Status: Active.

It's Classy, Not Classic.

"Who cares about your ear!? You're not a virgin!"

Doing homework while awaiting the expected call from Frank about going to the movies was not how I intended to waste that time, because apparently homework was in fact a waste of time. Evidently it is, because school shouldn't be forced into our lives outside of the building -- most people would agree, if not all. Homework was always just one of those things that didn't sit well with me, I never actually did my homework unless I had to -- even if I would get in trouble. I usually only did literature and English homework, but those kinds of things are easy, along with Science as well. The others not so much, so I just reduced to not doing them. That may not be as rebellious to the kids in New Jersey as it would be to the kids back in Toronto, although it wasn't really rebellious at all to either to begin with -- so I suppose I need some lessons in this whole teenage rebelling sort of stuff. Good thing I have Frank, then, I suppose.
My cellular phone vibrated from my end table, and I jumped slightly, spooked by the low vibrating noise, my gaze darting at it. I paused for a second, blanking out like a moron, before I leaned over and snatched it, glancing at the screen. It wasn't Frank, but I wasn't disappointed either. I've been so caught up in Frank and New Jersey that I'd slightly forgotten my hometown, and the people in it. This was my connection back to the other world, my phone, and now Lena was calling, and the phone that I held in my hand wouldn't stop vibrating. I had to tell her about Frank, had to tell her about everything, because she has to know, and yet I still hesitated in answering it, my mind debating wether or not to do just that. I broke down soon enough, because the phone wouldn't stop, and I slid it open, putting it to my ear. "Hey, Lenny." I greeted, a weak smile forming on my lips, because even though I knew I had a confession to make, I couldn't help but smile at being in contact with a small piece of my home.
"Hows it goin' in Jersey, girl?" Her voice chirped back at me happily, like she usually was, and a small bit of nastolgia churned in my stomach. Homesickness attacked my stomach ever so slightly. If only I could merge these two worlds into one to have my perfect world, and yet that world still wouldn't be perfect itself. Nothing would ever be perfect without my mother, but I won't go too in depth into that, because I'm not in the mood for depressing you and myself. If only, though, I could be back in Toronto with my father -- and my mother -- and have Frank there at the same time. To combine these two worlds would be a heaven on earth for myself. But, I'll start to make sense now; this is reality, and shit like that doesn't happen.
"Everythings pretty solid, I guess, how's everything going over there?" I inquired in response, stalling because I was still debating mentally wether or not to tell her of my lost virginity. Regardless of the fact I knew she had to know, regardless of the fact that I just wanted to tell someone so badly because it was such an exciting burden to bare and I yearned to share it with someone. I knew, for a fact, that she would go insane when I tell her, but she was my best friend and she deserved to know. Just because there's a distance set between us now doesn't mean I can keep secrets. Along with the fact that the annoying little voice in the back of my head kept going on and on; Tell her, tell her, tell her.
"Good, good. We all still miss you like hell though." She replied, a frown making itself evident on her face even through her tone of voice, I could tell she was frowning even over the phone. I couldn't help but to frown slightly myself from that very fact, and from the fact that even though I had a wonderful distraction still, and that Frank was such an upside to New Jersey, I still wanted to be home where I belonged.
I cleared my throat slightly, wiping the frown from my face and moving on in the conversation, changing the subject to a less serious one, "And how's that bet of yours going?" I questioned, one corner of my mouth curling up into a slight smirk, and from the other side of the phone I could hear her give a small, awkward laugh under her breath that only made me roll my eyes.
"Chase told you -- right." She remembered, giving a small sigh of discomfort, nerves now evident in her voice, "Well, eh. Not so good. I haven't found a dude that I'm interested in yet and I definitely don't want to just go ahead and fuck some guy that I don't know and don't care about, y'know?"
I nodded even though she couldn't see, subconcious and listening halfheartedly because I was still contemplating on when would be the best time to tell her. "I've got to tell you something." I blurted out randomly, biting my lip and chewing on it softly, because I really didn't mean to say that. A small part of me was telling me I may regret this, but either way Lena had to know. I couldn't lie to her, I just couldn't. She makes it to hard for me to lie to her, I'd end up confessing at some point anyway -- better to just get it over with now then later, right?
After a few seconds of silence she encouraged me to go on and tell her, and a small sigh escaped from my lips, an act to try and attempt to calm myself down as much as I could before spilling my guts. "You need to promise not to freak out." I mumbled into the phone to her, wanting her to make an empty promise that she didn't even know would be empty, because there was no doubt in my mind that she would freak out once I was finished with this little secret. She agreed and told me she wouldn't freak out, and my stomach muscles ached, stomach churning, because the time of the confession was just getting closer and closer. Before I could take another deep breath to calm myself out, the words fell from my mouth in a terrible act of word vomit, "I'm not a virgin anymore." Then there was silence -- that is, before a loud scream erupted from the speaker of the phone. My hand instantly yanked the phone from my ear at the highpitched sound, ear stinging, and I groaned at the small sensation of pain, and the ringing that now took its place in my ear. Once the screaming was through with, I put the phone back to my ear and groaned at her, "Lenny, that was my ear!" I whined, and she gave a loud scoff.
"Who cares about your ear!? You're not a virgin!" She exclaimed to me, as if she were pointing out the reality of it to me even though I'd been the one who just told her, "... How! Why!"
"Oh calm the hell down, Lena!" I growled at her desperately, "I'm not the one that made a bet about it, atleast!" I rubbed it in, going to desperate measures to shut her up, and fortunately that did it.
"But... But... Who- Oh my god, you whore!" She yelled at me through the phone again and I groaned loudly, "It was that goth dude, wasn't it? Uh, uh -- Frank! That's the guy! You fucked him!? You whore! You screwed him, you dirty, nasty whore! When I encouraged you to get to know him I didn't mean for you to go ahead and fuck him! I'm going to ome there and kick your ass, you skanky bitch!"
"Lena!" I yelled into the phone at her, "Calm down, please!" I demanded harshly, a slightly whiny and desperate tone taking over my voice, because my face was turning a darker shade of red every second that passed. "It's not like I did it out of nowhere, Lenny!"
"Then how did it happen, huh!?" She challenged me for my excuse, and I gave a sigh, leaning over onto my knee and resting my elbow up on it, rubbing my temple with my index finger to try and calm my nerves.
"... I... I'd talk to him before, y'know? And he decided to take me to a party, and I got drunk, and it just sort of happened."
"You were intoxicated! That sleaze! I'm going to-"
"No! No, Lena! Stop, let me finish!" I interrupted her urgently, "Yes, I had sex with Frank -- but, he's really nice. I hang out with him, and, actually Lenny, he's my boyfriend."
There was a pause of nothing but thick silence, and I bit down on one of my knuckles, nervously awaiting her response, "You're dating a senior!?" She yelped, excitement now lacing her voice, and a small sigh of relief left me, "My god! I'm telling everyone!"
I froze instantly, gulping at the small lump in my throat, "You're telling everyone I'm not a virgin?"
"No! No, no!" She assured me urgently, "... I'll probably only tell Chase that."
"Typical." I sighed and she gave a happy giggle back at me.
"So, what was it like?" She asked me with a rather suggestive voice, and I sighed and giggled quietly under my breath, because that was just so her it worsened my homesickness even more. "What's an orgasm like?" She added after a few seconds, and I couldn't help but just laugh at how utterly serious and curious she sounded with this subject. It was pretty comical, I'm not even going to lie.
"I'm not explaining this to you -- it's just weird." I rejoindered to her and she gave an exaggerated sigh.
"Did it hurt, though?"
"Yes, alot at first, it went away. It gets better each time you do it though-"
"Whoa, sister! How many times have you two done the dirty?" She asked me instantly, completely curious and shocked with me.
"... A few." I muttered, now playing with a loose thread from one of the blankets on my bed absentmindedly.
"... How good is he?" She inquired, and my jaw dropped in complete disbelief that she'd just said that.
"And you're calling me the dirty whore!" I exclaimed to her, outraged, and she just laughed back at me.
"Oh whatever. Oh, and I plan on meeting this Frank boy someday, I hope you realize this."
"Believe me, I've figured that much out by now."
♠ ♠ ♠
Seventy three subscribers!
I know what you're thinking though -- "I thought she was only posting on Mondays! WUT. SHE LIIEEDD."
No, but I doubt you're angry about this.
You've been waiting for another update... right?
Right!?
...
Anyway. I was thinking I'd post Mondays AND a random time during the week.
If I dont post on Monday, though, then I was either busy or I couldn't think of an update to write. Please understand. It's the last three weeks of school.
Usually I'm a few updates ahead, but I'm only about two ahead, and the next one after this is really short -- so I apologize in advance for that.
But, hey! It's a Friday night treat! YAY!

So, if you care at all or want to randomly know a bit of what went on today in my personal life, then I'm going to rant. It really isn't that big, to be honest, but I just feel like I want to vent.
I have this friend Daniel, you see, and today at the lunch recess when we went outside, there was a huge group of my friends and I -- girls and boys, obviously. And everyone was going crazy, and laughing their asses off. There was alot of pervertedness going on too, and two of my friends got hand raped numerous times, haha.
Daniel was sitting beside me, rrreeaaall close, and my friend Maria was infront of me, sitting sideways. We were all talking, and at random times he'd like, scootch closer or rest his head on my shoulder or play with my fingers and my bracelets, put his arms around my shoulders randomly. He let me wear his hat, too.
Now, I personally dont know what I feel for him, since he's a really good friend, but today just mixed me up and confused me. Maria and another friend of mine, Jenessa, both think he likes me, and I'm certain a bunch of other people agree. I talked to this guy that has a crush on me too, and he thinks Daniel likes me as well.
I... I just... I'm sorry about this rant. I just felt like I needed to talk about it, hah.
I'm thinkin' of asking one of my friends, whose also his friend, to ask him if he likes me.
But, heres the thing, Daniel has had a crush on me NUMEROUS times in the past, and just last summer he straigh up told me he had a big thing for me, and we even planned on going on a date to the movies -- that never happened. He went to camp and moved on, got a crush on a girl and I think dated her, then broke up with her because she got clingy. He's kind of a player. In the past two months he's had a crush on Jenessa and another one of my friends, Chloe. But he's had crushes on me multiple times.
I'm just so confused, you guys.
I'm sorry about this long authors note.
If you have any sort of advice or reassuring words to settle my confusion, please tell me.
Do you think he has a thing for me?
Thats probably a stupid question, but... I... I just dont know.
I'm so lost.

I <3 U.

-XOXOkat.