Teardrops & Stars

“You’re leaving tomorrow.” Nate said sadly, as he brought me closer to him. A long month has passed since the audition, luckily there were only a few days of school left after it and then it was winter break. We were on my bed. The snow had just started to fall again when we had to go to L.A. I already packed the night before (with him) and now I was free of any responsibility. Alex was out with Katie. We should be too, but I didn’t feel like it right now.
“Yes, I know.” I whispered, trying to choke back tears. He didn’t need to see me like that. Crying. It would upset him. But it was getting harder by the minute.
“What do you want to do today?” He asked, smiling a little bit. He caressed my face with his thumb. “There must be something you want to do.” Nate decided to stay with me the whole day before leaving. It started last night. He would then drive me to the airport tomorrow morning where I’ll meet a few people from our side of the country who got in and go to Hollywood.
“I want to be happy today. I don’t want to mope here with you.” I cracked a wider smile. “Nate, I want to take me anywhere but here.”
“Of course.” He kissed my lips quickly and we hopped out of bed. “First, let’s go grab some lunch at my place.” I’ll miss his cooking. I grabbed his hand and we promptly got out of the apartment (I locked it, of course) and to his car. As he drove to his house, I scooted over as far as the seat allowed me and hugged him. I’ll miss his hugs. This will take a long while before the “I’ll miss his...” list is going to be over.
Nate wrapped a free arm around my shoulders and we drove in silence. When we were about there he asked, “What do you want for lunch?”
“I don’t mind what the main course is, but there better be those mozzarella sticks on my plate.” He chuckled. I’ll miss his laughs.
“I’m thinking steak for lunch, grilled.” He sighed. “Extra pepper?”
“Nothing will ever taste good without extra pepper!” I laughed. My mind began working on what we’ll do afterwards. I’m thinking the mall, but it’s a short distance away, it would be better if we’ll walk. The more time to be with him.
“What are you thinking about?” Nate asked.
“You. And what we’ll do the rest of the day, considering it’s still,” I paused to look at the clock in the car, “eleven o’ clock.”
“So what’ll it be today?” He glanced at me just before he parked.
“The mall.” I answered, getting out of the car. “Only we’ll walk there. I’d like to savor the moments.” We walked into his house, hand in hand, his parents already said their goodbyes, and so did Hannah. Too bad I wouldn’t be able to talk to Avery again this year. He’s fun to be with. I like how he makes my boyfriend blush and uncomfortable. I know it’s mean, but the opportunity to hug him and make him feel better was too good to pass.
I sat down on one of the linoleum counters and watched him cook. He decided to make me some cupcakes too and they’ll bake while we eat the steaks and mozzarella sticks. I helped out with the cupcakes, the instructions were easy enough. All I really had to do was pick out the right measuring cup and the right thing to put in it. As he continued to marinade, tenderize and whatever else the steaks need, I mixed the eggs with the dry ingredients. I tried my best to make the clumps become smooth. Nate watched me in amusement as he cooked. The tasty smell of steak grilling wafted through my nose and made my stomach grumble. He let it set for a while and wiped his hands so he could help me.
“We should’ve cooked together more often.” He sighed crushing Oreos with me and putting it in the batter. “This is really fun.”
“Yeah, too bad though.” I sighed as well. “Hey, are those sticks ready?”
“Let me check.” He threw crumbs into the batter and wiped his hand. “Yup they’re ready, but pretty hot.” He called. “Okay, let me finish up here, and set the table, please.” After a sweet kiss on the cheek he let me go and I got the plates ready on the table. I also put the plates for the steaks and other food right by him, so he won’t have to hassle. “Thanks, Derek.”
“No problem.” I kissed his lips and took a stick from its tray and ate it. “Mmm, these taste great! You get another kiss.”
“Now I really wish we’d cook together before.” He poured the batter into the little holes with those little cupcake paper things. I laughed. But I wish he’d stop saying that though, makes me feel all bad inside. I sat down patiently in the dining room as he took out the steaks and brought them to me along with the sticks.
We ate normally talking out loud. I’ll miss our personal face to face talks.
Lunch was exquisite. It was one of the tastiest lunches I’ve ever had in my life. For dessert we had a couple of cupcakes but we couldn’t finish them all so Nate put them in Tupperware and into a brown bag and handed it to me. All I had to do now was to heat them up. After the dishes were cleaned we walked out into the winter. Snow fell slowly from the sky and he warmed me up by holding me close, very close. I’ll miss his hands.
“Hey Nate, you won’t cheat on me while I’m gone right?” I asked out of the blue. It hasn’t really been a problem with me, I trusted him. But it was just probably the tiny little me inside that doubted.
At least he wasn’t offended, from his chest came a booming laugh. “Why would I do that?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, if I stay long, I’ll be gone long. You’ll get lonely, and... other stuff.” Like being sexually frustrated, I know, I’ve felt that before. But were there anyone willing when that happened? No.
“Oh Derek, my Derek, do you have any idea how much I love you?” He stopped to turn to me and bring me into his lips. It was sweet, as always. My knees buckled under me but I fought to keep them up, the last thing I wanted to do now was lose focus on these things. I sucked in a deep breath when he pulled away. “Never, ever doubt that, please?” His tone struck me hard. I didn’t mean to upset him.
“Sorry, I-I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.” I mumbled and we continued to walk, and he continued to smile.
“Don’t worry about it, Derek. I’d be asking the same thing, since you are going to L.A. where a lot of hot guys are.” He sighed. “You won’t, will you?”
“Of course not!” I gasped at the mere thought of being with anyone other than Nate.
He kissed the top of my head. “That’s my boy.” But hearing him say that made me feel bad in advance, I just know that flirting is going to ensue when I get to Hollywood. I know it’s wrong but my hormones and brain have a funny sense of humor. I’d probably have my friends stop me at all costs even if it will physically hurt me. I really didn’t want to screw things up with Nate.
“If some hot foreign exchange student from France came to school, what would you do if he was making passes at you?” I asked again. He chuckled. This wasn’t a serious subject anymore, I was just having fun.
“I’d look him in the eye and say: Je suis désolé mais j'ai un petit ami que j'aime.” I blushed slightly. He’d say I’m sorry but I have a boyfriend that I love. I mean come on, how can you not blush at that! It’s in freakin’ French! “What about you? What if someone comes up to you and flirts with you?” He chuckled. “And he has these amazing green eyes.”
“I’d avert my eyes and kick him in the crotch.” Okay maybe I won’t.
Nate saw through this and snorted. “Yeah right.”
“Okay fine, I’ll ask Ri or Chace to kick him in the crotch.” I laughed. He smiled and hugged me tighter.
“If I could sing like you, I’d be auditioning too. And when I get in I’ll try my best to stay as long as you in the competition.”
“If I last long.” I muttered. He kissed the top of my head again.
“Don’t think that.” I tilted my head to look at him. “Or it’ll get in the way.” We talked normally and as we arrived at the mall, he pulled away and held my hand tightly. We walked around and sometimes I’d see a shirt I like and he’d try to buy it for me. I’ll make a fuss but we’d laugh and then he’ll buy me the shirt. Then he does it and I buy him the shirt. We were pretty much even when we stopped by Creams and Things for a snack. My work buddy, Claire, took over now. She was 20 years old and was helping her parents pay for college. Curly brown hair that flowed down her shoulders flipped as we approached and she flashed us a smile. “Hey Derek, Nate!”
“Hi, Claire.” I smiled. “How’s everything?”
“Considering the cold winter weather? Good. People here are looking for cold pick me ups. It’s funny to see.” She shrugged. “Can I get you boys anything?”
“Yeah I’ll have a cotton candy.” Nate said.
“And I’ll have a CNC.” If I have to say what flavor that is, I pity you. She smiled and got to work. When we got our ice cream we paid, left a tip and sat down, holding hands.
“Aww, you guys are so cute!” She announced. We averted from anyone’s gaze other than each others and ate in peace.
(****)
We got back to the apartment; we took a cab back to his car in the freezing night and drove back here. Alex still wasn’t home, so I decided to make things comfortable. We weren’t really hungry so I made some hot chocolate (despite Nate’s plea for coffee) with marshmallows and pulled out some PopTarts. We sat down by the window and I watched the snow trickle down. His hand was warm against mine and I took a sip of my chocolate and a bite from my tart. Everything was going my way tonight.
When we were done, I took the cups and saucers to the sink and washed them a little bit. Two arms snaked around my waist and his head rested on my shoulder. “You know what we haven’t done yet?” He whispered.
“What?” I shivered a little bit and put the dishes aside.
“You know what, you are leaving tomorrow.” He blew into my ear and I blushed brightly. We laughed and walked to my room. Slowly and lovingly he placed kisses up and down my neck as we entered. He closed the door and locked it behind him, kissing gently now. My breathing went shallow and I pressed against him. His hands were tight around my waist. Though this was leading to it, I didn’t want it to be rough, not this night. Nate seemed to know that.
He turned me around and kissed my cheek, then my nose, then my lips. Afterwards he took his shirt of and took mine off too. The moon was bright tonight, the clouds moved away for this moment in my life. I could see the outline of Nate, soft but strong, silvery white in the moonlight (wow that rhymed!) I ran my hands up from his waist to his chest and I pressed my lips against his. My cheeks warmed up and my knees buckled again, oh his kisses make me so happy. I’ll miss this. He directed me to the bed and then eased me slowly down on it. With his one hand, he traced down my body and caressed it. And with the other he propped himself up. We moved in sync. I moved up, he followed. I move my head to the right; he does the same with his own right. His mouth moved flawlessly with mine. He pushed his tongue in and I let him in. As soon as our tongues touched a fire started to burn brighter and sweat started to bead on my head.
I followed him higher when he shifted and moved his body up. His hands were around the back of my knees, propping them around his waist. I complied, of course, and wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled away and started kissing my jaw line and my neck. I moaned quietly as he continued to kiss and suck on my neck while caressing my legs.
He went lower down on me. Our bodies were touching now and he unbuttoned his pants and took them off. He kissed lower down and I moaned again, quietly. “I love you, Derek.” He murmured against my skin. “I love you so much.”
“I love you back.” I replied, breathless. With another swift movement he had my jeans unbuttoned, and with another one he had them off. I brought him back to meet my gaze. In the moonlight, he looked absolutely beautiful. His eyes were more that gorgeous now. “I love you back.” I repeated and then kissed him passionately. His braces pressed against a part of my lips and he noticed that since he became really careful now. I didn’t really mind though.
Then he grinded on me, the feeling of that made me want him more. Oh he knew that very well. My hands moved down from his hair and down to his underwear. I pulled them down and he held my hand. I groaned against his lips and he smirked. He left a trail of kisses down my body and he pulled my underwear off. With a couple of good pumps he started sucking my dick and my head lolled back into my pillows. “N-Nate.” I moaned. His hand replaced his mouth for the time he started licking my ass. My breathing got lower and I felt a little high. Then he started sucking my dick when one of his fingers slipped in my asshole and I grabbed one of the bars of my bed. “Oh, Nate.” He sucked slowly and I was so pleasured by all of this.
Another slipped in and I moaned loudly. I was warm, a whole lotta warm and he was still sucking me slowly. My heart beat was getting faster and faster by the minute. The suspense was mildly killing me. Then and third finger came in and there was another moan to accompany it. He was gentle, of course, he knew what I wanted, he always did. Then he stopped and slowly pulled them out. There was a slight sigh from me but then I gasped when he pushed his slab into me. Still gentle and slow he held my hand. “Derek, I love so you much.” He said again as he pushed into me. He leaned forward as he did and I felt my ass just filling up with him. He kissed my cheek and started pumping into me. “Oh Derek, my Derek.” He whispered into my ear and kissed it. All I could do was hold on tight to him as he pushed into me. I moaned in pleasure and he kissed me again and again.
“Faster. N-Nate, please.” I whispered back and he chuckled, he complied though. His thrusts were faster now. And I barely have enough state of mind to focus on breathing. My sweat started to fall down my face. He kissed me neck and stayed there for a while. Then he wrapped his hands around my waist and lifted me up along him and got me to a sitting position. He kissed my collarbone and was still pumping into me. I grabbed the railings on my bed to steady myself on him and it felt amazing. His hands squeezed by ass and I kissed him. “Deeper.” He complied but I wasn’t satisfied yet. “Deeper.” I said again and he pushed into me with all his might and he moaned louder than I did. Maybe because I lost my breath when he did. He pulled himself out and turned me around. Again he pushed himself in me and I moaned once more. He held my hips and thrusted again into me. I held the railings of my bed and lolled my head down. “Oh yes.” He leaned over and I turned my head to kiss him. His tongue rolled into my mouth and he moaned with me. His hand started to pump my dick, meeting his thrusts.
“Fuck yeah Derek.” He moaned as he pulled away from my kiss. His thrusts were sloppier now, but deeper and faster. He was going to come. “Oh, oh, fuck yeah.” I moaned loudly as I came too. I felt his warmth in me now and I moaned one final moan before slipping down to a sleepy position. He pulled out of me and put a blanket around us. I wrapped my hands blindly around his torso and buried my head into the crook of his neck, breathing loudly. “I’m going to miss you so much.” I didn’t notice that I already started crying. “I love you, Nate. I love you, I love you, I love you. I wish you could come with me, I wish you could. Stupid L.A., stupid distance. I’ll miss your voice, your cooking, your kisses, your hugs, your being.” Oh crap, stop sobbing too much! He cradled me in his arms and kissed the top of my head.
“I love you too, Derek. I’ll miss you too. Remember that I am yours and yours alone. And you are mine. I will love you always.” Another kiss was placed on my head and he said. “Stop crying, we’ll be back together soon enough.”
“I love you Nate.” After that I fell asleep.