I Think We're Falling Apart

The next morning, I woke in the guest bedroom next to Adelle, the alarm going off next to my head. I slowly flung my arm over to smack the 'snooze' button, and then turned it off altogether. I lay back against the pillow, shutting my eyes, and then before I knew it, I had nodded off back to sleep.

"Hey... Vikki... get up sweetie," I heard quietly, followed with a large hand gently shaking me by the shoulder.

I groggily rolled over and opened my eyes to see Matt, though I don't really know who else I should have been expecting, since I was at his house.

I blinked a few times before I started to sit up. "Shit, what time is it?" I asked, realizing I had fallen back asleep. I looked over next to me, expecting Adelle to be sound asleep next to me. But she wasn't. I looked back to Matt, who had sat down on the bed next to my legs. "Did you...?" I asked, pointing to Adelle's place.

"Yeah," he said, nodding his head. "I figured I'd let you sleep in, since you've been a bit stressed out with all the shit going on. And it's 9," Matt finished with a warm smile.

I returned it. "Thank you. She wasn't any trouble, was she?" I asked, sitting up more.

"Nah, she was fine. Like I've said before... She's a good kid. You've raised her well."

We kind of sat there in silence for a minute or so and just looked at each other. And for the first time in probably forever, I really got a good look at Matt. His burning hazel eyes, his cleft chin, his straight nose, the scar near his lip. He was different from Brian in probably every way possible. Matt was more ruggedly masculine and handsome in a scruffy sort of way, whereas Brian was more femininely masculine (which is an oxymoron anyways) and had more of a boyish charm about him while still being manly (I think the femininity came mostly from his hair when it was longer and the eyeliner...).

And then I noticed that Matt's lips were fuller than Brian's. This was probably the first time I saw Matt in a new light. I was no longer looking at him as if he were a... friend.

He cleared his throat and I blinked back into focus. "So uh... shouldn't you get ready for work?" he asked, and I sighed.

"I really don't want to go, but I'm so booked right now that I won't be able to take a day off til probably next week if you don't count the weekend," I grumbled, and then pushed the covers from my body. I got up and stretched, yawning again. "Suppose I'll go take a shower..." I said, and Matt nodded as he stood as well. I walked across the hall to the bathroom and heard Matt walk down to his room before I shit the door. I started the water, turning the hot on until it was scalding, and then undressed and stepped into the shower.

Somehow I thought that the longer I stayed under the hot water, the more my troubles would be washed away down the drain. It wasn't so much as a thought as it was a hope, but it was too bad that things weren't always that easy. Too soon I had to step out of the shower and get on with my life before I was late for work.

I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me after drying off. I stood in front of the partially fogged mirror and ran my fingers through my hair before shutting off the lights. Holding the towel against me, I stepped out into the hallway just as Matt was coming out of his room, and we both stopped dead in our tracks.

Neither of us said a word, and I kept my eyes on Matt's, who had a hard time keeping his eyes on mine. He started to flush a little in his cheeks before clearing his throat.

"Uhhhh yeah hi," he said quietly, and I couldn't help but laugh at his nervousness.

"Hi Matt," I smiled and continued on to the guest room, shutting the door behind me. I laughed to myself about the situation as I got ready for work, and it was only quarter to 10 when I finished, giving me just enough time to get to work.

I got downstairs and remembered that my car was still at my -- Brian's house.

"Mattie..." I cooed as I leaned over the back of the couch and wrapped my arms around him.

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and smiled. "Yes?"

"Could it be possible for you... to give me a ride to work?" I asked sweetly.

"Sure thing, I was gonna stop by the studio anyways, so I might as well go now. Do you need me to come get you later, too?" he asked as he stood up from the couch, grabbing his keys off of the coffee table.

"Nah, I'll have Rhiannon drop me off at my -- Brian's house and grab my car," I said as I followed him out to his car.

He dropped me off at the front entrance of the building, coincidentally at the same time Rhiannon was walking toward the door.

"Thanks for the ride Matt, I'll see you later," I said with a smile before getting out of his car and walking toward the door, waiting for Rhiannon.

"Did you just get dropped off?" she questioned as we entered the building and walked into the elevator, going up to our floor.

"Yep."

"... By who?" she asked.

"Matt. I stayed at his place last night, and I'll be staying there for awhile til I can get my own place," I said as I looked at her. I watched as her jaw dropped.

"You finally left Brian? Damn... I didn't think you had it in you," she replied as the elevator came to a stop and we walked out.

"Yes well, he cheated on me and made me look like a complete fool when he didn't show up at the school. And all this time I was staying with Brian, hoping we could work it out for Adelle's sake, when our constant fighting was just making things worse for her. And then there's the fact that you can't fix the problem and work things out if the other person is completely unwilling. So Matt is being the awesome guy that he is, and is letting us crash there for as long as we want. And I really need a vacation or a day off or something," I said all in one breath before slumping down into one of the chairs outside my office.

"I'll say... I could barely make out anything you just said," Rhiannon replied, sitting down at her desk and turning on the computer.

"... She's gonna pick sides," I mumbled, staring straight ahead of me.

"Who, Adelle?"

"Yeah. Now that I'm in one place and Brian's in another, she's going to pick sides..."

"Well, won't she pick you anyways? I mean, you're her mother and you've always there for her and you love her. It's a child's natural instinct to pick the mother at that age..." Rhiannon reasoned.

"Not exactly. She never gets to see Brian, and she'll want to see him as much as she can, and then she'll revolt against me and hate me when she's a teenager, and he's gonna let her run around and get drunk and be a slut like he is," I mumbled.

"Okay. Now you're just overreacting. When she's a teenager, she'll hate you anyways. It's like the law of teenagers. And if she grows up to be anything like you, which I'm sure she will, she won't be a slut, Miss I've-Been-With-the-Same-Guy-Since-Highschool-and-Haven't-Dated-Anyone-Else-Ever," she said, laughing a bit at the end. I couldn't help but laugh with her, because it was true. Brian was the only guy I'd ever been with, as pathetic as that may have been.

"Oh! Look into my schedule and tell me how far ahead I'm booked," I said suddenly as I stood up.

Rhiannon clicked around on her computer, bringing up my schedule. "Um... actually you're booked all this week except for Friday. So just today, tomorrow, and Thursday and that's it." she replied, looking up from her screen.

"Awesome. Block that day, I'm gonna chill out in bed or go do something. Get my mind of shit for once," I sighed.

"Will do," Rhiannon said before I walked into my office, getting ready for the busy day ahead of me.

I locked up my office after my last client, and as I turned around I saw Sammie, the girl I had just been counseling, and her older brother Mick, who she lived with. Mick was my age, and took Sammie in after their mother died because their father walked out when Sammie was young. Mick was probably the only relative of a patient of mine that I interacted a lot with. He always wanted to know how Sammie was doing after her weekly visits when he came to pick her up. He was really concerned about her well-being and I admired that about him. I was an only child, so I didn't ever get sibling-relations when growing up. That and ... he was pretty damn cute, too.

"Hi Mick, how are you?" I asked with a smile. I was alone in the outer room of the reception room because Rhiannon said I was going too slowly and told me she'd wait down in her car for me.

"I'm good, and you?" he replied back, as all three of us got in the elevator together. I pushed the button for the ground floor and the elevator started its descent downward.

"Wish I could say the same for myself," I said sighing, like I had done a lot lately.

"What's eating you?" Mick asked, genuine concern showing in his voice.

"It's a long story, but I suppose I can spare you some details. In short, my husband is a lying, cheating alcoholic, and I moved out with my daughter to go live with a friend who has been nothing short of amazing to me since the whole ordeal started with the drinking and stuff," I said, trying not to string my words together.

"Jeeze... how long's that been going on?" Mick asked as he put his hands in his pockets as we walked toward the cars.

"Couple of months. But I decided enough was enough and moved out yesterday," I said, and we stopped near Mick's car.

"Damn, I'm sorry Vik."

"Don't be. It's not your fault Brian's a dick and my marriage is fucked," I said, trying to force a smile.

He nodded, and then turned toward Sammie, who had already gotten in the car. He looked back at me and took a small step forward. "Okay..." he said, sighing deeply. "I don't want to seem like a major dick since you're going through all this and I'm not doing it because I think you're in a vulnerable state right now because I don't but... Do you think you might wanna... go out sometime?" he asked, and I could see a bit of a blush rising in his cheeks.

I smiled genuinely. I knew he was being sincere about this. "Well, considering the fact that I know you won't try and get in my pants right off the bat cuz I know you're not like that, I'd have to say you weren't being a dick at all," I said and he started to smile. "When do you wanna do something?" I asked, also taking a step closer to Mick.

"Whenever you want," he shrugged.

"How about tomorrow night, cuz I'm not doing anything and I can get Matt to watch Adelle," I offered.

"Alright. Tomorrow night it is. Uh... should I come get you... or..." he wavered off.

"You can come get me. Are you good at remembering directions, or should I write them down? Or just give you the address and let you find it on your own?" I asked.

"I think the address will do just fine," Mick smiled, and I proceeded to tell him Matt's address. "Alright, I'll come get you at... 7?" he asked.

"Sure. See you tomorrow," I smiled and headed over to Rhiannon's Escalade. I got in and buckled up and noticed she was looking at me.

"What?"

"... What was that all about?" she asked smugly.

"Nothing. I just landed myself a date."

I pulled into Matt's driveway with my car after picking it up from Brian's house, and walked inside, setting my keys down and taking off my jacket. I heard music coming from upstairs, so that was the first place I went to. It was coming from a room across from Matt's, and the door was cracked open an inch or two. I pushed it open to see Matt on his back on the bench press, glistening with sweat, and wearing only basketball shorts as he lifted this massive-looking barbell. And suddenly I had feelings that I couldn't explain and I didn't know where they came from or why I had them either. But they were exciting and I hadn't felt those feelings in awhile.

I walked over so I was standing next to Matt's head and watched as he lifted the weight up and down over and over again. I watched the way his muscles moved, and I just wanted to grab his bicep and see if those muscles felt as good as they looked. But I restrained myself.

A couple of sets later, Matt rested the weight up on the bar and sat up, grabbing the towel off the floor next to him and wiping his face. He turned down the volume on the stereo next to him before turning to me.

"Hey," he panted.

"Hi," I smiled. "I didn't know you had a room set aside completely for working out..." I said as I looked around at all the equipment, my eyes landing on the treadmill. "I think I might have to spend some time in here and get in shape."

"Oh shut it, you're fine," Matt said, playfully pushing me a little.

"That's what you think," I giggled. "But you, Mr. Sanders, have not seen me naked and therefore have no idea what you're talking about."

He shrugged. "Think what you want. Where's Adelle? Shouldn't she be home with you?" he asked.

"She's at a friend's house until 7," I said as Matt stood up and faced me. "My God, do you always get this sweaty when you work out?" I asked, swiping my finger across his shoulder.

"Yup. There's only three times I ever get this sweaty: When I'm working out, when I'm on stage, and when I'm having sex," he smirked.

"Well jeeze, I expect sex for you is a workout then?" I chuckled, not feeling the least bit awkward with the current situation.

"Sometimes, yeah. Other times, not so much. Depends on the mood I'm in," Matt said, full on smiling now. I laughed and he joined in. After awhile, the laughter died down and it got quiet, save for the stereo.

"... Aren't you supposed to have a spotter when lifting heavy weights?" I asked skeptically, remembering something Brian had said to me a long time ago.

Matt shrugged. "Yeah but it doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does. What if the weight just becomes too much for you to handle and you drop it on yourself?" I asked, taking a step closer. I really couldn't help it that I was flirting with him. I had just gotten asked on a date, and I was getting an awful lot of male attention. I wanted to revel in it for as long as it lasted.

"You think I wouldn't be able to lift something? With these guns?" he joked, flexing his arms, which were rather impressive.

"Hey, you never know," I smiled, shrugging.

"Eh, I know my limits, but if you really feel that strongly about having a spotter, I'll use you just in case. Now, I'm going to go take a cold shower," he said with a smirk before heading toward the door.

"Hey Matt?" I asked, remembering my conversation with Mick from earlier.

"What?" he asked as he stopped in the doorway.

"Could you possibly watch Adie for me tomorrow night?" I asked, smiling at him.

"Sure. Why, you got a hot date?" he joked.

"Yeah, actually I do," I laughed, and stuck my tongue out at him. He just smiled and shook his head before leaving the room. I just smiled after him.

Suddenly, staying with Matt now seemed like a fabulous idea.