Nothing in This World Can Compare to You

It’s been a few days since I moved into my mom’s house. Like he promised, Dylan brought my baby, my beagle dog here, and since then I’ve only left my bedroom to go to my ‘bachelor pad’. I haven’t even eaten. I’m just not hungry, I guess. No appetite at all. But can you blame me? I’m still adjusting to my new life and it’s going to take a while. But at least I have one constant companion who understands me. Good ol’ Chocolate.

I woke up mid-morning and trudged straight down to my bachelor pad to see my dog. Sure enough, Chocolate was wide awake, whining at the door to be let out to do his business. I chuckled and let him scamper up the stairs from the basement, following him into the garden so I can clean up after he’s finished. I’m not going to leave my dog’s mess lying around, am I? After Chocolate was done, we went back down to the basement. I turned on my stereo and sat down on one of the leather sofas, patting the seat next to me so Chocolate would jump up. He did. But today my dog looked sad, for some reason. What? Dog’s have emotions too!

“What’s wrong boy?” I frowned, scratching behind his ear.

Chocolate whined and nudged my wrist. The wrist with the overlapping heart tattoo that matched with Nate’s. I froze as numbness ran through me. I guess my dog really isn’t dumb – he must’ve somehow remembered that Nate and I had the same ‘markings’.

“You miss him too, huh?” I sighed.

Chocolate looked up at me, whining again. I frowned, tucking my legs up to my chin. Nate didn’t even likeour my dog!

“Well he’s gone. And we’re better off without him,” I grumbled.

My beagle made a whimpering sound, laying his head down on the sofa seat. I guess he really does miss Nateas much as I do, even though he shouldn’t. Nate didn’t want me or our dog, and that is that. I will get over it. Eventually.

*

It was hours later when I heard a knock on the door. I hadn’t moved from my spot on the sofa, but I did now, my joints creaking and popping a little. With a wince I walked over to the door and opened it, smiling softly upon seeing my mom.

“I’ve got something to show you upstairs,” she said excitedly.

“You’re not going to make me try on a dress again, are you?” I whined in protest.

“Not this time,” she laughed, grabbing my hand.

I may be gay, but that doesn’t mean she can dress me up like a Barbie doll! I swear my mom and Misty are wayyy too similar! My mom stopped outside the living room, and put her hands over my eyes.

“Mom, what’s going on?” I asked nervously.

“I’ve got a surprise for you!” she said happily.

I sighed but let her push me forward into the room. When she stopped me and released her hands, I blinked a few times to get my vision to focus. But who I saw wasn’t who I was expecting.

“OSCAR!!” I shrieked.

“Hey Ash!” my old friend laughed.

I leapt at him, hugging him tightly with my arms round his neck and legs round his waist. Oscar didn’t hesitate to hug back tightly, grinning madly. Fuck, it has been far too long since he visited, it really has. My mom smiled and backed out of the room, giving us some privacy.

“You’re definitely more inked than the last time I came down,” Oscar teased, setting me to my feet.

“Eh, you know me. Why are you here? I thought you weren’t going to be coming back for a while,” I said, confused through my elation.

Oscar rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, something he always did when he didn’t want to say something.

“Dylan called me,” he finally said.

Oh. Well it’s obvious what Dylan called about.

“I see,” I sighed, running my hand through my messy blonde hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me straight away, Ash? You know I would drop anything for you,” Oscar frowned.

“Your career is damn important, Oscar. I couldn’t tear that away from you,” I reasoned, looking up at him with slightly teary eyes.

“Friends come before everything, you know that,” Oscar said seriously.

I just nodded miserably, my bottom lip trembling as the emotions washed over me again.

“Dylan also told me you aren’t eating much. He’s worried,” Oscar confessed, trying to keep me from crying.

“He shouldn’t be. I’m just not hungry,” I shrugged, sniffing.

“You’ve got to eat, Ash. You can’t rot away like this. You’re fucking skinny enough as it is,” Oscar protested, picking my small wrist up with his hand.

“I know, I know! I’m…It’s just hard, okay? Without him,” I said, hissing the last part.

“How are you coping?” Oscar asked softly, his mood changing.

I sighed and sat down on the nearest chair, Oscar copying and sitting in the one opposite.

“Not very well. I spent my crucial maturing years with Nate and now that he doesn’t want anything to do with me…it hurts, Oscar. It fucking hurts. He was the man that healed me after Shane, and then he ripped my heart out in an even worse way! And on top of all this – I worry about him. He has no friends left, no-one at all, and I can’t help but hate that he’s all alone, even after what he did to me. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him. We had so much planned,” I whispered.

I hadn’t confessed any of this to anyone yet. Dylan’s not good with emotions, Misty’s away on vacation and my mom…well, you don’t talk about things like this with your mom, do you?! Oscar always been the best at giving advice, and he never judges me.

“All I can say is this. Don’t try to purposely forget about Nate, because that’ll hurt more. Just…push him to the back of your mind. He’s still there, but not at the forefront of your thoughts. That’s the only way you’ll start to heal properly. Otherwise it’s going to be the same pain over and over again. It’s not healthy, Ash,” Oscar said softly.

“I…I guess you’re right,” I mumbled after a short pause.

“I worry about you Ash, that’s all,” Oscar said simply.

I smiled weakly up at him in thanks.

“How long are you in San Marino for?” I asked, changing the subject to a much less painful one.

“About a week. Josh is coming down at the end of the week to see Geoff, and then we’re going back to Montreal together. Which reminds me – my half-brother Stephen is having a barbecue tomorrow afternoon to celebrate his engagement,” Oscar grinned.

“Stephen’s engaged? That’s great!” I said happily.

“I know right? Dylan and his family are going, including his brother Aiden. And Misty’s bringing her sister Holly as well as your brother and their kid. And then there’s a bunch of other people you won’t know, but you have to come! Stephen hasn’t seen you in ages!” Oscar pleaded.

I laughed, rolling my eyes playfully. I’d always gotten on well with Oscar’s half-brother Stephen, as well as Dylan’s brother Aiden, seeing as they were all in Sam’s year at school and friends with Sam.

“Yeah, I’ll be there. Can you pick me up though? I still can’t drive,” I asked sheepishly.

“Sure thing. I missed you, Ash,” Oscar smiled, ruffling my hair.

“Missed you too,” I smiled back.

Even though Nate was now gone from my life, the gaping hole in my chest was eased just by the thought of Oscar being home for a while. I don’t know what I’ll be like when Oscar goes, but for now, I’m going to take advantage of his hugs and advice. It feels good to have my rock back, that’s for sure.