Lies and Broken Smiles
09
I weigh myself when I return home 96 pounds of pure fat.
Even though I feel fat I know that the doctors won't accept that and then to top everything off, mother is throwing a party, father has returned and of course we need to celebrate.
I stand in front of my full length mirror the sight of my body is disgusting.
"Wow you look amazing!" Jess says entering my room.
"No I don't!" I say trying to fix my hair, it's no use.
"Oh come on Cali you are!"
I turn to my sister she is the amazing one.
Her light brown hair hung past her shoulders to the middle of her back and her bright blue eyes only add to her beauty, she wore a small blue dress that fell off the shoulders.
I then studied my reflection my short blonde hair didn't even reach my shoulders, my light green eyes didn't add beauty to me in fact they were empty which made them look terrible. I had on a short hot pink dress, all I wanted to do was dress up in a hoddie and jeans and lay down, anything but to go down there where people would see me, where there would be food.
"Dad should be here soon." Jessica smiles
I sigh, I really don't want to be here.
"Come on." She says gently grabbing hold of my arm and walking with me down stairs, the way she grabs my arm it feels like she might not want to see father either.
When we reach the bottom of the stairs people turn and smile.
"Finally!" Mother says "Your father should be home any minute now."
"You look beautiful." One lady says to Jess before turning to me and giving the same compliment, I smile and say thank you, though my mind tells me she's lying, people are liars.
A few minutes in and my father enters the house.
"Wow." He says as mother rushes to greet him.
"How was your trip sweetie?" Mother grabs on to him like she needs him, like it's hard to be away from him, like if she lets go he might disappear.
Jess and I walk up to him and greet him, my smile and happiness is forced so is Jessica's, I never noticed this about her. I never noticed how she felt about him.
Father goes about the room talking to everyone, as they all smile asking him how his been.
Suddenly an urge over takes me and I start to stuff my face with food, I try to stop but I feel like I can't control it this time I want it all.
I grab a slice of cake, and then fruits and chips anything I can find. I finally feel so stuffed as I start to panic, I run up to my room giving excuses of needing the restroom.
I turn to my mirror suddenly I'm fifty times bigger then I used to be, I can't believe this!
I go to the toilets and stick my fingers down my throat after twenty minutes Jessica comes to check in on me knocking on the door of the bathroom.
"Cali are you okay?"
Fuck did she hear me?
"I'm fine, I say trying my best to keep my voice clear."
"Are you sure you've been up here a long time."
"I'll be back out in a minute." I listen for Jessica's foot steps as I hear her exit my room.
I sit up and lean against the wall take in a few deep breathes and stand up slowly as the room sways, I flush the toilet and wash my face and hands and mouth, before looking up at myself. Still fat.
I walk down the stairs and greet everybody and apologize for being away so long.
My mother pulls me aside from the party into her room.
"I made an appointment with your Doctor you'll be seeing her tomorrow." She says
"Mother I don't need to se-"
She cuts me off "I don't want to here you complain you're seeing her."
I sigh and fight tears I have a feeling it won't go well.
Even though I feel fat I know that the doctors won't accept that and then to top everything off, mother is throwing a party, father has returned and of course we need to celebrate.
I stand in front of my full length mirror the sight of my body is disgusting.
"Wow you look amazing!" Jess says entering my room.
"No I don't!" I say trying to fix my hair, it's no use.
"Oh come on Cali you are!"
I turn to my sister she is the amazing one.
Her light brown hair hung past her shoulders to the middle of her back and her bright blue eyes only add to her beauty, she wore a small blue dress that fell off the shoulders.
I then studied my reflection my short blonde hair didn't even reach my shoulders, my light green eyes didn't add beauty to me in fact they were empty which made them look terrible. I had on a short hot pink dress, all I wanted to do was dress up in a hoddie and jeans and lay down, anything but to go down there where people would see me, where there would be food.
"Dad should be here soon." Jessica smiles
I sigh, I really don't want to be here.
"Come on." She says gently grabbing hold of my arm and walking with me down stairs, the way she grabs my arm it feels like she might not want to see father either.
When we reach the bottom of the stairs people turn and smile.
"Finally!" Mother says "Your father should be home any minute now."
"You look beautiful." One lady says to Jess before turning to me and giving the same compliment, I smile and say thank you, though my mind tells me she's lying, people are liars.
A few minutes in and my father enters the house.
"Wow." He says as mother rushes to greet him.
"How was your trip sweetie?" Mother grabs on to him like she needs him, like it's hard to be away from him, like if she lets go he might disappear.
Jess and I walk up to him and greet him, my smile and happiness is forced so is Jessica's, I never noticed this about her. I never noticed how she felt about him.
Father goes about the room talking to everyone, as they all smile asking him how his been.
Suddenly an urge over takes me and I start to stuff my face with food, I try to stop but I feel like I can't control it this time I want it all.
I grab a slice of cake, and then fruits and chips anything I can find. I finally feel so stuffed as I start to panic, I run up to my room giving excuses of needing the restroom.
I turn to my mirror suddenly I'm fifty times bigger then I used to be, I can't believe this!
I go to the toilets and stick my fingers down my throat after twenty minutes Jessica comes to check in on me knocking on the door of the bathroom.
"Cali are you okay?"
Fuck did she hear me?
"I'm fine, I say trying my best to keep my voice clear."
"Are you sure you've been up here a long time."
"I'll be back out in a minute." I listen for Jessica's foot steps as I hear her exit my room.
I sit up and lean against the wall take in a few deep breathes and stand up slowly as the room sways, I flush the toilet and wash my face and hands and mouth, before looking up at myself. Still fat.
I walk down the stairs and greet everybody and apologize for being away so long.
My mother pulls me aside from the party into her room.
"I made an appointment with your Doctor you'll be seeing her tomorrow." She says
"Mother I don't need to se-"
She cuts me off "I don't want to here you complain you're seeing her."
I sigh and fight tears I have a feeling it won't go well.
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