Strength Of The World
01
I was standing outside Outreach Rehabilitation where I had been living for the past year and a half; my parents and brother thought this was the best option for me so they didn’t find me in jail or dead. At first I refused and acted like a complete bitch to them and everyone else around me; but after a few months at Outreach it was clear to me that this was the best choice of me.
I had met a lot of kids throughout the time I was at Outreach; all of them had different problems and different causes for those problems. Some kids were alcoholics, some were suicidal, some had anger problems; but we were all at Outreach for one reason and that was to get help and get better.
I was at Outreach for my drug problem even if at first I didn’t think it was a problem; I first started doing drugs at the young age of 16. Things started slow but the older I got the worse the drugs became; my family finally had enough when I was at the point of doing drugs every single day just so I wasn’t on edge and moody.
So right now I was finally well enough to go home and I was waiting for my brother to come pick me up; I didn’t have to wait long until I saw the black car of my brother to drive up beside me. He climbed out and walked over to me; his hair was short, he was more muscular, his collection of tattoos had grown, but his eyes and smile never changed. He was still the kind and caring big brother that still loved me after everything that I’ve done.
“Hey Mattie” I said smiling as he rushed over to me and picked me up in a tight hug; I laughed as I held onto him and hugged him back as tightly as I could. I’ve missed him so much that it really hurt; he wasn’t just my big brother, he was always my best friend.
“I’ve missed you so damn much Lexi, never ever leave me for that long ever again” Matt told me firmly in his deep voice; the voice that I’d missed like hell. As we stood there hugging I felt my body relax against his; something that hasn’t happened since I came to Outreach.
“Trust me I won’t, I’ve learned my lesson and I’m never going back to that” I said softly as he placed me back down on the ground; I looked into his brown eyes so he knew I was telling the truth, and I really was.
“I know and I won’t let you get like that ever again, I promise you that Lexi. Life hasn’t been the same without you, and everyone has missed you like crazy” Matt told me as he looked down at me; before he kissed the top of my head a few times.
“Thank you Mattie, for everything. I wouldn’t be like this if it wasn’t for you and Mom and Dad, you three saved me” I said quietly as I felt so ashamed of what I was like and the things that I had done; I wasn’t myself but I was grateful that my family knew that and forgive me.
“No problem princess, besides what’s family for” Matt said smiling widely at me as he ruffled my hair; I groaned as I pushed his hand away and fixed my hair. While I was busy with fixing my hair Matt grabbed all my bags and put them in the boot of his car; I climbed into his car along with Matt and then we were off.
“So want to tell me about all of this? We haven’t really had the time to talk about why this happened” Matt asked once we were at his house and I was settled in my new room; Matt had wanted me to live with him and his girlfriend Val, I couldn’t really say no.
“You remember Cole right? Well when we first started dating everything was great, but then he started taking me to more and more parties. He would always disappear for half an hour, and the next time I saw him he would always be high” I told my brother as we both sat on my bed; Matt sitting in front of me, he nodded telling me to go on.
“Then he started to pressure me into taking them as well; at first I always said no but then you started touring and I was missing you so much. Most of our friends were into drugs and I just wanted to fit in; so I started taking them as well” I said looking down at my lap in shame; I hated how easily I gave into the peer pressure that was put on me.
“Then one thing led to another and before I knew it I was addicted, I was getting into harder drugs and I couldn’t stop myself. I was ruining my life before my eyes and I couldn’t do anything about it, I can’t even say that I had a problem” I told him softly as I tucked some hair behind my ear as I looked at him; all I saw was love and understanding in his eyes, but I knew I didn’t deserve it.
“Well I’m just glad that you got help and are now back where you belong, so come on let’s go downstairs. The guys had been complaining all week about when you were going to come home” Matt told me laughing as we both climbed off my bed and headed to the door.
“Yeah I bet they are” I said quietly as we walked out into the hallway and down to the living room where Brian, Zacky, Johnny and Jimmy were waiting for us. As soon as I saw Brian sitting there my stomach got butterflies and I felt nervous; I’d always had a crush on him.
I’d always thought he didn’t like me as more than a friend; after all I am Matt’s little sister so really I was off limits. But I swear right before I left for Outreach Brian and I had a moment; but of course then I left and he never came to visit me, so I ended up thinking it was all in my head. And now I was going to have to see him every day and hid my feelings again.
I had met a lot of kids throughout the time I was at Outreach; all of them had different problems and different causes for those problems. Some kids were alcoholics, some were suicidal, some had anger problems; but we were all at Outreach for one reason and that was to get help and get better.
I was at Outreach for my drug problem even if at first I didn’t think it was a problem; I first started doing drugs at the young age of 16. Things started slow but the older I got the worse the drugs became; my family finally had enough when I was at the point of doing drugs every single day just so I wasn’t on edge and moody.
So right now I was finally well enough to go home and I was waiting for my brother to come pick me up; I didn’t have to wait long until I saw the black car of my brother to drive up beside me. He climbed out and walked over to me; his hair was short, he was more muscular, his collection of tattoos had grown, but his eyes and smile never changed. He was still the kind and caring big brother that still loved me after everything that I’ve done.
“Hey Mattie” I said smiling as he rushed over to me and picked me up in a tight hug; I laughed as I held onto him and hugged him back as tightly as I could. I’ve missed him so much that it really hurt; he wasn’t just my big brother, he was always my best friend.
“I’ve missed you so damn much Lexi, never ever leave me for that long ever again” Matt told me firmly in his deep voice; the voice that I’d missed like hell. As we stood there hugging I felt my body relax against his; something that hasn’t happened since I came to Outreach.
“Trust me I won’t, I’ve learned my lesson and I’m never going back to that” I said softly as he placed me back down on the ground; I looked into his brown eyes so he knew I was telling the truth, and I really was.
“I know and I won’t let you get like that ever again, I promise you that Lexi. Life hasn’t been the same without you, and everyone has missed you like crazy” Matt told me as he looked down at me; before he kissed the top of my head a few times.
“Thank you Mattie, for everything. I wouldn’t be like this if it wasn’t for you and Mom and Dad, you three saved me” I said quietly as I felt so ashamed of what I was like and the things that I had done; I wasn’t myself but I was grateful that my family knew that and forgive me.
“No problem princess, besides what’s family for” Matt said smiling widely at me as he ruffled my hair; I groaned as I pushed his hand away and fixed my hair. While I was busy with fixing my hair Matt grabbed all my bags and put them in the boot of his car; I climbed into his car along with Matt and then we were off.
“So want to tell me about all of this? We haven’t really had the time to talk about why this happened” Matt asked once we were at his house and I was settled in my new room; Matt had wanted me to live with him and his girlfriend Val, I couldn’t really say no.
“You remember Cole right? Well when we first started dating everything was great, but then he started taking me to more and more parties. He would always disappear for half an hour, and the next time I saw him he would always be high” I told my brother as we both sat on my bed; Matt sitting in front of me, he nodded telling me to go on.
“Then he started to pressure me into taking them as well; at first I always said no but then you started touring and I was missing you so much. Most of our friends were into drugs and I just wanted to fit in; so I started taking them as well” I said looking down at my lap in shame; I hated how easily I gave into the peer pressure that was put on me.
“Then one thing led to another and before I knew it I was addicted, I was getting into harder drugs and I couldn’t stop myself. I was ruining my life before my eyes and I couldn’t do anything about it, I can’t even say that I had a problem” I told him softly as I tucked some hair behind my ear as I looked at him; all I saw was love and understanding in his eyes, but I knew I didn’t deserve it.
“Well I’m just glad that you got help and are now back where you belong, so come on let’s go downstairs. The guys had been complaining all week about when you were going to come home” Matt told me laughing as we both climbed off my bed and headed to the door.
“Yeah I bet they are” I said quietly as we walked out into the hallway and down to the living room where Brian, Zacky, Johnny and Jimmy were waiting for us. As soon as I saw Brian sitting there my stomach got butterflies and I felt nervous; I’d always had a crush on him.
I’d always thought he didn’t like me as more than a friend; after all I am Matt’s little sister so really I was off limits. But I swear right before I left for Outreach Brian and I had a moment; but of course then I left and he never came to visit me, so I ended up thinking it was all in my head. And now I was going to have to see him every day and hid my feelings again.