Everyone Learns Faster On Fire
Chapter 17
You may think it’s wrong, but to me it feels so right. So what if I have a girlfriend? It’s not like Gerard and I are a proper couple, we’re just…’friends with benefits’ shall we say… for now anyway. Who says I can’t love both?
And Jamia never has to know. When we’re not on tour, I can spend time with Jamia, and work on building our life together. Gerard doesn’t mind me having a girlfriend. But when we’re on the road, the fun begins with Gerard. There’s no harm done if Gerard’s happy with it and Jamia is blissfully unaware of it all.
And sometimes when I doubt, the times when I feel dirty and ashamed of myself, I just remember the pleasure I get out of it all. The feeling of Gerard’s sweaty body entwined with my own, his deep dark eyes staring lustfully into mine, the sweet taste of his mouth, waking up to feel his body curved around mine and keeping me warm…I would not give it up for the world.
I guess you can say I enjoy being a cheat. But I’d say ‘enjoy’ doesn’t cover it. I fucking adore every moment I spend with Gerard Arthur Way.
Everything feels golden. I’ve finally won over the man of my dreams. Frank Anthony Thomas Iero Jr. Those five words are the sweetest I have ever heard.
The onstage hints; the deep kisses in front of thousands of people, the comforting embraces between songs - they all paid off. I feel elated.
But why does Frank have to stay with HER. I mean, I don’t mind him having a girlfriend if he really wants to…hell, when I’m away from Frank, I may want to have a little fun too, but if I’m really ‘The man he wants to spend the rest of his life with’, then why is he still sticking with Jamia?
But if it makes him happy, I’ll let him. As long as my baby is happy, that’s all I need.
And Jamia never has to know. When we’re not on tour, I can spend time with Jamia, and work on building our life together. Gerard doesn’t mind me having a girlfriend. But when we’re on the road, the fun begins with Gerard. There’s no harm done if Gerard’s happy with it and Jamia is blissfully unaware of it all.
And sometimes when I doubt, the times when I feel dirty and ashamed of myself, I just remember the pleasure I get out of it all. The feeling of Gerard’s sweaty body entwined with my own, his deep dark eyes staring lustfully into mine, the sweet taste of his mouth, waking up to feel his body curved around mine and keeping me warm…I would not give it up for the world.
I guess you can say I enjoy being a cheat. But I’d say ‘enjoy’ doesn’t cover it. I fucking adore every moment I spend with Gerard Arthur Way.
Everything feels golden. I’ve finally won over the man of my dreams. Frank Anthony Thomas Iero Jr. Those five words are the sweetest I have ever heard.
The onstage hints; the deep kisses in front of thousands of people, the comforting embraces between songs - they all paid off. I feel elated.
But why does Frank have to stay with HER. I mean, I don’t mind him having a girlfriend if he really wants to…hell, when I’m away from Frank, I may want to have a little fun too, but if I’m really ‘The man he wants to spend the rest of his life with’, then why is he still sticking with Jamia?
But if it makes him happy, I’ll let him. As long as my baby is happy, that’s all I need.
♠ ♠ ♠
Yeah, this is short because it's a bit of a transition chapter.