He'll Never Know

I was bringing in boxes to my grandmothers house. A lot of my mothers possessions put into storage for me for when Im older. I brought only the things in my room with me. I would have my aunts old room. It would be weird to sleep in my moms childhood room.

I walked into the house, my grandpa taking my box and setting it down. He embraced me in a hug.

"Jub jub, everythings going to be ok, you still have us."

I sniffled, not realizing there were tears rolling down my cheeks. I embraced my grandpa back, burying my head into his shirt. The smell of peppermint and laundry detergent filled my nose, the familiar smell that I cherished. His wrinkled hands wiped the tears from my face.

"How bout we stop all this moving and go get some ice cream, we can tell your grandmother were at the hardware store."

I laughed as my grandpa winked at me. He picked up his keys and left a scribbled note for my grandmother. We headed for my grandpas 1969 Ford truck. How this car was still moving surprised me.

"Grandpa, shouldnt this car be in car heaven by now?"I laughed joking with my grandpa.
He gave me a kind smile.

"Not if you know how to pray to the car gods." He smiled.

"Oh like in The Fast and the Furious?" I asked.

"Exactly."

Later that Night

As my grandpa pulled up to the house an unfamiliar face stood by the door. I pondered who this person could be but thought nothing of it, just happy to be back at my grandparents.

As we loomed closer to the house I noticed it was a woman holding a fairly large bowl. My grandpa grinned.

"Why! Mrs.Wentz what are you doing standing out here?" My grandfather boomed in a cheery voice.

"Well I was bringing Margarets bowl back " She said with a smile.

My face dropped, this woman was supposed to be my other grandmother, but I shrugged off the thoughts.

My grandpa took the bowl from her hands.

"Well come on in, the least I can do is give you a cup of coffee, with your boys Im surprised this came back one piece." He laughed at his own comment, Mrs.Wentz joining in.

"No no Charles, it was a close call, Pete decided to make pancakes with that bowl and Andy happened to be there and well the rest explains itself doesnt it?" She pointed out cheerily.

"Yes it does, Margaret will be thankful, she uses this bowel to make her muffins-"
My grandfather looked at me a sudden realization coming to his eyes - "Oh! Me and my poor manners, this here is my granddaughter Delilah! " My grandfather smiled at Mrs.Wentz..

"Abby had a child! Well wow-- "
My grandfather cut her off. I assumed shed think of my aunt first, shes been married since she was 18.

"No, no, this here is Cecile's girl, shes um, well- " he looked into my eyes. He could see the small pool of tears that were ready to fall, but I held them in.

"Shes living with us, I guess in the confusion Margaret didnt tell you, but, but"

Tears slipped down my grandfathers eyes, I knew It hurt to lose his oldest daughter, as I heard my grandma whisper to my grandpa at the funeral, parents shouldnt outlive their children.

"Cecile passed last week"
The shock and horror written across Mrs.Wentz face made me go over the top with anger. I stomped up to my room and slammed the door.

I was unsure of what brought on this anger. But if I could guess it would be the grief and guilt. Knowing that the last words I told my mother were I hate you. The stupidity of my words would bare a hole on my soul for the rest of my life

I punched my wall in angst, leaving a hole in the wall. I looked down at my bloody knuckles. I just growled at the blood. I sat on my bed. Just letting the pain ebb its way up threw my hand and fingers. I fell asleep only minutes later. Waiting for the nightmares that haunt me to come into my head.