You're So Pretty On the Outside

A nurse only stopped us once and the second she saw our expressions she knew exactly what we were up to. She frowned and told us to wait a minute, going off to God knows where. We were tempted to keep going but we resisted. The last thing we wanted was to end up getting in shit if there was a shot we’d receive permission.

A few minutes later she showed up and motioned for us to follow her. She asked the room we were seeking and I answered, allowing her to lead us to it. She opened the door and allowed us in, following after us as we entered. I closed my eyes, bile rising as I realized my best friend's current state.

She was hooked up to several machines along with an oxygen mask over her mouth. She was out cold. The only thing letting us know she was alive was the heart monitor by her bed. Her chest barely moved with every breath she took.

Mathieu and I walked to her bed side. He was crying uncontrollably. It was the first time I’d ever seen him cry. He usually hid his tears around other people, hating when people saw his vulnerable side. I wrapped my arms around him tightly as I looked down at my best friend, him returning the favour.

The nurse was standing behind us still, watching sadly. She was young. A few years older than Oli, I’d say. Maybe 25 or 26. She walked forward and rested a hand on my shoulder. I looked at her.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured. I stared at her, looking away as I wiped at my tear stained cheeks.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

She let us stay a little bit longer but after ten minutes she spoke up and told us we had to go again. The doctors had to work on her again. Mathieu was reluctant to leave. He finally gave in, leaning down and kissing her forehead softly.

“Je t’aime, mon amour,” he murmured to her, brushing her hair back.

I did the same. “I love you, Venita,” I whispered, praying she knew we were telling her this.

We followed the nurse out of the room and back to the waiting room. I got there hoping to find Angel so I could thank her again. I received the exact opposite. I found Lee, Kean, Nicholls and Curtis all trying to console Oli while Sarah shook her head in frustration. Danny, Sam, Benoit and Simon were off to the side, watching the group sadly. Angel was nowhere to be seen.

I frowned and wiped at my cheeks, searching the room and faces. I walked over to Sarah.

“Where’s Angel?” I frowned. She sighed.

“She left,” she replied.

“Why?” I asked. She motioned to Oli.

“Apparently they were together or something,” she replied. “She cheated on him, got herself pregnant with the guy’s kid, broke it off with Oli and told him she’s been cheating since the show in Wales.”

I gasped. “What?!”

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “I can’t get a hold of her. She’s driving home and won’t pick up.”

“She cheated on Oli?” I repeated, lowering my voice. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Sarah sighed. “I wish I was.”

“She’s fucking ridiculous!” I growled. “When is she getting home?”

“Two hours from now,” she replied. I growled.

“She’s getting it,” I hissed. Sarah nodded.

“Definitely,” she replied, glancing at Oli sadly. “I can’t believe she didn’t tell us...”

“About cheating?” I asked. She shook her head.

“No, that she was with him,” she replied.

I looked back at Oli. He was really down. I’d never seen him cry before but this was insane. He could barely get a word out. All he could do was cry. I sighed and walked over to the group. He looked up at me with pained eyes. I leaned down and hugged him tightly. He returned the gesture and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured to him.

He shook his head and buried his face in my stomach. I brushed my fingers through his hair and looked up at Lee. He was staring at his singer with a completely pained expression. He glanced back at me and I looked back down at Oli then at everyone else in his band. They all shared similar expressions to Lee’s.

I glanced at Sarah and gave her a firm look. She returned it with a similar expression and nodded. Angel wouldn’t hear the end of it.

We heard someone clear their throat and glanced up at the doorway to the patient rooms. I felt my heart drop when I saw the doctor standing there with a grim expression. Oli pulled away from me, standing up slowly. Whether he noticed or not, his arm was still around my waist. The doctor looked at everyone in the room.

“Venita Morrison?” he offered. We all nodded. He closed his eyes tightly.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

My knees weakened as I stared at him, terror taking over me. This isn’t happening.

“She’s passed on,” he continued sadly.

My knees gave out. I would’ve fallen to my knees if Oli hadn’t been holding onto me. Mathieu stumbled back, tears pouring down his cheeks as he stared at the doctor, shaking his head desperately.

“No,” he gasped. “God, no! C’est une blague! S’il vous plait, dites-moi que c’est une blague!”

The doctor looked at him sadly. “Je suis désolé.”

Mathieu’s band mates surrounded him, hugging him in turn. They were all crying. Everyone in the room was.

Lee stepped up to me and pulled me into his arms, hugging me to his chest tightly. Oli had dropped into his seat, staring at the doctor. Mattie and Bear were staring in shock as the information sunk in. Their mouths were set in tight lines, tears pooling in their eyes. Curtis was back at Sarah’s side, hugging her.

“This can’t be happening,” Oli breathed. “What the hell did we fucking do to deserve this bullshit?!”

The doctor flinched. “I’m sorry.”

“Can I see her?” Mathieu asked in a barely audible voice. The doctor nodded.

“Come,” he motioned. “A few people at a time.”

The members of Beheading of a King and I followed the doctor. He led us back to her room. I stared at the heart monitor, praying that it would miraculously start to beep again. I still needed her. I’d been friends with her for the past ten years. I needed her in my life.

Mathieu dropped down to his knees by her bedside, staring at the lifeless body on the bed. She had been disconnected from the machines, the oxygen mask removed. Her eyes were shut, she looked peaceful. She seemed to be sleeping. The only thing that gave away the fact that she was gone was the fact that her chest wasn’t moving.

I took her hand and squeezed it tightly, shaking my head. I stared at her, my tears pouring down my cheeks as I begged for a miracle. I needed her to come back. I couldn’t have lost her already. She was too young to leave us. Sobs broke passed my lips. I didn’t even bother hiding them.

After a bit the doctor told us we had to go. I followed him, Mathieu being dragged out by Benoit and Simon. We returned to the waiting room and the rest of the people on the tour took turns to go see her, all crying once they returned. I stayed in Lee’s arms once he came back with his band, staring at my feet blankly.

“Hey,” he whispered after a while. I made a sound of acknowledgement. “We’re... we’re going.”

I closed my eyes and nodded. I let him pull me out of the hospital and we headed back to the venue. We got on the bus, having decided to stay at a hotel for the night. We got a room and I immediately fell to the bed, crying uncontrollably. Lee joined me, kissing me softly and hugging me tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured, kissing any area of my face he could reach.

“She was so fucking young,” I cried. He kissed me.

“I know,” he whispered. “I know.”