Warped Fusion

What the hell is going on?

I can’t find anyone. Not even Zack. I don’t know what to do.

I sat down where I was and put my face in my hands in order to calm myself down. I sat like that for half an hour. Then I realized how much of a retard I am.

I think I love Alex, and I let him run right away from me. I needed to go find him. I shot up and started jogging down the path I last saw Alex run. It was just a rough direction. I didn’t actually have any idea where I was going. After about 10 minutes I had no idea why I was still running. No one was in site, let alone Alex. I slowed down and I could feel my whole body moving slower as my heart beat calmed down. Then Jack came out of no where. I swished around, because he came from my side. We hugged, and his expression showed concern as he pulled away. Maybe a bit of panic too.

“Where’s Alex” I shot at him.

“I lost him. I’m sorry Kaya. I ran as fast as my legs would take me. He literally just disappeared. I have been looking for him for the past 45 minutes. I don’t know if he is hiding or he just ran too far to hear me yelling.” Jack said, sadly and hurriedly.

“You wanna tell me what the hell that fight was about??”

“You heard it? Look Kaya, I don’t really think it’s my place”

You’re gonna have to tell me at some point Jack, but for now, lets go get everyone… search party? Or something?”

“Yep. Come on.”

And with that, we ran back, pretty fast to the where everyone had miraculously shown up. After we had informed everyone around the area what was happening, it became one hell of a search party. Looks like I’m not the only one who loves Alex. His three best friends and I were leading. Groups of people everywhere. People finding random strangers and getting them to help. It was sure an operation. We started looking at about 2pm. It was now 5:48pm and it was already dark. I was freaking out by now. I had run out of places to look, so now I was double checking. It was hopeless. At about 6pm everyone had gathered next to our bus, and the guys waited for me to say the search party was finished. I stood up on the stairs of the bus to face everyone.

“Guys I-“ I couldn’t finish.

The tears started flowing uncontrollably. My legs turned to mush. The rest of my body turned to stone. I started collapsing, but of course I had a lot of support next to me. Zack gently scooped my up, and took me into the bus. I heard Rian tell everyone thank you and too go home or back to their buses; what I had tried to say before. Soon enough I was on the couch. 4 very miserable people now filled our bus. Zack was cradling me, telling me it would be ok, that we would find him. Rian made us all hot chocolate. Jack kissed my head, and then went to his bunk to worry, not too sleep. After I had finished my hot chocolate, I was very sleepy. Crying really drains the energy from you. I suppose that was a good thing. I gave Zack and Rian big hugs before going to my bunk. I grabbed my phone, and then crawled up the ladder into Alex’s bunk. One of his hoodies lay there all scrunched up. It smelt like him. I put it on and lay, wrapped up in thoughts.

I thought about texting Cassie. But I hadn’t talked to her in so long. It would mean explaining how I felt about Alex. That was too hard. Mum would just freak out if I called her when I was so worried. So I just tried to get comfortable for somewhat of a rest.

When I rolled over I put my hands under my pillow. They rediscovered something familiar. A little silver and black book. The one that Alex had tried to hide when he showed me the other song book. Using my phone as a light I looked at the book hesitantly. Oh what the hell. I’ll read a bit.

But, to my surprise I opened the first page and it was blank. The next page too. Hmmm. I flicked through and soon enough I came to a page with something on it. I struggled to see even my own name written on the page. Wait, what? My name? It was just a blank page, but in the middle it said;

Kaya – I love you. Always will.

Another tear crept from my eye. But I smiled. The next bunch of pages were blank. Then right in the middle two pages of the book was more writing.

Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye.
It could be for the last time and it’s not right.
Don’t let yourself get in over your head,
He said.
Alone and far from home I’ll find you.

Dead. Like a candle you burned out.
Spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.
Scream. To be heard.
Like you needed anymore attention,
Throw the bottle break the door and disappear.

Sing me to sleep.
I’ll see you in my dreams.
Waiting to say,
I miss you
I’m so sorry.

Forever’s never seemed so long
And when you’re not around
It’s like a piece of me is missing.

I could have,
Learned so much from you
But what’s left now?

Don’t you realize you shot this family a world of pain?
Can’t you see this could have been a happy ending we let go?

Sing me to sleep
You’ve taken so much with you.
I’ll see you in my dreams
But left the worst with me.
Waiting to say,
I miss you
I’m so sorry.
I’m sorry.

The tear stains on the pages were not mine.