A Loaded God Complex

I fidgeted with my tie and again felt stupid. It liked the outfit, Raya helped me pick it out, but I'd never gone to a dance before… for a reason. I surely didn't want to get picked on again and I didn't want to have to dress up to get picked on. Stepping away from the mirror, I paced around my room once and came back to the spot in front of the mirror where I was previously standing. I had forgotten to check my hair. Ok, it wasn't too bad, but it wasn't great, it was never great. It was always a challenge with horns sticking out of it.

"Mason!" Kaylee called from the living room.

"What?" I shouted back a slight frustration ringing in my voice. A thick exhale following it.

"Raya's here!"

"Ok!" I tried to respond smoothly, but really I couldn't hold the new butterflies in. I brushed a hand over my bangs and cleared my throat upon hearing her footsteps near.

"Hey, Mas." Raya stood directly in front of me and was inches from my face.

"You look nice." Smiling, I observed her appearance, an uncomplicated, but not plain yellow dress. Even if she picked out my outfit I still was outdone by her.

"You do too." She glanced at the door and then tapped it almost fully shut with her foot.

She slowly inched towards my face. Everything was moving too slowly, but I waited until she kissed me. This time it was different it almost turned into ones you see in movies. My body felt like it was going to explode as she opened her mouth.

"Wha- what?" I gasped and pushed up my glasses. What I was really wondering was: how did I get a girl like Raya?

"Nothing." Raya mimicked me from earlier that day. She me comforted with a smirk and then led me back to the bed.

I was frozen and my pants were incredibly tight. I was a little embarrassed of it as Raya climbed on top of me. A strand of hair fell in her face and I brushed it out of the way. She kissed my cheek delicately and I eased back. She let kisses wander my neck. I shut my eyes and let everything go white as Raya kept going.

"Shhh," She giggled as she pulled her hand out of my trousers.

I loosened the hold I had on her waist and let them fall to my sides. Raya got off and rested her chin on my chest, her eyes shyly watching me with the same curiosity they had the first day I met her. There was moment when I thought I didn't have limbs, but soon enough they came back to me. I rubbed her lower back and sighed.

"Kids," My dad called from the end of the hallway, "It is getting late." His feet swished on the carpet as went back to the kitchen.

"We should go meet Nicole." Raya suggested and I nodded wordlessly. Quietly she chatted, "I got one of my old friends Travis to come down and DJ for us." I nodded.

We rolled ourselves off my bed, leaving a matted part of the covers in the middle. Raya smiled and tugged at my jacket to straighten it out. She fixed the wrinkles out of her dress and ran a comb of fingers through her pony tail. Somehow I managed to gather my composure, before we made it into the kitchen where my parents were sitting. My father set down his news paper and my mother turned from cutting vegetables.

"Mason come 'ere." My dad pushed himself up with the help of his knees and a grunt, "You look more and more like a man everyday."

"Thanks." I said shyly as my mother rinsed her hands and then smothered my face in kisses. They definitely didn't hold the same flutters the ones previously received.

"Jessica doesn't know what she's missing!" My shoulders dropped and out of the corner of my eye I saw Raya stop nibbling on the carrot she had snatched.

"Dear…" My father warned, my mom shrugged and threw her hands up.

"Now I want some pictures." She covered her weariness and clapped her hands together. A stark white tan line was on her ring finger. I knew she was still mad, very mad, and I didn't want to spend anymore time with her.

Raya raised an eyebrow as I turned to her. We went outside to the setting sun. We stood side by side next to the front porch while my mother took pictures with her Polaroid camera. We made our way to the school, where Nicole was standing out front waiting. Raya held a hand on my ribs and I halted wondering why I stopped. I understood as a boy came up to her. Glancing over at Raya she had a familiar coy grin on her face. Pete was bashfully standing in front of Raya staring at his feet. It was the happiest I'd ever seen him, even despite is drably colored and awkward fitting suit. And this was the most nervous I'd ever seen Nicole, her peach dress shimmered as she shifted her weight one each foot.

We were both too far away to hear what they were saying, but the motions made it pretty clear. Removing his hands from behind his back he revealed a corsage. Another moment passed before he figured out what to do with the plastic box still in his hands. When he did try to slip it gracefully onto Nicole's wrist she ended up flinching away. This seemed to phase him for a second and his mouth ticked a bit. Nicole simply shrugged it off and placed the thick frames in Pete's front jacket pocket. He gulped and glanced up. A few words were exchanged and then they entered the dance, arms locked. Raya and I looked at each other, then went inside too.

Immediately, I felt chaotic and the notion that it wasn't a good idea was coming back to me. The wooden floors vibrated from the music, the flaking white-painted ceiling was covered with red streamers, balloons littered the floor, and kids filled the entire room. Colored lights lifted as the DJ broadcasted the upcoming events for the evening. At 9:30 the king and queen were going to be announced.

"Hey, I'm going to get some punch." Raya leaned close to my ear, I nodded silently.

"Mason!" A bouncing and giggling Nicole shouted, "I can't believe it! We're all here!"

"I know." I flashed a small smile and observed the room.

"Where's Raya?"

Finishing my look over of the gym I saw her and Pete by the punch bowl. My insides shook a little, I had no clue if Pete was actually going to lay off of Raya acting as if nothing happened the other day in her room and like he wasn't here with Nicole, ignore her or try to thank her again. I didn't know, at that moment I just knew I was grateful for him last night. Raya didn't deserve anything, but thanks either. I pointed to the area, both of them noticed. I waved stupidly and Nicole reddened as Pete held up a cup.

"So where's your date?" She teased, I then suddenly felt utterly and distinctly out of place.

"Come on…" I said with a cracking and shaking voice, "You know she's popular."

She nodded and chuckled with her arms crossed over her chest. Pete started making his way over through the crowd. Needless to say at least one drink ended up spilling, and it landed all over his pants. The ruby red of the punch stuck out greatly on his light grey trousers. A line of curses escaped his mouth as he tried brushing it off.

"Here, I really didn't want a cup anyways." He offered it to Nicole, who took it graciously, but never actually drank from it, "I don't think Raya will be coming over anytime soon." Pete turned to me, "Good pick Kirche. Where is she?" Yet another time I felt out of place… I mean I didn't expect her to cling to my side the whole night, but since we left my house I felt like I hadn't seen her since.

"Yeah, um, she has lots of friends." I pushed on with the other route of the conversation. I felt my collar tighten, pulling at it I started walking forward, "I think the locker rooms are open. I still have a pair of pants here, if- if you want them."

"Alright, cool. Be back!" Pete walked backwards and waved to Nicole before out of sight.

I was right, the locker rooms where open since they were the only easily accessible bathrooms near the gym. The music was still very audible through the thick oak door of the locker room, yet it felt a little less crazy. When we entered we saw a large group of guys checking themselves out in the mirror. Ignoring them, and trying to be incognito I went straight to my locker in the dim corner. He settled on the red skinny jeans and also decided to borrow the black t-shirt I had. Again, I felt outdone. Pete could pull off the look: a grey jacket, a white vest, black t-shirt, red pants and saddle shoes.

Before exiting he stopped in the area of the locker room with the large group of boys by the mirrors and stalls. Whipping out a comb from his jacket pocket, he began to spike up bits of his gelled down hair. A few other boys managed to squirm up front to see themselves in the florescent lights, while I sat quietly aside.

"So, I guess this is what it's like for guys like us." A voice mumbled in the back of the crowd, however it caught Pete's attention.

"Nah, man. One night could change it all." Pete responded smugly as our Sex Ed. teacher, Mr. Hoppus, walked in, little did he know that I had already changed it.

"Break it up! You too Kirche!" He blew a high pitched whistle and watched as all of the boys file out.

"Hey, Mason," The biggest prankster of the school caught me as I was walking back.

"Frank?" I was startled and began nonchalantly scanning the room for danger.

"Sorry about last night."

"Oh…thanks."

"Yeah and about 3rd grade when I put glue and cottage cheese into your gym shoes….and last year when I did it again."

"Uh-huh," I was pissed, but I couldn't punch him or anything. Those shoes had been new last year too, "Don't do it this year."

He agreed and awkwardly patted my back. I picked up my pace just in case I had anymore weird encounters. Pete and I were the last to leave, and apparently I was the first to make it to Nicole.

"Where's Pete?"

Shrugging we both laid eyes on the scene before us: him crowd surfing. He was gently set down once a gap came, and immediately Nicole jumped on him in a hug, laughing. Standing there, alone- awkwardly, a few times I somehow had made it to the center of the circle. Luckily, I weaseled my way out of it; there was no way I was getting in the middle of a circle again for a while.

"There you are!" Raya came over with the promised punch, "Don't worry, I got it right before the football team spiked it." I couldn't help but laugh as I took from her hand. "Is everything ok Mason?"

"Yeah, fine." I gave a weak smile, that went undetectable under the dark lights.

"Ok. I think we should find Nicole and Pete again…" Feeling a little separated and left out I nodded solemnly, "It is only for if we get split up again. Unless, you want to be like that freshie." She said through the side of her mouth. I let a loud chortle escape as I watched the flailing mess.

We searched through the bunches of people, and landed near the center of the gym. Someone bumped into Raya and turned to see who it was. Her face was distorted, but when the girl realized who it was happiness came back to it.

"Raya!" Hayley's red hair was still electric under the dark lighting, "And…Mason…"

"Yeah." Raya held my hand.

"You both look very nice tonight." Hayley scanned both of us over.

"Thanks," Raya spotted Pete first, on center court and excused us from the conversation.

The mass of teenagers were cheering his name and clapping, the energy was more positive during this chant. Nicole came up and excitedly hit our shoulders, squealing. Slowly the volume of the music died down and the clapping became faster into an applaud.

"Ok! Ok!" The DJ's voice boomed, "Thank you for that killer lead off!" One more applaud was given for Pete, "And now, it's DJ McCoy sayin' we gotta pick our king and queen."

Raya avoided the stage and all throughout Pete and Nicole embraced in a intense kiss, I think that means they have officially become a teenage couple…either way I tired to block out the sound and visual of them. Guy's names were being called up first. The last boy to be called was named king. The burly football player, Mason Musso, climbed on stage where a big blue fuzzy crown awaited him. Next where the girls. Raya's name was last and she got up on stage gracefully taking the tiara. Before the slow dance came on a thunderous round of applause was given.

Then Raya and the king stepped down from the small stage set up, she took his hand and he placed a hand on her lower back. A loneliness filled me, and I knew it didn't mean anything. Yet, as I stared at her, I could only wish she could be with me. Raya had spun around and she was now no longer facing me, deciding I needed to move I went to head to the back of the gym.

"You're good in biology, aren't you?"

I glanced over to see a boy sitting on the wall. I shrugged. I had made it to the honors list with 110% in that class, but I still could have gotten a 112%. So, I didn't fancy myself too good at it.

He stood up and came closer and I noticed it was Alex Gaskarth, "Could you tutor me, dude?"

"Sure?"

It was strange how nice everybody was being to me. Maybe Raya was right, maybe all it too was a finger to pointed on themselves. When I turned back around I saw Raya blankly staring at Mason. He was speaking, but she wasn't listening. I put my hands in my pockets and waited for the song to be over. The end of the song came and Raya had plucked the small jeweled crown from her head. She was subtle about it, people only noticed when Raya set the crown on the stage and found me in the corner. For the rest of the night we stayed together and I actually had a lot of fun. There weren't any games of telephone going on about me or snickers about us. It was refreshing.