Status: Active.
It's Classy, Not Classic.
Jealousy never was attractive.
All the talk of sex had gotten to me, apparently, and although I have been touched, I hadn't actually had sex in the past couple of weeks, and the longing to feel another human being was kicking in, and the preference for said human being to be a certain little someone was almost too strong, because I was wanting her so much that it was almost an ache. I could only sigh when I received a text informing me that I didn't need to pick Kat up from school today because she was going to hang out with a girl and her friends. And when I was told that this girls name was Rae I immediately knew that this Rae girl was the younger sister of Tyler. She was, anyway, the only girl named Rae that I knew after all. Possibley the only girl named Rae at our school, or even in our neighbourhood. Them being friends, and Tyler being one of my best friends, well, that could call for some awkward encounters, but I'm sure we'd all get over it after a while.
I assumed that Kat was dropped off by someone because she walked in at about seven while I was laying on the couch boredly, stopping my channel surfing to prop myself up on my elbows and look over, watching as she dropped her backpack to the floor near the kitchen counter and shuffle over, her shoes already kicked off. One corner of her mouth curled up into a crooked smile as she shuffled over, crawling on ontop of me and straddling my lap, leaning in and giving me a peck on the lips, only making me smile afterward. "I tried out for choir today after school." She told me, "Rae's in choir. I just thought it'd be a good way to meet people." She said, and I guess she had a point. I was her first friend here, and everything that went on between us left out anytime for her to make other friends. She spent so much of her time on me, and I did the same, that we were so caught up in eachother when other people needed our attention as well. She needed to make more friends at some point.
"Have fun with that, then." I chuckled up at her, getting a small smile from her, and after a moment of thinking she leaned down again and our lips attached once again, longer then before, enveloping softly. Once our lips parted, I decided I should probably bring her attention back to a certain situation that still needed to be dealt with, a situation she'd been running from, "When do you plan on talking to your dad and meeting his new lady friend?" I inquired in a whisper, her face still so close to mine, and she stared at me for a second before groaning and letting her face fall onto my shoulder, making me let out a small laugh. "You can't avoid confronting him forever."
"I can avoid it for a little bit longer, though." She mumbled against my shoulder and I laughed softly. And I decided to drop the subject right there, because I wasn't going to force her into talking about it if she didn't want to, I doubt she'd even pay attention if I continued talking to her about it, and I suppose it's only fair. She didn't force me into talking about our run in with my father, so I shouldn't force her into talking about her little situation with her father. Plus, I was still being bothered by the sexual thoughts floating through my head.
Admitting how nice it felt to just be able to lay there in silence and not feel uncomfortable like I had to say something to break through the silence was all too easy, not to mention nice. Nothing had to be said anyway, there was nothing to say, even with all of the things, good and bad, going on. It was nice to just be able to enjoy someones company. Loneliness was once something I was inevitabley a victim to almost all of the time, especially in a casually romantic way. I was once slowly being engulfed by loneliness, and now, I wasn't so lonely afterall. I'd just wanted someone to love and love me in return this whole time, and I'd finally found it and it was still so surreal. After confessing it to Tyler and Derek, after finally getting them to believe me -- which was easier then I thought -- I just wanted to tell every single person I knew about how in love I was with this girl. Love is always misunderstood, I once misunderstood it myself, but now that I have a taste of what true love really is, it's better then anything in comparison -- better then money and fame. Once you have a taste of love, you never go back. I didn't want to go back either. Kat is the best thing thats ever happened to me. Unfortunately, all of this doesn't seem to cheer me up after the whole Brandon situation -- I'm still angry and hurt. He got to kiss the lips of the girl I love -- her lips are for me to kiss and not him. Of course, I'd never let Kat know that I'm still upset over it. It'd just make her feel bad and guilty and she'd blame herself. I'll get over it sooner or later hopefully.
It's rather upsetting to think, though, that even after numerous days, returning to school and all, I was still allowing myself to be upset about the whole incident with Brandon and Kat, and each hour on the hour the urge to break Brandons jaw increased. As that went on, the only two things that seemed to calm me down were Kat, which I suppose was obvious, and smoking. I can honestly say I didn't know why I was so caught up in this whole incident still, and I can even more honestly say I hadn't a clue why I felt jealous -- angry made sense, but jealous? I'm her boyfriend, I get to kiss her whenever I want, and he forced one kiss from her against her will and I'm still jealous? What is this? What's wrong with me? I'm losing my mind -- and yet maybe the reason I was jealous is because I'm the only one thats allowed to kiss her, being her boyfriend and all, and yet he kissed her anyway. Here comes that violent urge to punch him in the face again.
So as the first Friday since the break rolled around, after successfully urging myself into going to school with Kat for the past few days with help from Kat herself, I spent some time after school hanging around with some of my friends while Kat was off hanging around with Rae and her other friends, which didn't seem to worry me at all. Rae was trustworthy, I know, she wouldn't be mean to Kat -- I suspect they get along perfectly. It was just a few of Rae's friends that were boys that erked me, because even here as I'm leaning against my car in the parking lot after hanging out with my friends, smoking a cigarette, watching as Kat said goodbye to Rae and her friends, I could so easily and clearly spot as two of Rae's guy friends let their eyes wander Kats body freely, curiously. Boys with virgin eyes slay me, to be honest, especially when I have what they want -- mostly because they can only dream about having Kat, when in reality she'd always be mine. That much I was sure of.
Annoyance tugged at my nerves when she gave the two curious boys small hugs goodbye, and lets just say that if their hands went any lower they'd just be asking for me to hurt them entirely too blindedly. How oblivious do these two boys have to be to not see that I'm right fucking here and that I can see their eyes all over my fucking girlfriend -- I am a guy after all, and I know all of their tricks, mostly because I've seen it all and done it all before too. I could spot them checking out Kat from a mile away. It's almost comical, really, but it still makes me sick all the same. I don't even have to take a note to myself to remember to not let them hang around alone with Kat -- because I know it'd just end up like the whole Brandon situation, but they'd be getting more then just a punch in the face because I'm not going to take that shit again.
My thoughts broke away though when Kat waved at them one last time before turning and starting to make her way over to me and the car, smiling at me cutely, true happiness gleaming in her eyes and it kind of made me question some things -- because wether that gleam was from having new friends, talking to those boys or looking at me I really couldn't tell.
My eyebrows furrowed slightly and I took another drag of my cigarette, smiling a little as she approached me closer, noticing Rae and her littles friends still standing there conversing, the two boys watching her -- probably checking her out. As Kat reached me, though, she pushed herself close infront of me as I was leaned back on the side of the hood of the car, her arms wrapping around my neck and not even a second later our lips were pressed hard together, her mouth curved into a big smile against mine, and a small noise of surprise left me, muffled but pleasently surprised, one of my arms wrapping around her waist and the other doing the same, my hand still holding onto my cigarette. I pressed more into the kiss, knowing the two boys were watching, as this would be a subtle signal from me to them to back the fuck off. I was keeping it subtle for Kats sake.
I assumed that Kat was dropped off by someone because she walked in at about seven while I was laying on the couch boredly, stopping my channel surfing to prop myself up on my elbows and look over, watching as she dropped her backpack to the floor near the kitchen counter and shuffle over, her shoes already kicked off. One corner of her mouth curled up into a crooked smile as she shuffled over, crawling on ontop of me and straddling my lap, leaning in and giving me a peck on the lips, only making me smile afterward. "I tried out for choir today after school." She told me, "Rae's in choir. I just thought it'd be a good way to meet people." She said, and I guess she had a point. I was her first friend here, and everything that went on between us left out anytime for her to make other friends. She spent so much of her time on me, and I did the same, that we were so caught up in eachother when other people needed our attention as well. She needed to make more friends at some point.
"Have fun with that, then." I chuckled up at her, getting a small smile from her, and after a moment of thinking she leaned down again and our lips attached once again, longer then before, enveloping softly. Once our lips parted, I decided I should probably bring her attention back to a certain situation that still needed to be dealt with, a situation she'd been running from, "When do you plan on talking to your dad and meeting his new lady friend?" I inquired in a whisper, her face still so close to mine, and she stared at me for a second before groaning and letting her face fall onto my shoulder, making me let out a small laugh. "You can't avoid confronting him forever."
"I can avoid it for a little bit longer, though." She mumbled against my shoulder and I laughed softly. And I decided to drop the subject right there, because I wasn't going to force her into talking about it if she didn't want to, I doubt she'd even pay attention if I continued talking to her about it, and I suppose it's only fair. She didn't force me into talking about our run in with my father, so I shouldn't force her into talking about her little situation with her father. Plus, I was still being bothered by the sexual thoughts floating through my head.
Admitting how nice it felt to just be able to lay there in silence and not feel uncomfortable like I had to say something to break through the silence was all too easy, not to mention nice. Nothing had to be said anyway, there was nothing to say, even with all of the things, good and bad, going on. It was nice to just be able to enjoy someones company. Loneliness was once something I was inevitabley a victim to almost all of the time, especially in a casually romantic way. I was once slowly being engulfed by loneliness, and now, I wasn't so lonely afterall. I'd just wanted someone to love and love me in return this whole time, and I'd finally found it and it was still so surreal. After confessing it to Tyler and Derek, after finally getting them to believe me -- which was easier then I thought -- I just wanted to tell every single person I knew about how in love I was with this girl. Love is always misunderstood, I once misunderstood it myself, but now that I have a taste of what true love really is, it's better then anything in comparison -- better then money and fame. Once you have a taste of love, you never go back. I didn't want to go back either. Kat is the best thing thats ever happened to me. Unfortunately, all of this doesn't seem to cheer me up after the whole Brandon situation -- I'm still angry and hurt. He got to kiss the lips of the girl I love -- her lips are for me to kiss and not him. Of course, I'd never let Kat know that I'm still upset over it. It'd just make her feel bad and guilty and she'd blame herself. I'll get over it sooner or later hopefully.
It's rather upsetting to think, though, that even after numerous days, returning to school and all, I was still allowing myself to be upset about the whole incident with Brandon and Kat, and each hour on the hour the urge to break Brandons jaw increased. As that went on, the only two things that seemed to calm me down were Kat, which I suppose was obvious, and smoking. I can honestly say I didn't know why I was so caught up in this whole incident still, and I can even more honestly say I hadn't a clue why I felt jealous -- angry made sense, but jealous? I'm her boyfriend, I get to kiss her whenever I want, and he forced one kiss from her against her will and I'm still jealous? What is this? What's wrong with me? I'm losing my mind -- and yet maybe the reason I was jealous is because I'm the only one thats allowed to kiss her, being her boyfriend and all, and yet he kissed her anyway. Here comes that violent urge to punch him in the face again.
So as the first Friday since the break rolled around, after successfully urging myself into going to school with Kat for the past few days with help from Kat herself, I spent some time after school hanging around with some of my friends while Kat was off hanging around with Rae and her other friends, which didn't seem to worry me at all. Rae was trustworthy, I know, she wouldn't be mean to Kat -- I suspect they get along perfectly. It was just a few of Rae's friends that were boys that erked me, because even here as I'm leaning against my car in the parking lot after hanging out with my friends, smoking a cigarette, watching as Kat said goodbye to Rae and her friends, I could so easily and clearly spot as two of Rae's guy friends let their eyes wander Kats body freely, curiously. Boys with virgin eyes slay me, to be honest, especially when I have what they want -- mostly because they can only dream about having Kat, when in reality she'd always be mine. That much I was sure of.
Annoyance tugged at my nerves when she gave the two curious boys small hugs goodbye, and lets just say that if their hands went any lower they'd just be asking for me to hurt them entirely too blindedly. How oblivious do these two boys have to be to not see that I'm right fucking here and that I can see their eyes all over my fucking girlfriend -- I am a guy after all, and I know all of their tricks, mostly because I've seen it all and done it all before too. I could spot them checking out Kat from a mile away. It's almost comical, really, but it still makes me sick all the same. I don't even have to take a note to myself to remember to not let them hang around alone with Kat -- because I know it'd just end up like the whole Brandon situation, but they'd be getting more then just a punch in the face because I'm not going to take that shit again.
My thoughts broke away though when Kat waved at them one last time before turning and starting to make her way over to me and the car, smiling at me cutely, true happiness gleaming in her eyes and it kind of made me question some things -- because wether that gleam was from having new friends, talking to those boys or looking at me I really couldn't tell.
My eyebrows furrowed slightly and I took another drag of my cigarette, smiling a little as she approached me closer, noticing Rae and her littles friends still standing there conversing, the two boys watching her -- probably checking her out. As Kat reached me, though, she pushed herself close infront of me as I was leaned back on the side of the hood of the car, her arms wrapping around my neck and not even a second later our lips were pressed hard together, her mouth curved into a big smile against mine, and a small noise of surprise left me, muffled but pleasently surprised, one of my arms wrapping around her waist and the other doing the same, my hand still holding onto my cigarette. I pressed more into the kiss, knowing the two boys were watching, as this would be a subtle signal from me to them to back the fuck off. I was keeping it subtle for Kats sake.
♠ ♠ ♠
I was thinking of maybe making a character page for this story, just so you guys could have an idea of what each character looks like. Would that be a good idea/would you like for me to do that?I really hope you guys liked this chapter. D: [yes, a sad face]
Last update I only got about three comments [and thank you to those people, you know who you are] and considering I used to get quite a few comments each update, I'm feeling pretty shitty about it.
You have to remember that the more comments I get, the faster I update, but if I barely get any comments, I'll update slower.
The story is just about to get good, too. Maybe people are getting sick of my story? That's kind of what it feels like -- I know it's harsh, but thats what it feels like. I know I've slightly prolonged the beginning, since most of the chapters were just Kat and Frank, but the story is just about to get into more character development with other characters. The story really is just about to get better, alot of stuff is going to happen soon, and theres going to be more characters and more detail in each characters relationship with eachother.
So, please comment? It'd make me feel alot less shitty.
You know, I love you guys, and I can't really thank you enough for reading, but I'm at a major lack of feedback, and I need comments! I need to know what you guys think so far, PLEASE!
... And now I sound desperate. D:
-XOXOkat.