I'm Frightened That I Won't Be Strong

Within moments, Nick and I were back in the position we had been in yesterday. But this time, I saw no hesitation in Nick's gaze. He wanted this just as much as I did. All I really wanted to do was ravish his gorgeous body, but I held back, knowing that this was his first time. And I wanted this to be special. "You're shaking," Nick whispered, placing his hand on my trembling shoulder. I just smiled and kissed him again. I was shaking because of the amount of control it took to keep myself from going too quickly. I wanted to take this slowly, I wanted this to be perfect.

I blushed slightly as I reached over and pulled out lube and a condom from the top drawer on the bedside table. Nick just grinned at me. "So sue me, I'm prepared," I whispered. Nick laughed softly and reached down for the condom. But then he put it back in the drawer and closed it again. I frowned and looked at him but he shook his head.
"I want to feel you," he whispered, making my heart skip a beat. I nodded and kissed him softly as I gently eased his legs apart. He happily spread his legs and hooked his feet at my knees. I pulled back and looked down at him and smiled. There were no words that could adequately cover what I felt for this boy. Calling him beautiful didn't do him justice. I just gazed into his eyes, hoping I was conveying everything I felt, as I squirted some lube onto my fingers. I then gently penetrated his tight entrance. He gasped slightly in shock, but didn't break our gaze. I went as slow as I could, gently stretching and preparing him. I knew this would hurt him and the thought killed me. But I also knew that after the pain, it would get better. And I wanted to give him that pleasure.

After several long minutes of stretching him, he reached down and pulled my hand away. "Please, Jesse," he whispered. "I'm ready." I smiled and then got some more lube and applied it to my hard cock. I then moved to hover over Nick, who was trembling slightly.
"Who's shaking now?" I whispered, gently placing butterfly kisses all over his skin.
"I'm okay," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around my neck. "I want this, I want you." I smiled and nodded and slowly edged forward until I was partly inside him. I froze instantly when Nick's pain gasp hit my ears. I waited in silence for him to tell me he was alright. It seemed hours before Nick untensed around me and then nodded. "Keep going," he whispered and I slowly pushed forward into him. Nick was breathing heavily – panting – and I was trying my hardest not to go too quickly. I leant my forehead in the crook between his shoulder and neck and his hand came up and cupped the back of my head tenderly. Eventually I was fully inside of him and I took a deep breath, trying not to get too carried away too quickly. I wanted this to last.
"Are you okay?" I whispered as I pulled back and looked down at him. He nodded, a small smile on his lips and I felt my heart swell with love for this boy beneath me. I then pulled back slowly and thrust back in. Nick was gasping and moaning beneath me, but I knew that it was no longer from pain but from pleasure. I slowly increased my rhythm, building up to a fast pace. Nick's legs locked around my waist as I rocked into him and suddenly he cried out and arched his back. I smiled, knowing I had found his spot and I aimed for that every thrust.
"Oh, God, Jesse," he moaned and I then found out that there is nothing better than hearing Nick Jonas moan my name as he writhed beneath me in pleasure. "T-Touch me," he begged and I did as he asked. I took his length in my hand and pumped him in time with my thrusts. Despite me wanting this to go slowly and perfectly, my thrusts soon turned jerky and I knew I wouldn’t last much longer. But I knew that Nick wouldn’t either, as his moans were quickly increasing in volume. "Jesse!" Nick cried and then he came in my hand. It only took another single thrust before I came inside him. I rode out my orgasm as I continued to stroke Nick so his could continue for as long as possible.

Finally, I collapsed on top of him, my head coming to rest on his chest. I went to roll off him, but Nick wrapped his arms around me, holding me on top of him. And I didn't complain; just lay trying to catch my breath. After a while I raised my head and looked into Nick's satisfied eyes. "I'm sorry," I whispered despite the happiness I could see in his gaze. He frowned, clearly confused.
"What?" He asked and I could see he was slightly hurt. "Why?" I quickly cupped his cheeks to reassure him that I hadn’t meant anything bad.
"I wanted it to last longer," I whispered. "I wanted it to be perfect for you, but I couldn't hold back any longer." Nick's eyes instantly cleared and he smiled at me.
"Jesse, it was perfect," he whispered. "It was so perfect. And I wouldn’t have been able to handle any longer." He grinned at me and I smiled and kissed his lips passionately.
"I love you," I whispered. "You're the most incredible, beautiful person I have ever met."
"I love you, too," he whispered. "And I can't wait to start our life together." I smiled and nodded. I couldn't wait either. I brought him closer against me and he curled into my side. "That was a good way to break in our new bed," he whispered and I laughed but nodded as well.
"Definitely," I grinned.

We were silent for a while and then I turned to Nick again. "What do you think your parents will say?" I asked and I watched as his face paled slightly.
"Are you...do you want to tell them about this?" he asked and I frowned.
"You don’t?" I asked, confused slightly.
"Well, I don’t think they'll approve. I mean, Kevin took his vow so seriously and they might be disappointed that I didn't," he said. I paused for a second before grinning.
"I didn't mean about this," I said, a wide smile on my face. "Of course we don’t have to tell them about this. I meant about this," I said as I picked up his hand, showing him the ring on his finger.
"Oh," he said, blushing slightly. "Well, they'll be happy, of course. And relieved, probably."
"Relieved?" I asked, frowning slightly.
"Well, my mum didn't really like us living together when we weren’t married," Nick said, still trying to fight his blush. "But now she won't have any complaints." I smiled and nodded, pulling him against me again. "Can I ask you something," he said after a minute and I could tell instantly from his tone that this was a serious question.
"sure," I nodded, waiting.
"Do you...um...I mean, we could..." Nick stammered but couldn't seem to get out what he wanted to say.
"What, Nick?" I asked softly.
"Do you want children?" he asked and my eyes instantly widened. As Nick saw this, I watched as he blushed again deeply and looked away. "I mean, we could adopt...or something...if you want to."
"Nick," I interrupted him softly. "I'd love to have children. At some point. I think we should wait a couple years first. I mean, you're only 17. Plus, you've got your career now and I don’t want you sacrificing anything for me." Nick smiled and nodded.
"But we will adopt? In the future?" he asked and I grinned.
"Definitely." Nick leaned down and kissed me passionately and I knew that I'd made him happy. And that's all I wanted.