Take My ***ing Hand

“Hey Ry. Where were you last night? I tried to call you but you didn’t answer.” Spencer asked the next Monday at school, right before first period.

“Uh, I was out. Sorry about that.” I said.

“Since when do you have a social life that doesn’t involve us?” Vicky asked. “Where did you go?”

“Forget it. Its not important.” I mumbled pulling out my notebook.

“The fuck its not. Spill Ross.” Spencer said somewhat agressivley.

I sighed. “I went on a date.” I mumbled.

“Oh my fucking god. With who?!” Vicky exclaimed. I shushed her.

“It’s not important.” I said. Her eyes widened.

“Oh. My. God. You went on a date with Urie didn’t you?!” She exclaimed a little too loudly. 

I shushed her again. "It's not important." I mumbled. 

"Oh my God." she said. "Oh my God." suddenly a huge grin appeared on her face. "You went on a date with Urie!" she exclaimed in a hushed tone. 

I sighed. "It wasn't like that…" I started. They both stared at me, waiting for an explanation. "Well it kind of was… I don't know. He forced me too." I explained. 

"He forced you?" Spencer questioned. 

"He came to my house and refused to leave unless I agreed to go on a date with him." I future explained, muttering at the unpleasant memory. 

Spencer blinked then burst into laughter. 

"Oh my God." he breathed. "You weren't kidding. That's hilarious. How was it?" 

I sighed. 

I wondered if I should tell them the truth, or lie and say it was miserable, because honestly, it wasn't that bad. He put on a good act. But if I tell them it was somewhat not totally miserable, then I would never hear the end of it. 

"It was miserable. He's a douche." I said, hoping to leave it at that. 

"Oh come on. You have to give us more then that." Vicky said. 

"I-" I was cut of by the bell. It really couldn't have come at a better time. I breathed a sigh of relief and darted to class. 

The one class I had with Brendon, but not Vicky or Spencer. 

Fuck my life. 

~*~

I walked into class and Brendon gave me a small wave and smile, which I ignored, then took a seat as far away from him as possible. 

~*~

By the time lunch rolled around, I was almost certain that he had kept his promise to to leave me alone, considering he hasn't even made an effort to try and talk to me. 

That is of course until, while I was eating lunch with my friends, that someone took a seat next to me. I didn't even have to turn my head to see who it was. 

I grimaced. 

"What are you doing here?" I grumbled. 

It was freshman year all over again. 

"Just thought I'd join you guys. My friends are being stupid." he explained. 

I looked over just in time to see a guy chuck a spoonful of mashed potatoes across the table. It hit the guy with glasses, who abruptly started cussing out the ones who were in hysterical laughter. 

I rolled my eyes. 

"Fine." I said. 

He smiled and dug into his food, not saying another word. 

Spencer and Vicky gave each other weird looks while I kept my gaze on my plate. 

It was a very, very, very awkward silence. 

"So." Brendon started. "I had a really awesome time on Friday." he said looking at me. 

I sighed. "I thought you promised you would leave me alone if I went on a date with you." I mumbled. 

"I did? Huh. I don't remember that." he said. 

"Well you did." I said, not looking at him. 

There was a pause. 

"Sorry, I don't think I can do that." he said. 

"Why not?" I asked. 

"I think you know why." he said with a smirk. 

"Because you like annoying the hell out of me too much?" I said in a smart-alecky tone. 

"No." he said. "Quite the opposite actually." he said. "I-"

"Don't say it." I cut him off. 

"I like you Ryan. I really like you." 

"No!" I exclaimed, slamming my fist on the table. It was loud enough to turn a couple heads, but not obnoxious enough to attract too much attention. "Brendon. You Don't like me. I know you don't. And I don't like you. As a matter of fact, I kind of hate you. So why can't you just leave me alone?" I exclaimed in the same somewhat loud, stern voice. 

His smile vanished and he looked down at his plate, quiet. 

"I'm sorry." he mumbled, before getting up, leaving his stuff behind, and hurrying out of the cafeteria. 

I turned to Vicky and Spencer.

They were staring at me wide eyed. 

"What?" I asked defensively. 

"What's the matter with you?!" Vicky exclaimed, reaching across the table to hit my shoulder. 

"What?" I asked again defensively. "I didn't-"

"He didn't do anything that kid didn't deserve." Spencer cut me off. "Maybe now he'll leave us alone." Spencer said. 

Vicky rolled her eyes. "What was he doing wrong exactly? He was being sweet." 

"No. He wasn't." I growled. "It's all an act. He wants something, and he'll do whatever it takes to get it-"

"You really think he's doing all this just to get in you pants? Jesus fucking Christ. You both are idiots." She said before picking her plate up off the table and leaving. 

~*~

Brendon's POV

I stood by my locker, pretending to look for something, just to make time pass before my next class, and so people don't think I'm sulking over what happened in the cafeteria. 

I don't care. He's always been a dick to me. Why should this effect me?

Because it was the first time he actually said the words "I hate you" 

I might as well give up now. I'll never have a chance. 

"Hey Brendon?" a female voice said from behind me. 

I turned around, and one of Ryan's friends was standing behind me. The girl one. 

"Hi." I mumbled. "Whats up?" 

"Are you okay?" she asked. 

"I'm fine." the fact that my voice broke contradicted my statement. I mentally cursed myself. 

She didn't look convinced. "I'm really sorry about Ryan." she said. "He didn't really mean what he said." 

"It's okay. I deserved it." I said looking down. 

She sighed. "No. You didn't. Ryan was jus being a dick. Look, I know Ryan, the reason he's being like this is because he's scared. He doesn't really hate you, in fact he really likes you. And he's just afraid he's going to get hurt. You just have to prove to him you won't or really don't want to hurt him."  She finished. 

What she was saying made sense, because then I remembered what he told me that time after I saved him:

"I don't want to get hurt. And sometimes, when you act all sweet, or nice or whatever, I start to feel… I don't know. But I know it's not good. So I push away. But you just wouldn't quit, and you kept coming back stronger. I know you won't change, and since what seems to catch me each time isn't really you, it's really frustrating."

Duh, that's why I started this whole thing in the first place. He really does like me. 

I smiled a little bit. "Thank you, um..."

"Vicky." she finished. 

I nodded. 

"Thank you Vicky. Really."

"No problem." just then the bell rang, Looks like I'm going to have to do this later.