All I Can Do

Jonathan shifted awkwardly, still frozen in the doorway. Her dark blue eyes were locked on him, her face full of colour, and her cheeks pink- opposite of how he last saw her. He noticed that she had done her hair, and makeup, probably bored of sitting in bed all day. You couldn’t see the cuts and bruises anymore

He cleared his throat and got the courage to walk into the room and stand in front of her bed. Her eyes didn’t leave his, they were cold, angry, her eyebrows arched downward. Boy, she was even angrier than last time.

“Hi,” he whispered, giving her a polite nod.

She scoffed, “You didn’t answer my question.”

He sighed, trying his best not to just turn and leave, and simply hand the envelope to Derek on his way out, “I thought your parents were in here, I swear.”

She raised an eyebrow and crossed her bruised arms across her chest, “What do my parents have to do with this?”

Jonathan lifted the envelope and he watched her eyes flicker to it. Her mouth opened, as if she was going to say something, but she closed it again. He waved it gently and nodded, confirming her thoughts.

“It’s the money for the bills,” he told her, watching her eyes soften, “My phone number is in there too, in case anything else comes up.”

She blinked, than glanced up at him. For a second, he thought she was going to cry, but then she raised her hand, palm facing up. He took a few steps closer to her and placed the envelope in her hand. She looked away to open it and view the contents. She looked shocked.

He started explaining himself, “There’s a bit more, you know... in case I missed something, or you need something.”

She shut it abruptly and looked down, as if she couldn’t meet his eyes again. Then, after a few seconds of silence, she raised the envelope up and handed it back.

He frowned, “I don’t want it.”

She shook her head, eyes still on her legs, “No, Take it. I can’t ask you to do that.”

He pushed it back, crossing his own arms, “I got you into this mess, take the money, it’s the least I could do.”

Her head snapped up to look at him and he saw tears filling those dark blue eyes and he froze, not knowing what to do... or even say. She shook her head, trying to force the tears back down.

“ you didn’t do this. I did! I turned left on a red light, It’s my fault that I’m here, It’s my fault that I can’t walk, It’s my fault you and your friend were hurt and it’s my fault that you’re g-giving me this!”

She shook the folder lightly and sniffled, wiping her eyes. Jonathan wanted to just walk over to her and scoop her up into his arms, fix that hurt she had inside. He would rather deal with angry Farren that sad Farren. Here she was, doing the same this he’s been doing all along, blaming herself.

He walked towards her slowly, just in case she didn’t want him near and sat down. She looked away, almost ashamed of her tears. He reached for her hand and was honestly startled when she didn’t snap it back.

“It’s not your fault,” he told her sternly, feeling her shake, “I’m giving you that money because I can, and because I want to. You don’t need to feel guilty, and Patrick’s going to be okay.”

Farren sniffled again, using her other hand to wipe her face.

“Hey,” he whispered, when she didn’t respond he continued, “Hey, look, I’ll leave it here okay?”

He placed the folder lightly next to her and brushed his thumb across her hand. He knew she wanted to be alone, he could sense that he was only making it worse.

“I’ll come back tomorrow to see how you’re doing,” he paused, waiting for her to snap, but she didn’t, “Feel better.”

He stood and dropped her hand, pushing the chair back. He gave one last look at the back of her blonde hair, and her bruised body and headed for the door. He felt awful that she couldn’t even look at him.

He was just about out the door when he heard a small, quiet voice.

“Hey, Jon?”

He turned around and looked at her, stomach flipping at her red face and puffy eyes, “Yea?”

She smiled softy, “Thank you.”

He nodded, returning the smile before leaving the hospital room.