& What Would We Have to Sing About Then?
what she wrote.
I wish I had known you way back when. When you did your hair and make-up and didn't sing your own songs. It's like you've lived two lives and I've only been privileged enough to glimpse one of them.
And the funny thing is, this is the life you claim you want to live. This is the one you're supposed to be happy with, the one you say you're happy with. But you're such a liar. You always have been, from what I've been told.
And back then, you claim you were so out of it and hopelessly falling down into a rabbit hole that didn't take you where you wanted to go. But I've seen the pictures, Ryan, and the videos. I've seen you with him and how blissfully happy you were. You were silly and young and happy. Maybe not all the time, maybe not with everything.
But if you were that happy now, I wouldn't be thinking these thoughts. You're not happy. You like the music and you like certain things and after that, it all goes to hell in a handbasket. You say you're in love with me, but I'm not an idiot. You love me, but I'm not your type. And even if my anatomy matched your preference, I still wouldn't be your type.
Because your type is pretty damn specific.
Brendon.
You can lie all you want, honey. I know you've told me a million times that there aren't any feelings there anymore, that it's all in the past, that you grew apart. But you're a liar. And I love you for it. Trying to be so strong and so stubborn and wanting to erase everything you associated with that life, including him. That's why you cheated on him. (Or so Alex says.)
I just don't understand you and your black&white view of things. Why can't you have both? Or better still, why don't you think you can have both? What got so warped in your mind that you think a relationship with the love of your life can only function if you're in the same band? Where did that weird idea of monogamy and commitment and relationships come into play?
And the funny thing is, this is the life you claim you want to live. This is the one you're supposed to be happy with, the one you say you're happy with. But you're such a liar. You always have been, from what I've been told.
And back then, you claim you were so out of it and hopelessly falling down into a rabbit hole that didn't take you where you wanted to go. But I've seen the pictures, Ryan, and the videos. I've seen you with him and how blissfully happy you were. You were silly and young and happy. Maybe not all the time, maybe not with everything.
But if you were that happy now, I wouldn't be thinking these thoughts. You're not happy. You like the music and you like certain things and after that, it all goes to hell in a handbasket. You say you're in love with me, but I'm not an idiot. You love me, but I'm not your type. And even if my anatomy matched your preference, I still wouldn't be your type.
Because your type is pretty damn specific.
Brendon.
You can lie all you want, honey. I know you've told me a million times that there aren't any feelings there anymore, that it's all in the past, that you grew apart. But you're a liar. And I love you for it. Trying to be so strong and so stubborn and wanting to erase everything you associated with that life, including him. That's why you cheated on him. (Or so Alex says.)
I just don't understand you and your black&white view of things. Why can't you have both? Or better still, why don't you think you can have both? What got so warped in your mind that you think a relationship with the love of your life can only function if you're in the same band? Where did that weird idea of monogamy and commitment and relationships come into play?