Nothing in This World Can Compare to You

I woke up with a pounding head and the desire to empty the contents of my stomach. Throwing the covers off me, I ran into the bathroom and hunched over the toilet, retching and spluttering until I couldn’t any more. With a groan, I flushed the chain and washed my face in the sink. Why did I have to drink so much last night? Wait…this isn’t my bathroom…

“Oh fuck,” I whispered.

I clutched the sink as memories flooded back. Memories of me sucking off Dan. Of Dan screaming my name. Of Dan all the way inside me and thrusting like an animal. And then me passing out in his arms when my orgasm finished. Oh fuck. I ran out the bathroom and back into Dan’s bedroom, halting when I saw Dan spread-eagled on the bed with no sheet covering him. Mm, nice dick. And I had that of me. No! Stop thinking like this!

“Dan!” I hissed.

No movement. I sighed impatiently and tugged on my boxers, picking up Dan’s too. I walked over to his bed and sat down right next to him, and shook him gently till he woke. His eyes fluttered open and he took one glance at himself, and then me, before closing his eyes and groaning.

“Oh fuck,” he cursed.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I whimpered.

Dan ran a hand through his hair, before sitting up and looking at me.

“Last night wasn’t meant to happen, was it?” he asked quietly.

“Well…I kinda planned it to,” I mumbled.

Dan’s eyebrows shot right up, and a pang of hurt flashed across his eyes. This made tears sting my own eyes. Wonderful, I’ve just ruined one of the only friendships I have left.

“I guess I should’ve known,” Dan sighed, pulling the bedsheet over himself.

A sob choked up my throat. No Dan!

“Please don’t think of yourself like that. I wanted someone to make me feel good, even just for one night! And you did! You really did,” I begged.

“I really made you feel good?” Dan asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you did. But now I feel like shit for being such a jerk to you,” I whined, dropping my head.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Dan soothed, cupping my cheek with his hand.

“What?” I sniffed.

“It’s okay. This is all…okay. I know you don’t like me like that and you never will do. I don’t want to lose your friendship, Ash,” Dan said softly.

“But I used you! How could you want to be friends with me after that?” I exasperated.

“Because I used you too?” Dan offered.

“Not even in the same league,” I retorted.

“True. But I could’ve stopped you. I should’ve stopped you. But I didn’t and that was wrong of me,” Dan shrugged.

“Stop apologizing, seriously. I’m the asshole that used you for sex, so just stop,” I muttered.

Why does he have to be such a nice person?!

“Alright, calm down,” Dan chuckled, “Just know that I’m not going to start hating you because of what happened between us. I don’t regret it,”

“You don’t?” I asked hesitantly.

“No, I don’t. Why, do you?” Dan frowned.

“Hell no. I just…don’t want a relationship with anyone right now,” I sighed, hating myself for saying all this.

I really do hate myself. Dan is the kind of guy I should be with. He’s gorgeous, funny, smart, and we have a lot in common. But I just don’t feel for him that way, and I can’t lead him on when I know he likes me. I’m not that cruel.

“I know. I know you’re still hurting, Ash, and I accept that. At least I got one chance, right?” Dan said with a weak smile.

I paused for a second, before smiling.

“Well we haven’t left your bed yet, have we?” I said innocently, running my fingers up his thigh.

“I have to be at work in an hour,” Dan groaned, making no move to stop me as I latched my lips to his neck.

“Plenty of time,” I purred into his ear.

*

An hour and a half later, Dan and I walked into Darla Designs. My bad.

“Dan! Where have you been…oh, morning Ash,” my mom said, confused.

“Uh, I need to talk to you. I’ll see you later, Dan?” I said with a forced smile.

“Yeah, later,” Dan nodded.

My mom raised an eyebrow as I grabbed her hand, but didn’t stop me pulling her along to her office. As soon as the door was shut, she gave me her best glare.

“Spill,” my mom ordered.

“I used Dan for sex,” I blurted.

“WHAT?!” my mom shrieked.

“I know, I know, I’m a complete asshole. It’s just…Nate’s got a girlfriend, and I couldn’t handle being alone, even just for one night. I used the nicest person in the world just to try to forget my ex, and I feel like complete shit about it,” I rambled.

“Ohhhh Ash,” my mom groaned, running a hand through her hair.

“I get it, okay? I’m a horrible person,” I muttered.

“Why Dan? Why not a random stranger?” my mom exasperated.

Fuck, I don’t really want to say this. But I know I have to.

“Because I knew Dan would sleep with me,” I whispered.

I winced at the look in my mom’s eyes – the look of disappointment. With a whine, I flopped down onto the leather sofa in the corner of the room and curled into a ball. I’ve really fucked up this time. A few minutes passed with my mom pacing the room, deep in thought, and me crying into my knees. Yes, crying. I may be 23 years old, but I still need a good cry every now and again.

“I can’t do this mom. I’m just messing everything up more and more, and I need to get out of here,” I whimpered, breaking the silence.

“You want to get out?” my mom asked softly.

“Yeah,” I nodded, looking up at her.

“Come with me to Paris. Fashion week is in two weeks time, but I have consultancies before and after that time, so spend a month away with me. I can finally introduce the fashion world to my son,” my mom suggested.

“You’d really do that for me?” I gasped, sitting upright.

“Sure, what’s the point of being a fashion designer’s son if you can’t enjoy the perks, eh?” my mom winked.

“That was kinda gross coming from you,” I grimaced.

“Hey, I don’t care what you do as long as I don’t have to watch it,” my mom laughed.

Eww! My mom just laughed harder at my facial expression. That’s just nasty! But…French men are kinda cute…

“I’m going to call Fabien to make the arrangements. Maybe you do need some time away,” my mom smiled, squeezing my hand.

“Maybe I do,” I nodded, smiling back.

Maybe this’ll just make everything worse.