Inside of You

*1 MONTH LATER*

It’s been a month since all the hectic crap ensued in my life. It’s been a month that Andy’s been away. No one has heard from her since the day we drove her to the airport.

The only time I hear about her is when I receive calls from Mr. Helyer telling me that she’s been responding positively to treatment. He even tells me that it’s as if nothing was ever wrong with her. I should be happy but learning about these things mean only one thing: I was that one thing that made her tick. I was the person who turned her into some kind of monster and I was the one who pushed her off the edge when she didn’t want to move. The thing is, though, I really don’t know what it was about me that made her hate me. It would’ve helped a lot if she spoke up but she’s far away from me now and I think it’s best if the world keeps spinning like this.

John and I have been having the best times of our lives and there hasn’t been a day where he hasn’t been there for me. Come to think of it, he’s never actually left my side. We were like two peas in a pod. He even brought me to the studio while they recorded their new album – which was kind of boring but it also had its perks. It was amazing how five guys could get so serious and then act like themselves a millisecond later. I could never ask for better friends.

Everything in life was passing by smoothly now. It’s actually surprising that problems have stopped popping up here and there. I’m not complaining, I’m just relieved – I guess – to say the least.

When I woke up this morning, I was alone. I saw a note at the side of my bed from John. I picked it up sloppily and blinked a few times before really reading the numbers written on the piece of paper.

8123

I smiled as I put the paper aside and got up. He wanted to meet me at the parking lot we all hung out in. I waltzed to the bathroom and did what every other girl does in the bathroom in the morning and prepared for the day. It took about an hour to finish showering and changing – which was pretty normal. I blow-dried my hair and grabbed my bag, phone and keys.

My phone started vibrating when I reached the bottom steps of the stairs. John was calling.

“What’s up?” I greeted casually as I strolled into the kitchen.

“Where are you?” he asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“In the kitchen, getting something to eat,” I said, grabbing an apple from the fruit basket. I washed it with one hand and bit into it. “What’s the rush?”

“Didn’t you see my note?”

“I did,” I said, moving towards the front door.

“And…?”

“I’m heading there now.” I locked the door before closing and ended the call.

I got into the car and drove to the lot. It took about 25 minutes to get there. Once I got out of the car, I saw everyone – including Tim – huddled in a circle. Inside of You was playing in the background. I smiled as I remembered the first night I ever heard John play this song for me. It hit me only now that I was actually the first

I hurried towards them and tried to listen in on what they were discussing about. However, as soon as they heard me coming, they stopped talking.

“Took you long enough,” complained Kennedy. I rolled my eyes and punched him on the arm. “Hey! That was uncalled for!”

I laughed as he rubbed his arm but stopped abruptly when my eyes locked in on John’s. It was pretty hard to read him under all the seriousness. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so serious since a month ago.

I scanned everyone else’s faces but they were avoiding my gaze. This was awkward.

“We have something to tell you,” Tim started.

“What is it?” I asked a little too eagerly.

Everyone looked me in the eye. I hated being under this spotlight. It made me feel guilty even though I didn’t do anything wrong. Their eyes were shooting holes into my skull and it was hard to avoid them. Even when I wasn’t looking straight at everyone, I could feel their stares creeping up on me.

I was counting the seconds as they ticked. But as soon as I counted to ten, everyone started looking at each other as if they were giving cues. Then with a three second head count, my ears went through a temporary deafness.

“WE’RE HEADLINING A TOUR!” Everyone shouted at once. The hair at the back of my neck stood as they shocked me with that kind of news.

Everyone was laughing at my reaction but John was merely smiling. I was really, really happy for them. I hugged each member and cherished this moment. But when I got to John, he didn’t give the same kind of enthusiasm as he hugged me. It was a lazy hug.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, taking his hand and walking to the side so we could get a little space.

“Nothing,” he said, tucking strands of my hair behind my ear. His fingertips were cold. That meant that he was nervous about something.

“Your fingers are cold. It’s not nothing, John.”

“Fine,” he muttered with a sigh. “I just don’t want to have to be away from you for a whole month.”

“Well if it makes you feel any better, you survived a year without seeing me.” I tried to lighten him up but his face showed nothing other than solemnity.

“This isn’t a joking matter and I was practically a living zombie in that tour and I really don’t want to have to feel that way ever again.”

“John, I don’t want to hinder you from your dreams. This is where you’ve always wanted to be. Don’t let me get in the way.”

“But you are in the way,” he said, taking my hand and wrapping it in his.

His palm was sweating but I didn’t care. We really did have a problem at hand and I wasn’t sure how we were going to solve this.

He looked down at me with this weird look. He was on the verge of breaking and I hated how he felt so torn about this. I was tempted to run but that was so last year. I needed a change.

I was thinking and overanalyzing too much that I didn’t really comprehend anything he said after his last statement.

“What?” I asked and questioned his change of facial expression. It took one blink for him to switch from a frown to a big, goofy smile.

“I said you’re coming with us!” he screamed in my ear, picking me up and spinning in a circle with me in his arms.

When he placed my feet back on the ground, he watched my reaction. But, I wasn’t reacting. I was too astounded to actually feel anything. I was going on tour with The Maine.

A smile slowly crept up on my face and I let out a girly scream as I jumped on John and tackled him with a hug. I locked my legs around him so he wouldn’t have to exert much effort. I kissed him with so much passion and everyone was hooting in the background but I didn’t care who saw because in that moment, I was in pure bliss.