No Strings Attached, Please?

This was really awkward. I didn’t know what to do, besides chewing on my soda’s straw. The look that Dante had been giving me was really disturbing. He didn’t even dare to look me in the eye ever since I reached Kale’s house. He acted as if I had never existed, like he never knew me before.

Geoff looked amused when he found out that Dante was acting that way. He smirked and quipped at me with his sarcastic side of asshole. Geoff didn’t bother me, but the only thing that did bother me was this chick who sat beside me.

Corrine, Corey or whatever her name was, claimed that she and Dante had been seeing each other these past two days. This made me quite disappointed in Dante because I couldn’t lie if I said I didn't still want him. Then what a douche I was being that I couldn’t pull myself off from Nat. What I heard from Kale was, Dante met Corey in some random club and they kinda hooked up, and I didn't want to hear any more after that. God knows what Dante and Corey had been doing.

I didn’t want to picture it further. Shit.

But the most ridiculous thing I figured out was that Corey seemed to know me from somewhere. I didn’t really know why she had red hair. I was highly sure she died her natural hair somehow. She was a brunette, that’s what I caught when I stared at her eyebrows. And what made me almost laugh was… she dressed up just like me. Was it just me, or was Dante trying to find a girl who was exactly like me?

Geez, when I looked at her nails on her iPad, all I saw was my favorite color was polished there.

She giggled and batted her eyelashes a lot toward Dante, who was up for his rehearsal with his band. I tried to be nice with her and, she weirdly nodded to me. She continued her hearable chant over to Dante such as: “Dante is super hot, I could suck him anytime,” or “Your face is so inviting it can make me horny,” or “I could have sleepless, filthy nights if I move in with him.” All those gross things, she actually said to him.

I pulled my knees up and hugged them while I rested my head on the couch. I hated to be on her side. She couldn’t stop her big mouth over Dante. She even whispered other disturbing words like Dante fucked like an expert. I hated it. I really hated it.

“She’s just some random fuck for Dante,” a voice whispered from beside me, that happened to be from Bridget, who had this sympathy look. She knew nothing, but she sounded like she knew me better, like she could read my mind that I still loved Dante.

I shook my head to deny my feeling over Dante. I decided to walk out from the mini studio when the boys just ended their first rehearsal with a loud clatter. I walked passed the kitchen and then ventured over to Kale’s refrigerator to find any kind of a snack, but I found nothing. I grunted silently as I spotted a box of Sprinkles set on the counter. I opened the box and grabbed the red velvet one.

Chewing on my cupcake, I sat on the dining chair that faced the swimming pool in the backyard. Well, with that I just needed some alone time for a moment before I heard someone just opened the refrigerator.

“Ugh, can he just buy something good?” someone spoke quitetly which made me to turn my head. I found Dante was bending down to find something inside the icebox, which gave me a good view of his ass. Shit.

I just turned away and ignored him. Why should I bother to start a conversation with him if he’s been ignoring me?

And suddenly, off from my expectation, Dante sat on the dining chair in front of me with an apple syrup on his hand and a whip cream on the other of his hand. I awkwardly stared at him for a moment and eyed them off before I got up from my seat.

I didn’t want to bother him with my presence when clearly he didn’t want me. But what startled me was when he cleared his throat.

“You can stay if you want,” he said simply. I turned my heels back and looked at him with my amazed look. “Maybe we can talk about… you know… things,” he offered as he watched my shocked face. I paused for a moment before I got back to my seat.

“Look, Corey and I…” he began but I simply cut him off.

“What's this all about, Dan? You walked away from my life a couple days ago, you rejected all my calls, you didn’t reply to any of my message and shit.” My tone was a bit gruff and annoyed as I raked my fingers through my bloody hair.

“What am I supposed to do? See you? You know we’re done. And it’s not like you didn't do that to me. Says who rejected my calls, never replied to my IM’s, blocked me from your contact, and even ran away when Kale brought me to your house to talk. Speak for yourself, Sava-ave,” he said as he put down his apple syrup and folded his hands on the table. I wished he would stop calling me “Save-ave”. I didn’t like it when he called me that while we’re not in relationship.

“So, you take a revenge for that? Real mature, Dan, real mature,” I scoffed as I rolled my eyes. “We fought a couple days ago, and suddenly you bring that chick to your rehearsal. Kale told me you met her two days ago at some random club. Are you trying to say that you met her before we fought? Doesn’t it make you the same? A cheater?”

“I never cheated on you! I did meet her a couple days ago, the night after we ended it all. I blamed it all on alcohol, and she just came along. AND, Corey [i[isn’t just a chick, Sav.” The last comment from him officially made my breath hitch in my throat. I could feel my lips start to tremble, but I bit down on them to stop it.

“She’s your girlfriend now, eh?” I asked in a husky voice. I didn’t like the fact that he moved on that fast from me. I thought he had a deep thing for me even though we’re finished. I expected that he would go back at me again, but…

“She’s not, I haven’t made it official, but soon…,” he said quietly. “I’ve been seeing her for two days now, and I guess I like her that much, so… maybe someday I would make it official between us,” he trailed his eyes from the table to mine as our eyes locked in a weird atmosphere. I didn’t get it, he said he liked her that much while he just met her two days ago? Bullshit! “Listen, Sav. You don’t need to make it difficult. I already forgave you, besides you have Nat, so… we could still stay friends if you want.”

I stayed in silence while the pit in my stomach grumbled and made a flipside movement. I balled my fist tightly and clenched my teeth when I was hit by the realization that I already lost him from my hand.

“Do you regularly fuck her?” I asked quite loud, but then I realized that I just asked him some stupid yet dangerous question that could make me more upset.

He didn’t answer. He only watched my eyes with his beautiful eyes. But then he inhaled and exhaled longingly.

“We can discuss anything other than that,” he said.

“Do you regularly fuck her? Because God dammit, she whispered kinky stuff about you and her in bed while you were performing! Her big mouth drove me off the cliff!” my tone was high pitched.

Dante looked down. “Yes, I sleep with her,” he said quietly with a red face. I didn’t know what was happening, but my sight started to spin and got blurry. I knew I shouldn’t have asked, because it would just make my heart crushed even more. “Don’t be all jealous like that, Sav. We’re not ‘something’.”

We were not something? WE WERE NOT SOMETHING? Under regular circumstances, I would be crying by now because he said so. I could hear a shattering sound that came from my little heart. Dante was just so mean. I couldn’t believe him.

I got off from the seat and tried my best to smile at him.

“Okay…l-let’s just be friends. You’re right, it’s the best way to work it out between us. I just hope you will be happy with her,” I clenched my teeth and walked away from him.

I thought he liked Corey more because she’s an adult while with me I was still in highschool. Dante was twenty, and he didn’t need an immature teen like me. I was barely eighteen! Dante and Corey might have a lot in common. She probably had something that I didn’t. It crushed me.

I heard Dante’s faint calls but I ignored him. I dragged my feet back to the mini studio that the Potters own. This why I didn’t want to get too attached with guys. When you’re so in love with them, they could easily break my heart. I thought it’s better to have sex with some random guys so it would mend my broken heart. It’s more fun than being in a commitment with your boyfriend. It came like… I thought I didn’t want to marry anyone else in the future. Love is bullshit.

I knew it was my fault, about why the hell I didn’t want to tell Dante about me and Nat, it’s just my mind told me not to tell him and I guess it’s the right thing to do. But for the feedback, he left me for another stupid girl who dressed up like me.

That’s when I heard a click in my head that…. I didn’t want to fall in love with anyone again. It hurt a lot.

As I found myself inside the mini studio, I found no one there. I saw Kale and Bridget come upstairs earlier and I didn’t want to see the rest. I paced my feet toward the couch and lounged there, making myself comfortable. All I did was try hard not to cry. I knew I shouldn't cry because it’s useless. Dante didn’t want me, there’s no “Us” anymore, just friends.

I hated to be vulnerable and a wreck, it’s just not me. Savannah Connor was known as a bitch queen, not a fragile character like in sappy movies. I got off from the couch and stood up with tough form. I put my hands on my waist and grunted. I needed some distraction like…. I stared around the room and dropped my eyes on the music instruments. I walked toward the instruments and stood on the microphone stand—where Dante always played.

I wrapped the microphone and pressed my lips on it as I let out a really long sigh.

I loved you, Dan. I really loved you, I spoke through my mind.

It took me a while to leave the microphone stand and back away. My calf hit the drum sets behind me where the big drum on the bottom was embossed with “BigBang Aftermath”. I walked around the drum set to sit behind the drums. I let out another desperate sigh and then watched the drumsticks that sat on the very side of drum.

I grabbed them and started to randomly hit the various size drums in front of me then accidentally hit on of the drums on my left too hard and made the drumstick jump out from my hand as someone came inside the room.

“What are you doing?” he asked

“Umm.. playing?” I said monotonously at Nat who had this suspicious look pointed at me.

“I put some of my own money on that drumset, if you dare break them I swear…”

“I didn’t break anything! Geez!” I scoffed and then watched Nat groan as he approached the jumping drumstick on the floor. He watched me with his rolling eyes as he walked up to me. I ignored him and then started to play the drums again with my single drumstick.

“Damn, stop torturing my babies! You can’t play them!” he said snatching the stick out of my hand and groaned again. “Stop trying when you’re not capable of playing music instruments,” he hissed as he examined his drumsticks, worried that I might have damaged them.

“I can play some musical instruments!” I told him, offended by his slightly annoying comment.

“Oh yeah, you look like a flute girl, huh?”

“You underestimate me, McGregor.”

“Oh really? What do you play then? A flute?” he laughed cynically as he rubbed the wooden drumsticks with so much love.

I glared at him because of his comment. “I play bass, guitar, harmonica, saxophone, violin, harp, trumpet, banjo, and yes, flute.” I crossed my hands over my chest and looked at him maliciously while he looked at me as if I was a mad man.

“Oh really? Show me some harmony then,” he said as he grabbed Geoff’s guitar and passed it to me. “Play me something,” he said as he stood up near to me. I couldn’t believe that he didn’t believe me. I did play that stuff and he just laughed at me. I huffed and grabbed Geoff’s guitar.

I put the guitar on my lap while my fingers played with the strings, giving a light try on the strings to check the sound. I strummed some random chord again to make sure it sounded right. I cleared my throat before playing my first chord.

“My mouth is frozen so I can't even speak. What a disappointment, I had it perfectly. What I was going to bring up suddenly. Stood like a stone as you stood quietly.” I started while I sang the song. I looked up to Nat with a smirk. He looked a bit surprised that I was quite good.

“You're making it hard for me. All I can do is freezeeeeee.” I paused for a moment.

“What I mean is, all I need is, just a little emotion. Cause all I see is you’re not feeling… And you're giving me nothing…”

“Nice… I tried to do you right, why'd you have to go and turn to ice oo-ooo,” and at the end of the chorus I failed because I laughed at it so I stopped my guitar and put it down. I looked up to Nat once again, and I didn’t expect the way he looked; he looked like he’d just seen a ghost.

“That’s….unexpected, kay,” he commented. “But still, I don’t think you can play drums from what I heard earlier.”

“Well, umm.. yes I have to admit, I don’t play drums.” I shrugged “But you look good when you play them,” I told him and I immiediatley regretted my words because I saw Nat smirked mischievously.

“You think I look good?” his grin even grew wider.

“I mean your performance, douche,” I said as he laughed with amusement at me. “I can show you how to play them. Scoot over…” he told me. And since it’s a single stool, I got off from the stool and let Nat sit on his ‘kingdom’.

Still holding his drumsticks, he played with one of them as he rolled it through his fingers. Ugh, show off. He began to hit one of the little drums over there and snapped something to make some good beats. His legs hit on the pedal down there and then there came some rushing loud beat from it then he hit some cymbals on his left to end his performance.

“You can’t just randomly hit the drums, you have to make some good beats from it. Here, try it for yourself,” he offered his drumsticks to me and then I shooed him from the stool, but he remained there. “Here, I’ll teach you. You can sit here… umm if you want.” He patted his lap and I couldn’t help but blush at this. Did he just ask me to sit on his lap? I needed some palmed face.

I awkwardly put my butt on his lap while he adjusted his seat. “I never thought you were this heavy,” he chuckled.

“Oh shut up,” I turned my head to him which I shouldn’t have done because it made our faces almost pressed against each other. I quickly turned back to the drums.

“This is Bass Drum,” he pointed to the big drum on the floor where it had a pedal attached. “You put your right foot there and start some deepest tone. And mine here is a Bass Drum with a double pedal, so you need to hold your left foot on the other pedal, then stomp your right foot in rhythm,” he told me as I put my foot there and started some failed ‘boom-boom-boom’ there. Nat laughed in a pleasant way to show how newbie I was being.

“This, this, this and this are Toms; they’re divided into groups. This is Snare Drum that can make a snappy sound,” he pointed to the smaller of drums beside the Bass Drum. “This is Ride Cymbal, Crash Cymbal and Hi-Hat. Hi-Hat will clap together and make some good sizzling sound when you stomp on the foot pedal beneath the high stand.” He pointed two smaller cymbals that could clap together.

“By that means, you don’t only play one instrument, yeah? You play a lot of these types of drums,” I said to him without turning my head to him.

“Oh yeah, drums are more complicated because I deal with several of drums. And that’s not just it, my hands and my feet have to make different taps on the drums and the pedal so I can produce the worthy beats. I consider myself like an octopus because all my tentacles, or let’s say my hands and feet are moving in a different direction and movemen,t” he explained as he got my drumsticks and started to play with the Hi-Hat and the Snare Drum.

“Try it, it’s just some simple beats,” he told me and gave the drumsticks back for me to drum. I laughed cynically and told him that I wasn’t that expert on drums, but he insisted. He grabbed my tiny hands and motioned with me the rhythmical beats he just showed me. There was a tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach when he wrapped his hands around mine as we drummed.

“Way to be a stupid drummer, am I?” I said to him as he chuckled. I continued to drum randomly with some made up beats as he watched me.

“You know, I think you’re pretty good on singing,” he began again as I pressed my foot on the Bass Drum pedal.

“Well, thanks.” I gave my crooked smile to him as I slightly turned my face on him.

“No shit, seriously, you’re good. You need to give it a shot sometime. I didn't know you were talented. You sing, and you play various stuff.”

“Umm, I’m not. My Mom got me into a church choir when I was eight but I stopped when I was thirteen because she got me into a religious band for the church. But then I quit because I figured out that I’m not into those religious things. I mean not that I don’t believe in God or what, but I’m not one of them, those religious people,” I explained to him while I still randomly drummed the Tom Toms.

“Geez, you are actually talented, aren’t you? You need to give it a shot, Sav, really.”

“Bands are complicated. I don’t need to deal with one,” I chuckled.

“Oh well, since you dated someone in a band and you are dating a drummer at the moment, you don’t consider that you’re involved with bands?” Nat lightly laughed and grinned like a little kid.

“Oh yeah, I forgot you’re my boyfriend now,” I teased him and joined the laughter, meanwhile I thought the joke between us was a bit awkward because Nat wasn’t really my boyfriend.

“Oh yeah, and I love my girlfrieeeeeend,” he made some squishy yet feminine sound when he told me that. I laughed aloud when he wrapped his strong arms around me. He spun me around on the stool with our sitting form as if it was a ride and then moments later he stopped. His hand found itself in my red locks, and put it aside on my shoulder.

“You know what, your hair smells really good.” He took some strings of my hair and sniffed it. I awkwardly turned my head to him; this was too intense for me to handle. I mean, he wasn’t supposed to touch my hair or even sniff it. It’s too boyfriend-ly and we’re not at school.

Then, the most astonishing was when Nat sniffed my nape like a freak. This was not good.

I abruptly got up from his lap and laughed nervously. “We should join the others. What are they doing?” I managed my words in between my nervous stutters. I stood next to him while I adjusted my hair.

“They’re about to watch Star Wars, I think?” Nat probably found the awkward tension between us because he suddenly rubbed his nape with a blushing face. I nodded and then walked toward the door.

“You coming?” I turned my head back to him. He nodded as he jumped up from the drumset and he joined me.

An hour later, I found myself getting irritated at what Dante and Corey did in the darkness. Yes, Kale turned all the lights off in the TV room so it would be more fun. I pulled my knees up to my chest and felt desperate again from listening to their disturbing kissy sounds. I couldn’t believe that Dante was making out with her shamelessly, and I could hear them.

My eyes scanned the room where everyone was watching there. Kale and Bridget were on the couch, snuggling. Bridget laid her head on Kale’s chest, looking comfortable. Dante and Corey made themselves known with their loud kissy sounds on the mattress that Kale had provided (since everyone was staying for the night and Kale had decided to provide some extra mattress' so it would make some togetherness between us). Carlton was already asleep on the other mattress next to me, he was snuggling into his pillow as he snored a bit. And Geoff was weirdly sat next to Kat, he looked amused to talk with Kat but I just hoped he wouldn’t bait Kat into his filthy manwhore-ish manner.

I wished I could stuff Corey’s mouth with some pillow to stop her kissing Dante. I even plugged my ears to stop the noisy sound from them.

“Could you two stop? Get some room, or maybe you can take the backyard so you can make out shamelessly, you both can fuck in the pool if you’d like. Just stop the annoying sound here, I’m trying to catch up with this movie,” Nat said from behind my back. He was leaning on couch’s leg and I sat right in front of him in between his legs. Yes, our position was too awkward and too couple-y minus the disgusting make out session. Well maybe his hands found their way to wrap my waist and my back was pressed against his chest.

“Nat’s right, Stop being a stuck up bastard here, you weren’t the kind of guy who likes PDA back then, Dan,” Kale commented lazily. But I heard the hint about my relationship with Dante.

Yes, we rarely shared some disgusting affection with people. We liked it more intimate and in private. Oh fuck! Did I just remember my moments with Dante? Ugh.

I turned to Dante and Corey who had a flush of crimson creeping up on their faces.

“Oh please Nat, if you’re that horny to watch us, why don’t you just grab your girl already and grope her. You’re just jealous that me and Dante are a cute couple,” Corey retorted as Dante shushed her lightly.

“YOU DON’T TALK TO SAVANNAH LIKE THAT!” Nat burst out. I turned my head. He was glaring at Corey in the darkness and he was pointing out to her. “I thought you could find some classy bitch to date not this trash, Dante.”

“Nathaniel! You can’t talk about my date that way! She’s my girl!” Dante roared back as Corey gasped in disbelief because Nat just called her trash.

“Hey Nat, keep it low, I’m trying to concentrate here,” Geoff commented, “You can’t tell them to shut up, they’re a couple, and they do what couples usually do, what’s the problem, huh? I think Corey and Dante are a really a cute couple anyway,” Geoff yawned coolly and he sent a smirk to me. I gagged at him in the darkness while I shook my head.

“Enough guys, I’m just saying this is my house and you, Corey or Corrine whatever your name is, need to behave. I don’t really like PDA around here,” Kale said to Corey.

“You’re not my Mom, Kal-El” Corey looked annoyed and she called him partially that Kale hated because Corey just referenced him with Superman. His parents were Marvel Comics freak so they named Kale after Superman but Kale never liked the call he got when someone mocked him with Superman. “Stop bitching, kay?”

I shot Corey some dirty looks and then my tongue just slipped, “Hey, Corey there,” Corey snapped her head up to me with an obvious face. “You wern't even invited here. You’re the one who needs stop bitching because you’re just no one here,” I muttered to her bitterly.

Corey in an instant dropped her jaw and got off from where she laid. She stormed out from the TV room as Dante tried to call her. Before he was about to catch up with Corey, Dante turned to me with rage on his eyes. Then he just left.

“Oh great job, Savannah! You just made Dante pissed off. Let’s just cross our fingers he won’t bail for tomorrow’s show. What a bitch of you,” Geoff shot me one of his infamous glares while I remained in silence. This time Geoff might be right. I shouldn’t have blurted out that way, causing Dante to leave. I just wished Dante wouldn’t be that mad to bail from the show tomorrow.

“Easy, he’ll come along. Dante isn’t the type of guy who will abandon his band over some bitch like that,” Nat whispered from my back as he rubbed my forearm gently. “He’ll be okay. Don’t let Geoff get under your skin,” he said before giving me a light peck on my cheek.

It was actually sweet that he stood up for me, but…

As his lips pressed against my cheek, I could feel something burst inside me and my stomach couldn’t stop churning. Nat should stop doing that as if I was his girlfriend, in front of his band mates. I didn’t mind if Kale kissed me on the cheek because we’re best friends, but this was Nat, the guy who used to hate me and he DID not just kiss me like that.

It’s not even just the kiss on the cheek, it was something more than I could describe. His lips lingered longer there and he even hugged me from back. Oh how cliché and romantic, huh? I might like the way he showed his affection near me if I was his, but…

This just got wrong and worse. He couldn’t reason if he liked to kiss me (from the fact what he tried to tell me today in the canteen), it’s wrong okay, Nathaniel? It’s really wrong!

“I think I’m going to sleep,” I said to Nathaniel and quickly let myself out from his disturbing yet comfortable embrace. I positioned myself next to Carlton and stuffed some pillows beneath my head while Nat looked at me oddly. The rest of guys stayed up to watch Star Wars.