The Life of a Teenager

I used to be closer to my dad than I was with my mom. Some said that I had a father complex, always wanting to be by his side. He was like my best friend, the only man I've ever loved. He loved me as much as I loved him, if not more. I am what I am because of him. My mom said that I remind her of him - stubborn, bipolar, and short tempered. Hey, I never said that my dad was the best guy out there.

I remember him punishing me for the littlest things I do. He said, "I only do this because I care about you. I don't want you to grow up like those other kids, undisciplined."

He and my mom always fought, though I never really knew the reason why. I was only a child, I didn't understand the things that the adults are fighting about. I hated seeing the two of them fight, it felt like my heart was ripping to millions of pieces.

What I do know is that my dad is alcoholic, one reason why the two of them fought almost everyday. When my dad drinks, he over does it. His friends would invite him from nine in the morning until midnight, maybe even later.

One night, I got so fed up waiting for him to come home, I picked him up from his friends house. At first, I asked him to come with me in a calm voice, but they all decided to ignore me. I started screaming at him, telling him to at least think about my mom and I. I was only eight at that time, I didn't really know what I was saying.

You know how drunk people tend to say the truth, spilling out all their feelings and thoughts? That's exactly what his friend did. One of his friends, my god father, told me that my dad had another daughter with another girl. I left, fuming. My mom asked what happened, but I kept it in to myself, thinking that I was saving her from the pain I felt.

My dad got home three or four hours later. I kicked him out, throwing all his clothes outside the house. Kicking, punching, and biting him. I couldn't control myself, my mom was getting worried. Both of them were crying. It was the first time I've ever thrown a tantrum. To calm me down, my mom knelt down in front of me, whispering the right words in my ears. "Hannah, it's alright. It was all a lie. You're dad's one and only girl in the world. He loves you too much to lie to you."

A year later, my mom and I left my dad. I don't exactly know the reason why, but I remember crying and begging her to leave me with him. Even after the biggest fight we had, I still loved my dad. I didn't care what his friends said, I could only believe the words that was coming out of my parents' mouth. I didn't trust any other adults after that.

Then, two years ago, my heart completely shattered to pieces. My heart, or what's left of it, won't allow me to love or trust any other guys in my life. I always question their motives, or how much I can really trust them.

Two years ago, when I visited my sisters, they sat me down in front of their seat, forcing me to face them. I can remember the exact words that my sisters told me. How could I? Those words were filled with pain and hatred, to the point that it broke my heart to millions of pieces.

"Hannah, sit down," the oldest told me.

They were both hesitant, but I forced them to say what they wanted to. "There's something you should know about your dad." You see, my sisters and I only share my mom's blood. "There's something we couldn't tell you back then because we knew that you wouldn't understand."

"Now, you're old enough to know everything about him," the middle one croaked. I'm the youngest out of all three of us. Even though they're only my half-sisters, they care about me more than anyone else in this world. "Although it's going to be hard for you to accept this."

With tears streaking down their face, they told me everything. When my oldest sister was fourteen, three years before I was born, my dad went to her room and touch her. It went on for a week. They couldn't tell my mom about it because they know how much she loved him, until my mom found knives under their pillows. My sisters slept with knives under their pillow, afraid that my dad would sneak in their room during the night once again.

Then, I found out that my dad had cheated on my mom twice before I was even born. They said that he slept with two other girls. What I wanted to know was, why did my mom stay with him for so long even after finding out all the things he's done to her family. "If she didn't stay with him, you wouldn't have been born."

"If I'm not in this world right now, I wouldn't feel this much pain!" I told them, screaming and crying.

My sisters gave me a hug, tears seeping out of their eyes. "Calm down, there's one more thing you should know..."

There was a pause. "Remember the fight you had with your dad back then? About him having a child?" I nodded. "That's true too. When you were one, your dad brought a kid to your house. He said that it was his friend's daughter, and she gave the baby to him because she didn't want to raise it."

"But our mom isn't as stupid as he thinks," the oldest one said. "She knew that he was lying. She knew that it was his kid from another girl. She told him that she doesn't want to see that child's face ever again."

That was when I couldn't stop my tears from falling. My whole life, the only man I've ever loved lied to my face. He pretended as if I was the only important girl in the world. Now, I know the reason why he didn't come home for a few nights almost every month. Now I know that all the things that his FRIENDS told me were the truth.

My dad is suffering from a sickness that cannot be cured and he lost all of his friends. He never apologized for the things he did to my sisters. He never apologized for hurting my mom so much. And never will he apologize for lying to me since birth.But you know what, karma is a bitch. Because of all the sin he's done, he will die with no friends and no family.