Warm Whispers

It was a Saturday night and I was left here alone with Tommy while Jack was out of town performing with Hey Monday at a couple of shows. Alex is still upstairs, chained up to my bed. It's been a week since he came out of hiding.

I rolled my eyes and watched Tommy on the floor, falling asleep to Jack's box set of Tom and Jerry. I flipped through my Vogue Magazine and then I heard some kind of weird noise coming from upstairs and then it stopped...

"Oh Mae! Oh yes, Mae! Right there!" I heard Alex moan loudly as my jaw dropped clear to the floor.

I dropped my magazine and jogged up the stairs and to my room to see Alex with a dirty little smirk on his stupid face. I rolled my eyes and leaned in the doorway as I shook my head at him.

"Oh Mae! Ah! Your so fucking sexy, Mae!" He moaned and bit his lip as he wiggled his thick eyebrows at me.

"You are nothing but a pig." I whispered.
"What's that, Mae? Harder? If you say so." He winked as I rolled my eyes again.

"Look, all because Jack's out of town-." Alex cut me off.
"Means that you can actually fuck me without getting in trouble?" He smirked.

My mouth parted slightly as he continued to smirk. I couldn't believe him! He still acts like he is eighteen or something. Like he was when I used to...share a room with him in my house. If I could only go back in time and change all of this...I would. Maybe.

"Ya know, Alex....I really do..." I paused as he arched one eyebrow towards me. I sighed and walked into my room as I sat down on the edge of my bed by him.

"Love me?" He smiled his crooked smile that I always have missed.
"I was going to say...despise you." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Mae, what the hell. I realized that what I did was wrong. I would do anything to go back and change what I did, but I'm a criminal. I never planned for this to happen. I wish I could've been here to hold Tommy as a baby...I regret everything I did. I'm sorry. Okay? Can you just...." He paused and closed his dark brown eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Can you just...forgive me?" He whispered.

"Why should I?" I said bitterly.
"Because you love me." He whispered, with a smile starting to form on his tired looking face.

He did look stressed and tired of everything. He needed somebody...He wanted me, but he hurt me and how can I forgive him? It's not that easy. It's never that easy to forgive someone. Someone...who wasn't even here for the birth of your baby. Someone who lied and was here in Baltimore...hiding away with his best friend and manager Matt...Does he really deserve forgiveness?

"Alex, I just don't see how I can possibly forgive you. You looked like a mess. And I just feel as if...I mean you caused me this much pain and tears and I feel like I should tell on you and you can get a taste of your own medicine." I spoke softly.

"Mae, why would you do that? After everything we have been through together? My mom would be so pissed." He said as I shook my head and looked down at my ripped skinny jeans.

"She's pissed at you anyway, Alex." I mumbled.
"Not me. I meant you." He said, making eye contact as I gave him a confused look.

"Why me? I'm not the one who killed somebody, Alex. I'm not the one who was hiding here in Baltimore this whole time and never contacted anyone. Do you realize what you put me through? That night that you left me in the hotel....I was took down to a fucking police station. I was asked so many damn questions. I was almost put in jail! Because I had something to do with running away with you! And you just left me there! Like you always fucking do!" My voice started to crack and tears streamed down my cheeks as he gave me a look of sympathy. He looked up at the handcuffs around his wrists and sighed heavily.

"Please let me out of here so I can hug you..." He said in a soft voice.
"Never." I said through clenched teeth as I sniffed and dried my tears away.
"Mae, come on..." He whispered.

"No! Fuck you! You deserve this! You deserve everything you get from here on out! I hope some cop or someone does find you and puts your ass in the slammer!" I shouted.

"Mae, why the fuck would you say something like that? That's fucked up." He shook his head at me as I shrugged.

"Mae, I fucking love you! Now get me out of these!" He nearly screamed, making his face red and his eyes bulge out.

"No! You belong in those damn it!" I exclaimed as I heard a voice...so soft and so sweet...so innocent, coming from the doorway.

"Mommy?"

I turned around fast to see Tommy rubbing his brown eyes and yawning. I swallowed hard and looked at Alex as he started to calm down. Tommy came in my room and stretched his tiny arms out to me as I picked him up and set him down on the bed beside me and Alex.

"Daddy?" Tommy said softly as Alex looked over at him. Alex had a shocked look on his face...He didn't know what to say. Alex has never really been called Daddy before...

"Yeah?" Alex whispered.

"Why are you in da cop thingies?" Tommy asked, pointing up to the handcuffs as Alex laughed slightly and I half smiled.

"Because...I've been a bad boy." Alex spoke softly and stared at me with his chocolate brown eyes.

"Why?" Tommy asked as I rolled my eyes and Alex smiled up at me as I forced a smile back.

"Because..." Alex paused as I cut in.

"Because it's time for bed!" I exclaimed and grabbed Tommy by his waist as he kicked his little legs, but I made him hang onto my hip.

"Hey! He didn't answer da question!" Tommy shouted as I laughed and shrugged.

"I guess it will just be a secret then." I smiled as Alex looked up at Tommy and winked at him as Tommy sighed.

"Night, daddy! I wove you!" Tommy shouted as I walked out of my room and looked back to see Alex wiggling his fingers at Tommy as Tommy waved back.

I went to Tommy's bedroom and tucked him in as he stared up at me with Alex's brown eyes. I didn't know what to tell Tommy. 'Sorry daddy was gone for so long, but he's back now! Let's throw a party and act like everything is great!' I rolled my eyes and sat down on the edge of Tommy's small bed.

"Mommy, what is da secret about daddy?" He asked me in a baby voice.
"Um...what secret?" I chuckled. There is plenty of them...

For instance...Alex and I are sort of related and...Alex killed my ex-boyfriend...And...Alex is still running from the cops...

"Why he's tied up!" Tommy exclaimed.

"It's just a little game we used to play...And still do. You don't need to worry about it. Just get some sleep. Alright? Goodnight, Tommy." I half smiled and kissed his forehead as I got up from his bed and turned on his nightlight. I walked towards his door and looked back at him to see him smiling and staring at the ceiling.

"Night, mommy! I wove you!" He grinned as I laughed.
"I wuve you too." I replied as I shut his door and walked back to my room.

"He has my hair and eyes." Alex laughed as I rolled my eyes.
"He has your personality too. Trust me." I said in an annoyed voice.

"What the hell is wrong with my personality? The ladies dig it." He winked as I rolled my eyes again.

"Well not this lady." I mumbled.
"You used to." He whispered and met eyes with me.

"How come you don't anymore?" He asked me after a moment of silence.
"Because your a dick." I replied.

"Because I'm a dick? Have you took a look at yourself lately? You have chained me up to your bed and had Jack spoofed me all this week and then tonight you made Matt come over and spoon feed me. Yeah, Mae, I am such a no good dick!" He said sarcastically.

"Well, you are. Okay?" I said in a harsh voice as I folded my arms across my chest and stared off at my wall.

"Mae, come on. I said sorry." He said, moving around on the bed, still trying his ass off to break free of those damn handcuffs.

"I'm never forgiving your ass." I mumbled.

"Mae, I have no one in my life. The last thing I want is for you to turn on me...And I don't want my son to start turning on me either. I just want you...so much." He said with pain his dark brown glossy eyes.

"Well it's a little late for that..." I muttered.

I felt like crying...I felt like I wanted to bend down and kiss him so badly. I missed the taste of his lips. I missed my fingers being intertwined with his own. I missed his smell and the way he used to touch me. I missed...everything.

Suddenly, I just broke down and started crying. I felt myself give in and lean over on his chest. My head up by his neck. I breathed into the crook of his neck, taking in his scent. He even smelled good after a week without showering. It's probably because Jack sprayed him down with AXE every damn day.

"I can't just forgive you. If I do then..." I paused and continued to sob.
"Then everything will be okay..." He whispered in my ear.

"Mae, I love you so much...."