Emotionless

The week passed by and soon Monday came all over again. Magically, I managed to wake up early enough to shower and prepare for the day of work rather than running around like a blue arssed fly. Johnny had phoned earlier, obviously hearing from Pippa about what happened the other day. But, I needed something to distract me from thinking. Matt was right, though. I was heartless and needed emotions. Checking my phone, I noticed that no one had even bothered to text or phone me since last night except for River who text me to say ‘well done’ and ‘thanks’ for the other night’s DJ show and asking why I wasn’t answering the phone. That caused pain to clench my heart as tight as it possibly could with an iron grip.

Sighing quietly to myself, I stepped into my black and white vans and ran a hand through my hair. It was still a little wet and was dripping on my back so I tied it into two plaits with my thick layers tumbling over them messily. I didn’t really care what I looked like and didn’t really bother with my make up. I just squirted on some deodorant, put some mascara on and slid my glasses up my nose. My legs were still aching from yesterday’s events, my whole body stiff and numb as I plugged in my iPod with Keep Your Hands Off My Girl playing loudly in my ears.

The bar was quiet as I kept my music on and leant my skateboard against the wall in the cellar, ready for me to finish work and head on towards the skate park for a while. Johnny was on his day off today, so Alex was running the bar with me and Elena working. Sundays were always quiet so we could just laze about until around nine o’clock and then we’d pack up and head home until Monday to start over again with a little more of a lively atmosphere in the bar. That was how we rolled. Wandering through to the main bar, I stayed quiet and got on with wiping down the tables and what not.

After wiping down the second table of the morning, Alex grabbed my wrists and pinned me against the pool table. Fear shot through my veins and caused me to squeak, seeing his eyes ablaze with worry and frustration. His auburn hair swung across his warm greenie brown eyes messily and his thin lips were hardened into a straight line. His hand hands held down my weak wrists, his body leaning over mine so I was crushed into submission as he sighed, still holding eye contact.

“Tell me.” He stared deep into my blue eyes but I just stared back. My lips were locked closed; nothing was going to slip from between them any time soon, especially being in this position. Alex waited for what felt like a century before he finally spoke again. This time, when he did, he let go of my wrists but still had his body leaning over mine assertively. “Tell me what happened last night. You left with that Zacky guy; did he do something to you? Did you and Pippa have a fight? Please, just tell me why you’re so much like a fucking zombie!”

“Shut the fuck up, Alex!” I screamed, glowering at him. His face went blank with fear as I just stared with a heaving chest. “Just, let me get through this day without being hounded, okay? I just wanna be left alone.” My voice was a little calmer now. Alex gave me a worried glance before walking away to work on the bar as the usual customers wandered into the bar. I dragged a deep breath into my lungs and let it out in a long exhale that cleared my mind. Once safely back in the state of numbness I was in earlier, I carried on with my work.

It was about ten o’clock when we’d finally finished. Standing the last stool up on the bar, I gave out a sigh that the day was finished at last. Grabbing my skateboard, I plugged my iPod in and rolled my way down the road towards the skate park which was near enough on the beach. Stars were glittering overhead, smiling mockingly down on me as I wheeled my board into the empty park. The roads were quiet, only one or two cars flashing passed the beach to avoid the lights in the main town as I set my board to one side and sat up on the ramp.

Footsteps pounding against the wooden frame that had been spray painted over the years by different kids. I didn’t bother to turn around to see who it was, so, when Pippa sat down next to me on one side and Molly flopped down next to me on the other, I couldn’t help but gasp. Pippa was smiling at me apologetically, her arms quickly circling my shoulders. Molly, on the other hand, looked behind her cautiously before hugging me tightly as well. Laying my head on Pippa’s shoulder, I felt Molly let go of me and sit back a little.

“Are you - are you crying?” Pippa asked, causing my head to shoot up and touch a hand to my cheek. Sure enough, there was water dribbling down my skin and dripping onto my chest. Quickly, I rubbed viciously at the tears but had my arms taken away by Molly who’d stopped being so self conscious and held my arms by my side. “It’s okay to cry. We’re you’re friends, we aren’t going to hurt you.” I smiled, sighing in defeat as I crossed my legs under my body.

“We love you, Kiwi. You’re the life and soul of the party; we can’t do anything without you.” Molly smiled, too, looking over my shoulder at Pippa. I hugged my younger friend as tight as I could, feeling something wet in my hair as Pippa joined in the cuddle, not wanting to be left out. “I’m sorry I lashed out at you, Kiki. I shouldn’t have done that,” Molly whispered, my hands rubbing her back soothingly.

“It’s fine, honey. I’ll try and be more careful how I word things next time,” I promised, the three of us letting go of each other and flopping backwards onto the ramp to stare at the sky. Pippa was laughing, wiping her thumb under her eye with a black smudge appearing on her skin. She was crying, too. I laughed as well, unable to hold it in anymore and Molly joined in, too. And there we were, laying on the ramp with our legs dangling over the edge, staring up at the sky. Well, all was peaceful until...

“Molly?”