Don't Give up Hope

The months flew by, and it was suddenly Christmas time. I couldn’t believe it was already here. This was Gretchen’s favorite time of year and asked me if I wanted any help decorating my place. I knew she just wanted to help, so I let her go crazy. Ryan and I couldn’t stop laughing at her antics; it was so cute.

Ryan and I were still going strong and the same as any boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I wasn’t doing quite as many skating comps. as him, because I was more focused on school right now.

Tony calls every so often to check up on me and to see if everything was still going okay. Of course every day wasn’t going to be perfect, but it could always be worse. At least I have Ryan, his family and friends, and Tony. Instead of having them, I could be totally alone out here. Sure, sometimes Ryan’s life can be stressful, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“Babe!” I heard Ryan call through the house.

“Living room!” I called back.

He walked in just in time to see me stretching. He stopped right away. “Whoa.” He turned his head to the side to get a better view. “I could get used to this view.”

I lose my balance and fell to the floor laughing. “You are such a perv!”

“I am not! I just appreciate the way my girlfriend looks is all. Is that such a crime?”

“Oh, is that what they’re calling it these days?”

He glared playfully at me, before coming over and pouncing on me. His fingers started mercilessly attacking my sides, plus he was planting kisses on my face and neck. Things like this were constantly going down between us. It’s how we stayed so sane in the world we were in.

“Do you give?” He asked, laughing.

“You’re the one that started it!”

“I’ll take that as a no…”

My eyes widened. “No! No, I give!”

He smirked, before leaning back down and molding our lips together. I ran my hands up the back of his shirt and grabbed onto his shoulders. He groaned, pulling back. After he lay his forehead on mine, I knew he was thinking of something.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked, running my hands up and down his back.

“I have to go talk to my dad today.”

Confused, I made him pull back and look at me. “What do you need to talk to him about?”

“Christmas,” he sighed.

“Okay… What about Christmas?”

He sat up, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, you know how I wanted to have a party?” I nodded. “I really wanted to invite him, but Mom doesn’t want me to. She said it wouldn’t be the best of situations and she wouldn’t feel comfortable with it.”

“You know I love your mom, but also it is your decision. I mean, yes you do want to respect your Mom and her wishes, but at the same time, what about your dad.” He threw his head back and groaned in frustration. I sat up and kissed his cheek. “Everything will plan out how it’s supposed to be in the end. Life can’t always be perfect even though we want it to be.”

He nodded, knowing where I was coming from. “Will you go with me to talk to him?”

I felt my stomach knot. “I don’t know if it’s the best idea for me to be there when you two talk…”

“No, I didn’t mean to go in with me. Just to be there after we talk, I don’t know how it’s going to end.”

“Of course I’ll come for support, I’m always here for that.”

He grinned, giving me a soft peck. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

That was the thing, we hadn’t said ‘I love you’ to one another. Our relationship just wasn’t to that point yet and to be honest, I don’t’ know if it ever will… Of course we care about each other immensely, but love was too strong of a word right now…

“Let me go get ready and we can head out,” I told him, before heading up to my room.

The whole ride to his dad’s office, he was fidgeting. I tried to distract him, but that wasn’t easy. He hated hurting anyone he loved even when it wasn’t intentional. He just wanted everyone to get along and be happy together, even if it was fake and just for a few hours. At least everything was normal for that short period of time.

“I’ll be down here when you’re ready to go,” I said, sitting on my tail gate. I’m glad I brought a book with me to keep me occupied.

“Thank you again so much.” He stepped between my legs and cupped my face. “I’m probably going to need someone to vent to after whatever happens.”

I gave him a soft smile and a kiss. “Go talk to your dad; everything will be okay.”

“I hope so.” He squeezed my thighs, before walking off.

Ryan was inside for a good amount of time and it gave me time to think about some things. I was trying to think of how things were going to go with Ryan and his Christmas plans. I didn’t exactly want to be there if there was going to be a huge blow up, but I knew I needed to be there for Ryan. I wasn’t just going to strand him and let him fend for himself.

I didn’t want to get into the middle of a family issue because who knows what I would end up saying or doing. I knew what it was like to have parent problems and I didn’t’ want to see the boys going through that during Christmas.

I looked up when Ryan suddenly cam out of the building and I already knew he was in a bad mood. He walked up to the truck and slammed his hands onto the side of it, hanging his head. I knew he was trying to keep his frustration in check by his breathing. So I walked up behind him and rubbed his back.

“How is everything?” I whispered, not wanting to raise my voice too loud for some strange reason.

Ryan turned around and buried his face in the crook of my neck. “I feel so bad.”

I sighed, running my fingers through his hair. “I’m sure he understands, Baby. He is your dad after all. Things will upset him, but you are his son and he loves you no matter what.”

“That doesn’t make it any easier.”

I knew whatever I would say wouldn’t matter, so I just stuck to comforting him. That was usually the best idea in these situations.