My Best Friend Fell in Love with the Boy at the Rockshow

Tonight is Christmas Eve and I'm back to being depressed. Everyone is concentrating on something or has someone else to talk to...so...I'm alone. Yeah...this is becoming regular. I've been spoiled with all the fun I've been having. I'm concentrating on the music...I'm looking up Christmas songs to sing...well by myself but singing just makes me feel so wonderful, like it's still worth getting up in the morning. Sometimes I wonder...anyway, back on topic...it's Christmas Eve. Turns out Gerard out up his mistletoe...and he and his girlfriend "hang out" over their for a while if you get what I mean. I didn't even KNOW about this girl. And I am not jelous or anything...but I do not trust this girl. I can see right through people, I always have been able to. In fourth grade, my sister had a friend named Tammy and I KNEW she was a backstabber. Turned out, she was just using my sister to get to her other friend, Vanessa. So I absolutely KNOW when someone is trouble...this is one of those times. I have an idea forming...maybe she's just using Gerard for fame. Oh maybe I'm just a grumpy idiot who likes to think she's smart when really all she's good for is being friendly and charming when appropriate. I'm such an idiot. I've been lonely for MONTHS. This is SO not making it better. In my efforts to help me cheer up, I've utterly torn myself down. What was I thinking? Nobody really cares if I'm here or not. Let's face it, life is NOT as easy as some make it seem or say it is. Elliot has Mikey and Michelle has Frank...they'll be fine without me. This is my last night here. By 6:00 A.M tomorrow I'll be gone...to somewhere else...anywhere but here. I wish they would miss me...but I know they won't...they won't come for me. And if they do...they had better be pretty convincing. I am missing something here...I have to go.