dad almost never came home...Almost never talked to me.
And when he did....
Kids didn’t like me in kinder-garden. So they didn’t like me for the rest of my school years. Its amazing how a reputation fallows you. I became a permanent fixture at the desk in the back. I was invisible to them.
Unless they were mad. Then I would be the one all the boys looked for. I’m the boy that wouldn't fight back, only struggle to be free.
Much as life is now.
Only in other senses.
Frank is still staring at me. What does he want me to say?
"What’s your favorite band?" He asks.
Band?
I don’t know any. Should I? Is it bad that I don’t?
"D-don’t have one..." I manage to squeak out. "You don’t?!" He asks disbelieving. "I... I don’t k-know any..." At this he almost chocks.
He sees my face. "Your not kidding?" I shook my head. Should I be?
He shakes his head and looks at his watch. "Hey Gerard? Will you met me here tomorrow?" My eye's are wide. Why do I want to? I nod slightly and he gives me one of those smiles.
"Great!" Does he really think so? "Met here had 2 and we can go to my house and I'll show you the wonders of music!" With that he got up and left.
This is a new situation. I don’t think I'll like it. There’s a weird feeling in my chest. I don’t think I like that either...
But can you blame me?
My mother left me when I was two. My dad almost never came home...Almost never talked to me.
And when he did....
Kids didn’t like me in kinder-garden. So they didn’t like me for the rest of my school years. Its amazing how a reputation fallows you. I became a permanent fixture at the desk in the back. I was invisible to them.
Unless they were mad. Then I would be the one all the boys looked for. I’m the boy that wouldn't fight back, only struggle to be free.
Much as life is now.
Only in other senses.
Frank is still staring at me. What does he want me to say?
"What’s your favorite band?" He asks.
Band?
I don’t know any. Should I? Is it bad that I don’t?
"D-don’t have one..." I manage to squeak out. "You don’t?!" He asks disbelieving. "I... I don’t k-know any..." At this he almost chocks.
He sees my face. "Your not kidding?" I shook my head. Should I be?
He shakes his head and looks at his watch. "Hey Gerard? Will you met me here tomorrow?" My eye's are wide. Why do I want to? I nod slightly and he gives me one of those smiles.
"Great!" Does he really think so? "Met here had 2 and we can go to my house and I'll show you the wonders of music!" With that he got up and left.
This is a new situation. I don’t think I'll like it. There’s a weird feeling in my chest. I don’t think I like that either...