Crying On A Saturday Night

In a matter of days, life in that house was near hell. Charlotte was growing violent. During one of her convulsion fits, she bit my arm and drew blood. She scratched her skin all the time, and it had gotten to the point where she was drawing blood from herself as well. She was sick. She threw up a lot. She barely ate, and she barely slept. I started to think that if the heroin hadn't killed her, this surely would.

I carried the tray of food up to Charlotte's room for lunch. I walked in on a pathetic site. I hated that I had to resort to tying her arms and legs to the bedposts, but if I didn't she'd hurt mort people than just herself.

She rolled her head over to look at me. She basically looked lifeless. Her eyes were empty.

"I brought you food," I said as I sat the tray down on her bedside table.

"I'm not hungry," she said. Her voice was raspy; with as much as she'd been screaming lately, I'm not surprised.

"I don't care. You're gonna eat. You haven't eaten in two days," I stated firmly. She sighed in discontent.

"If you untie me, I'll eat," she mumbled.

"Alright, but I'm tying you back up if you go ape shit on me again..." I said.

She nodded, and I started untying her hands from the bed post, and then her feet. She sat up and rubbed her wrists and ankles. They were red and raw from the ropes rubbing against her skin during her fits. She looked over at the tray and picked up the bowl of Ramen noodles and slowly began to eat. She finished the entire bowl and laid back down.

"Was that good enough?" she asked. I nodded my head.

"How're you feeling?" I asked as I sat down on the edge of her bed.

"I've gone past the point where I don't really feel. I'm.... numb," she stated tonelessly. I nodded and looked out the window.

"Is this ever going to get better?"

I sighed and decided I'd be truthful with her. "I don't know... I really don't know."

"Goddamnit..." I heard her say sharply. I looked down to see her scratching at her arm.

"Stop scratching Charlie," I said as I grabbed her hands and made her stop.

"It fucking itches..." she growled at me. And then her leg jittered.

"Shit... here we go," I whispered under my breath. The jitter turned into a shake, and soon it wasn't just one leg, it was both. It traveled up her body and she started to clench her jaw before she yelled.

"Brian, make it stop!" she screamed. I was trying to hold her hands still but they broke free from my grasp. I had no choice but to grab the rope and quickly tie her up again. She started crying.

"Help me..." she sobbed. I tied up her legs before I placed my hand softly on her cheek.

"I wish there was something I could do to help you, but I -- I can't," I said as the frustration took over me. I got up and left the room, shutting the door behind me. I shut myself in the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I frowned.

"You're a failure," I said to my reflection. She started screaming again and it was driving me insane. I slumped down against the bathtub, my knees pulled up to my chest, and plugged my ears. I felt the hot tears of anger spill from my eyes.

I promised Charlotte I'd help her. I failed....

She finally quieted down and I could hear her crying. It tore me up inside because not only was she helpless.... but so was I. I left the bathroom to go downstairs where Michelle was bringing Jack inside.

"Brian, what's wrong?" Michelle asked, her face full of concern.

"Its Charlie. She's getting worse. I -- I can't take it anymore. I'm about ready to pull my hair out of my head," I said. "Listen to me Michelle, because I need you to do this. I need you to pack some stuff for you and Jack. I want you to go stay with your sister and Matt for awhile. At least until things get better. I just don't think its safe for Jack to be here and I'm running out of options."

"Can't you hand her over to rehab?" she asked.

"No, I can't. I promised her that she wouldn't go to rehab. She begged me not to... I can't break that promise," I sighed. "If you saw the look in her eyes, you would understand."

She nodded her head. "But what about you? What are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna call Zack, see if he can help at all," I sighed again. Charlotte started another fit and I winced at the sound. "Alright, you guys go pack. I have a call to make," I said.

"But Daddy, what about Sunny?" I heard Jack ask. I looked at him, seeing the sadness in his eyes. I completely forgot about that poor cat.

"Do you wanna take him with you?" I asked, and he nodded. "Alright. Go get him." I said, and then Michelle carried him upstairs with her.

I grabbed my cell off the counter and headed outside, dialing Zacky on the way.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hey, its Brian. Listen, I need your help," I said, trying to sound calm.

"O...kay? With what?" he questioned, sounding a bit confused.

"Just come over here and I'll explain it to you," I replied.

"Alright, I'll be right over," he said before he hung up.

A couple minutes later, Michelle and Jack were outside; Michelle was holding their bags while Jack was holding Sunny in his arms. I knelt down in front of him.

"You be good for your mom and Aunt Val, okay? And take good care of Sunny for Charlie." He nodded at my request. "Okay. I love you and I'll see you soon buddy," I said as I hugged my son and kissed his forehead.

"I love you too Daddy," he said quietly. I could tell he was scared.

I stood up and took my fiancée in my arms. "I'll call you when things start to get better," I whispered before I kissed her.

"Good luck Brian. I love you," she said.

"I love you too," I said, and I watched as they packed their things in the car and drove away.

Zacky arrived shortly after while I was still standing outside. Honestly, I didn't really want to go back in there right now.

"Hey man. So what's the deal?" he asked as he walked up to me.

"Long story short: Charlie got fucked up on heroin. I took her off it about a week ago and she went psycho on me. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing."

"Damn, how bad is she?" he asked.

"Worse than Johnny was when he went off it," I said as we walked toward the house. I looked over at him and he was looking back at me with wide eyes.

"Get ready... you might wanna cover your ears," I suggested, and he looked at me funny. I shrugged before I opened the door. We stepped inside and he averted his eyes to the ceiling.

"Is that her?" he asked, slightly bewildered.

"Yeah, that's her. Its been like this for days now," I said as I led him to the stairs. We got to Charlie's room and he peeked inside.

"Shit... you tied her up?" he asked as he looked back at me.

"... I had to. She's violent," I said quietly before he shut the door and turned to me.

"Okay. So why am I needed?"

"I figured since you're in pre-med now and all, you might know what the hell I should do."

He leaned against the door as he looked at the floor. He thought for a second and then looked back up at me. "Well, the easiest way involves a hell of a lot of methadone, which neither of us have. But there is another way. I don't know if you'll like the sound of it though..." he trailed off.

"What is it?"

"Well, we'd have to shoot her back up with heroin again," Zacky said, and I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Are you kidding me?! I'm trying to get her off it, not back on..." I said. Sometimes Zacky really is an idiot.

"Let me finish... We shoot her back up, and every couple of days we lower the dosage until she doesn't need it anymore. It'll be like... weaning her off it. It should work," he explained, and it actually started to sound like it made sense.

I thought about it for awhile. It was better than my idea, which obviously wasn't working at all.

"Alright... how the fuck are we gonna get heroin though?" I asked. Zacky just shrugged.

"I have my sources. I'll get it, don't you worry," he replied, and he was off on his way.