Give up Forever to Touch You

Brian groaned loudly into the pillow as his head pounded. “Fuck.” He muttered, memories from the previous day filling his head. Slowly he turned over so that he was led on his back, bringing his hands up to his face. He sat up, pressing his fingertips to his temple, massaging them in the hope of getting rid of the pounding. He cringed at the thought of what he'd said to Andie. He needed to apologise, and it had to be the mother of all apologies. He hadn't meant what he said, he was just upset at what Connor had said to him and had taken it out on the wrong person.

He glanced at the clock; it was too early and he was too hung over to go and see Andie. He needed to clear his head and think about what he needed to do to make things right. He got out of bed, knowing that the best way to clear his head was to go for a surf.

Stepping out of the ocean and walking back up the beach with his board, Brian did indeed feel refreshed and clear headed, however he still had no idea how he could make it up to Andie. He needed to show here that he loved her and that he didn't resent ever meeting her; he just didn't know how big a gesture was needed.

He walked slowly back to Jimmy's and took a leisurely shower before getting dressed and heading down to the kitchen where he found Jimmy with a mug off coffee and a plate stacked with toast.

"You were up early this morning.'' Jimmy said glancing up to look at him as he took a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Needed to clear my head.'' he replied sitting down opposite him and taking a slice of toast.

"Have you figured out what you need to do?'' he asked as his best friend shook his head.

"I have no idea how to make this right. I need to show Andie that I don't resent meeting her, but it needs to be more than just words. I need to show her that I love her.'' he replied.

"You could ask her to marry you.'' Jimmy teased, shaking his head as Brian's eyes widened with a smile. "No dude, you're not even divorced yet. Has she even told you she loves you yet?''

Brian sighed, knowing Jimmy was right. It was too soon for marriage proposals.

"Later dude, I've got an idea.'' he said suddenly with a confident smile as he stood up.

"Dude, wait, I don't want you fucking this up completely by doing something stupid.'' Jimmy called after him.

*~*

Andie had found it hard to sleep; only managing a couple of hours at the most as she found herself thinking about what had happened with Brian. Despite her conversation with Rhian, his cold, drunken words still rang through her mind. She couldn't help but think about the words her mother would always say to her father before he left...''A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.''

What if she was right? What if Brian had drunkenly voiced how he really felt about her? What if he really did resent meeting her? Regret all that happened? Regrets leaving Michelle for her?

She sat in the nursery in Brian's house, watching Abi on her play mat, pushing her self over onto her stomach before rolling back onto her back again. As she was getting older she was starting to look more and more like Brian. As she was loosing the initial baby weight it was becoming clear that she has Brian’s cheek bones. She was simply beautiful. Just like her father.

She slowly reached a hand up to wipe the stray tear off her cheek as she thought about the possibility of not being with him, of not being a family, not having a future together. She hated the thought of only having Brian in her life as Abigail’s father. She’d finally admitted that she’d wanted there to be more with him, only to be faced with the possibility of not having that happen.

She looked up to see Rhian stood in the door way, leaning against the frame. “You okay sweetie?”

“I don’t know.” Andie replied truthfully.

“You still worried about what Brian said?” she asked watching as Andie nodded. “Sweetie I thought you were okay after we’d talked yesterday. I thought you were looking forward to seeing him later?”

Andie took a deep breath as she stood from the chair and picked Abi up into her arms. “I was. But then I spent half the night awake with his words going around in my mind. What if he’s woken up this morning and realised he was right, that he should never have left Michelle, that he doesn’t want to be with me?”

“I really doubt that’s going to be the case.” She replied.

“Have you heard off Jimmy this morning?” Andie asked, Rhian more than aware that it was a hint to find out if he’d mentioned Brian.

“He said that Brian was up early, he thinks he went for a surf.” She told her with a small smile.

“Did he mention what time Brian was going to come over?” she asked.

“Not exactly. But he did say that he was helping Brian with something, won’t tell me what.” she replied with a smile.

“Hopefully it’s not anything bad.” Andie muttered as she walked past Rhian into the hallway.

After putting Abigail down for her afternoon nap, Andie let out a long sigh as she slowly made her way back down the stairs. she’d been hoping that Brian would have been around by now. Surly if he had regretted what he’d said he would have wanted to come around as soon as possible to apologise? She paused on the bottom stair, her heart skipping a beat at the sound of the doorbell, only for her to sigh at the realisation that it was Brian’s house and he would just walk in. she proceeded to the door, opening it to find a guy stood there with a large bouquet of white and purple Calla lilies. “Andrea Jennings?” he asked, peering around the bouquet.

“Yes.” she whispered a small smile appearing on her lips.

“For you.” he said handing them over.

“Me?” she asked as she took hold of them. He simply nodded and walked away.

“Whoa, are those off Brian?” Rhian asked walking into the room.

“I haven’t read the card yet, but yeah, who else would send me flowers?” she replied placing them gently onto the table and locating the card.

“What’s it say?” Rhian asked.

“These don’t begin to make up for I said, but hopefully it’s a start. I love you Andrea Jennings. More than you know. B. and four kisses.” Andie said reading out the handwritten card, the smile on her face growing.

“I told you he loves you. He even knows your favourite flowers.” Rhian said with a smile. “Now we need to get these in some water.”

Andie nodded, still smiling as she read the card again while Rhian took the flowers into the kitchen.

“I wonder what else he’s going to do to apologise?” Rhian mused as she returned with the flowers arranged beautifully in a large vase, looking around the room for the best place for them.

“I don’t know. Guess I’ll just have to wait and see.” She said with a smile as Rhian’s cell buzzed in her pocket.

“Doesn’t look as if you’re going to wait too long. Jimmy’s wants to make sure that you’re still here.” She said as she sent her reply.

A smile spread quickly across Andie’s face as she swallowed hard. “I’m suddenly feeling kind of nervous about this.” she said running her hand across her stomach which was doing flips on the inside.

“You’ll be fine.” Rhian whispered with an encouraging squeeze to her knee as the doorbell rang once more. They both looked up at the door and then each other.

“I’ll go.” Rhian said getting up.

“Does she want to see him?” Jimmy asked as she opened the door.

Rhian turned to face Andie who nodded and took another deep breath. “Just so long as he knows that he better not break her heart.” She warned glaring at Brian who was stood nervously behind Jimmy.

“I’m not planning to Rhi, I wanna make things right again. I love her.” Brian said quietly.

“You better go tell her that then.” She said standing back from the door to let him in.
Brian nervously took a step forward into the house, his hand running across the back of his neck as he looked over at Andie.

“Come on Jim, I think I hear Abi crying.” Rhian said taking hold of his hand and dragging him towards the stairs.

“I don’t hear any – oh, okay, yeah I hear it too.” he said quickly after gaining a glare from Rhian.

“Do you um, like the um, flowers?” Brian managed to stutter out quietly as he took a few more nervous steps towards Andie.

“I love them. They’re my favourite.” She replied in almost a whisper.

“Good.” He said sitting down next to her on the sofa. “Andie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said yesterday. I was hammered, and I know that’s not an excuse but Connor had just told me he hated me, and you and Abi too. I didn’t know how to deal with it and I ended up dealing with it badly and fucking everything up again.” he began, reaching over to take hold of her hand.

“Those words hurt Brian. They ripped apart my heart.” She muttered, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

“I know, and that’s killing me more than anything else right now. I love you Andie. I don’t resent meeting you for one second and I certainly don’t regret what’s happened between us.” He said, reaching a calloused thumb up to wipe away the tear that escaped and trickled down her cheek. “I know I’ve been a dick and don’t deserve you but I don’t want to lose you because of this. I’ve loved the relationship we’ve built over the past few months and I’ve been hoping that it was developing into something more. I want a future with you Andie. I want us to be a family together. I want to make you happy, more than happy, and although I know you’re not quite in the same place as I am right now when it comes to us, I love you and at some point in our future I want us to get married and be a proper family, and that’s why I want you to have this.” he paused holding out a small red ring box.

“It’s a promise ring. I want you to know that I love you and that once the divorce is final I’m going to ask you to marry me, that’s if you still want to be with me after the way I acted last night.” He said as he watched Andie’s face as a smile began to tug at her lips.

Slowly she lifted her gaze to his, the smile widening “I love you too Brian and I want us to be a family too.”

“You do?” Brian asked quietly.

“Yes, what you said yesterday; it hurt so much that it made me realise how much I actually do love you.” she replied, Brian’s lips instantly finding hers in a brief kiss.

He then took the ring out of the box and slipped it onto Andie’s finger studying it for a short moment before lifting his gaze to hers again and crashed his lips to hers.

“I fucking love you Andie.” he breathed against her lips, resting his forehead against hers as he laced his fingers with hers.
“I love you too.” she replied pecking his lips again. “And we’ll work things out with Connor together.”

“No, it my-“

“Together.” she repeated sternly with a smile.

“I think we’re good to go, they look happy.” Jimmy’s hushed voice drew their gaze away from each other.

“Sorry guys, Abi woke up and I think she wants a bottle.” Rhian said as she followed Jimmy down the stairs with Abi in her arms.

“That’s okay Rhi, do you want me to do it?” Andie said.

“Here, you have her, I’ll get her bottle, then Jimmy and me will leave you two to it.” she replied, passing Andie her daughter.

After giving Andie Abigail’s bottle and not so subtly telling her to ring her with details later, Jimmy and Rhian left, leaving Brian, Andie and Abigail on the sofa as Abi drank her bottle.

“Move in with me.” Brian said suddenly breaking the silence.

“What? Bri I –“ she stuttered.

“Move in with me. We love each other, we have a daughter together. Move in.” he said.

“Okay.” she replied with a beaming smile, leaning across to kiss his lips.