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You're So Pretty On the Outside
In My Bed
When I woke up in the morning I whined in irritation at the weight across my stomach. As much as I tried to shove it off, the heavy object would not move itself. Fed up with my failure, I opened my eyes. They widened considerably when I realized that the weight was actually an arm. I shrieked slightly and threw it off of me as I jumped out of the bed.
I growled and stomped my foot when I saw a sleeping Oli in my bed. I picked up an empty hanger from the floor and began poking him repeatedly until he started muttering a string of curses.
“Wake the fuck up,” I growled.
He peeked up at me from behind his arm in fear. My arms were crossed and I tapped my foot as I looked at him.
“Care to explain why you are in my bed?”
“I don’t know. I were drunk.”
“Was.”
“What?”
“You said ‘I were drunk.’ It’s ‘I was drunk.’ Or at least here in America. I don’t know about Britain.”
“I don’t give a fuck,” he muttered as he flipped over onto my pillows.
“You know when I yell at you for being in my bed that doesn’t mean turn around and molest my pillows. Get the hell out of my room.”
“But it’s comfy here.”
I flung my hands in the air in frustration and stormed out of my own room.
“Glad to see you’re up by yourself for a change,” Sarah commented.
I snorted. “Yeah, but it’s only because I woke up with a moron in my bed.”
“Is that where Oli disappeared to last night?” Bear asked as he stifled a laugh.
“Yes,” I grumbled.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for work right now?” Sarah asked.
“It’s not like it fucking matters anyway. They’re firing me in two weeks.”
She nearly spit out the orange juice that she was drinking.
“Fired?”
“Yeah. They’re laying people off because of budget cuts and apparently I was high on the list since I’ve been taking off a lot lately.”
“Well that sucks.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m just going to finish up my latest project and then just go and not do anything. That way I still get my paycheck but I don’t actually have to do anything.”
“What are you going to do about money then?”
“I’m not exactly sure. They gave me enough time to start looking for jobs so I guess I’ll look for one this weekend. I want to work at Starbucks if I can. Free stuff. Yum.”
“So you don’t want to be a journalist anymore?”
“I didn’t say that, but I don’t think that I would be able to find a good journalism job with the economy so I’m just going to stick with smaller things. I mean, the house is paid off so all we have are utilities. They don’t cost all that much and I actually have a lot of money saved. Most of my paycheck went towards the bars that we go to so if I just buy my own stuff and drink at home then I can save a lot of money.”
“Or you could just quit drinking period,” she said pointedly.
“Eh yeah I guess. I don’t feel like it.”
I just waved her off and walked over to the refrigerator. I glanced at the clock over the stove.
“What the hell? It’s only 8. I don’t have to leave for another 4 hours. Screw this. I’m going back to bed.”
--------
After sleeping for another 3 and a half hours, I got ready for work. I emerged from my room 15 minutes later and sat around for the remaining time.
I glared at Oli as I walked out of the house and he just laughed.
“Sorry,” he called after me.
“Whatever.”
I drove to work sullenly, going through the day as best as a person could when they knew they were soon going to be handed their final paycheck.
I growled and stomped my foot when I saw a sleeping Oli in my bed. I picked up an empty hanger from the floor and began poking him repeatedly until he started muttering a string of curses.
“Wake the fuck up,” I growled.
He peeked up at me from behind his arm in fear. My arms were crossed and I tapped my foot as I looked at him.
“Care to explain why you are in my bed?”
“I don’t know. I were drunk.”
“Was.”
“What?”
“You said ‘I were drunk.’ It’s ‘I was drunk.’ Or at least here in America. I don’t know about Britain.”
“I don’t give a fuck,” he muttered as he flipped over onto my pillows.
“You know when I yell at you for being in my bed that doesn’t mean turn around and molest my pillows. Get the hell out of my room.”
“But it’s comfy here.”
I flung my hands in the air in frustration and stormed out of my own room.
“Glad to see you’re up by yourself for a change,” Sarah commented.
I snorted. “Yeah, but it’s only because I woke up with a moron in my bed.”
“Is that where Oli disappeared to last night?” Bear asked as he stifled a laugh.
“Yes,” I grumbled.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for work right now?” Sarah asked.
“It’s not like it fucking matters anyway. They’re firing me in two weeks.”
She nearly spit out the orange juice that she was drinking.
“Fired?”
“Yeah. They’re laying people off because of budget cuts and apparently I was high on the list since I’ve been taking off a lot lately.”
“Well that sucks.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m just going to finish up my latest project and then just go and not do anything. That way I still get my paycheck but I don’t actually have to do anything.”
“What are you going to do about money then?”
“I’m not exactly sure. They gave me enough time to start looking for jobs so I guess I’ll look for one this weekend. I want to work at Starbucks if I can. Free stuff. Yum.”
“So you don’t want to be a journalist anymore?”
“I didn’t say that, but I don’t think that I would be able to find a good journalism job with the economy so I’m just going to stick with smaller things. I mean, the house is paid off so all we have are utilities. They don’t cost all that much and I actually have a lot of money saved. Most of my paycheck went towards the bars that we go to so if I just buy my own stuff and drink at home then I can save a lot of money.”
“Or you could just quit drinking period,” she said pointedly.
“Eh yeah I guess. I don’t feel like it.”
I just waved her off and walked over to the refrigerator. I glanced at the clock over the stove.
“What the hell? It’s only 8. I don’t have to leave for another 4 hours. Screw this. I’m going back to bed.”
--------
After sleeping for another 3 and a half hours, I got ready for work. I emerged from my room 15 minutes later and sat around for the remaining time.
I glared at Oli as I walked out of the house and he just laughed.
“Sorry,” he called after me.
“Whatever.”
I drove to work sullenly, going through the day as best as a person could when they knew they were soon going to be handed their final paycheck.
♠ ♠ ♠
fallingheartsI thought about having her throw a rock at Oli, but I figured I would save his face from destruction because that's just a tiny bit too much of an overreaction x]
It's 666 words because I thought it was funny. The next chapter will be longer though, I promise :)