Those Who Walk Beside Me

I smiled rubbing my swollen stomach as Matt and I walked into the doctors office, his hand in mine grasping it tightly. We were going to find out the gender today, I was more than excited about finding out but Matt didn't really want to know. " I will love it either way." I smiled at him brightly and took a shaky breath.

"You ready baby?" He asked me as he placed a soft kiss to my temple and I smiled.

"Yeah...nervous..." I said to him and he chuckled.

"Kandice Sullivan." A nurse said and I smiled walking over to her, she led us into a room and I sighed sitting on the examination table. I swung my legs nervously as the door opened and in walked my doctor.

"Hello, how are you feeling?" She asked with a bit of a smile.

"Fine a little tired but, fine." I smiled.

"Well let’s get this going yeah?" She said as she turned on the machine. I nodded and laid back on the examination table. I unbuttoned my pants and lifted my shirt over my stomach, she gave me a smile.

"Here comes the cold." She said as he poured the gel onto my round stomach, "Hm, strange." She said furrowing her eyebrows. I held Matt’s hand nervously, my palms beginning to sweat.

"Okay, you see this here, and this here..." She said and I nodded, she faced me with a grin.

"It would seem, that there are two heartbeats meaning..." She trailed off.

"Twins..." I whispered as my eyes began to water up, two babies. This was probably a bigger shock than either of had ever hoped for. Matt just stared at the screen and licked over his lips before kissing me happily his hand cupping my cheek.

"I love you..." He said to me and I smiled.

"I love you too." I whispered.

"Ah and the best part, you want to know the gender right?" She asked us and we both nodded excitedly.

"A boy, he will be first born since he is lined up already and a girl..." She said grinning and I felt tears fall down my face. I couldn't have been happier with how things were turning out. Finally they were going my way and I just couldn't believe that just over a year ago I had found out I had a brother.

"Everything looks perfect, the fluid levels look okay and the babies seem to be content. I'd say you’re perfectly healthy." She said as she printed out a picture of the ultrasound for us.

"Wow...two babies..." I whispered as I looked at the paper she handed to me.

"Two..." Matt whispered looking over my shoulder.

----

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" I screeched as I pushed with each contraction, the pain was going from my lower back all over my stomach and I fell like I was being torn to shreds.

"I'm sorry baby..." Matt said with a sympathetic look.

I felt tears sting my eyes as the head came out, "Almost done Miss, just one more push!" The doctor said to me smiling a little. I gave one final push and she set the baby on my stomach. They began tying off the umbilical cord and Matt cut it. Instantly I began to feel contractions again, they took our son to be cleaned up his screams could be heard probably world wide.

"Definitely a Sanders." I laughed darkly as I pushed.

"She is in the canal now, just a few more good pushes and you will be all done."

"You said that ---last time. " I said as I pushed harder.

"The head it out! Give me one good push!" She urged. I cried out and pushed out our little girl.

"There we go, all done." She said smiling as Matt cut her cord. He placed a kiss on my forehead, "I love you so fucking much." He said as tears brimmed his eyes.

"I love you so fucking much too." I said as I started to cried, he buried his face into my neck and stroked my hair. We were both so happy our kids were finally here, some more than others.

"Are you ready to hold you son, Mrs. Sanders?" She asked me and I smiled nodding.

"Yes." I said and took him into my arms kissing the top of his head.

"Hey there handsome, I’m your mommy." I whispered to the bundle in my arms, the tears were fresh as they fell down my cheeks. "I love you so much." I whispered kissing his rosy cheeks. He had a head full of black hair, his eyes fluttered open they looked at me intently like he was trying to figure out what was going on.

"Happy birthday little one..." I whispered then looked up at Matt to see him holding our little girl both our eyes brimming with tears.

"They are so beautiful." I whispered as I looked down at the bundle in my arms.

"James Owen, " Matt said smiling at me.

"And Jaime Kathlene." I whispered, he kissed me softly this kiss was different than all the rest. This kiss told me it was going to be okay, that we had gotten through the hardest part.

"Hey..." I heard my dad say as he walked in and I grinned.

"Hey grandpa," I whispered, he looked at the baby boy in my arms. "Say hello to James Owen Sanders..." I whispered to him and he smiled kissing my forehead.

The rest of the day was pretty much quiet, everyone got to hold and see the babies. Then they all left and after thirty-seven hours of labor I could finally sleep. I was so tired.

---

I sat there strumming on a guitar and sighed a little as I played singing to the babies as they slept in their bassinets. Their room was painted green and yellow so neither of them could complain when they were older that they had a boy colored room or a girl colored room. There was a deathbat painted in black above their cribs. I thought for sure that they would be scared of it but they weren't. The babies stayed asleep as I finished the song and it came to an end.

"Did you write that baby?" Matt said from the doorway with a small smile, and I smiled pushing my hair out of my face. My eyes were tired, but the life they held in them was fierce.

"Yeah." I said to him and he kissed me softly.

"Its amazing." He said stroking the hair from my face making me smile widely at him and kiss him deeply the neck of the guitar in my hand while is sat on the floor. He cupped my face in his hands and stroked my jaw line as he kissed me passionately.

"God, I love you so much..." He said and I smiled a little as I ran my hand to the back of his neck, playing with the hair.

"I love you more..." I said to him and he gave me a lopsided grin.

Its not how many times you've been knocked down, its how many times you get back up. Courage is when you've lost your way but you find the strength anyway.